How to meet & keep new homegirls??

Some folks think social media ruins true friendships, but for me, it's our easiest way to  get in touch, chat,  and organise days or nights out.

I definitely think that I was able to develop friendships better and get to know people better on a personal level once we became friends on Facebook. Obviously if you were close friends to start with, it might cause you to drift apart in the sense that you're now only saying "Happy Birthday" on a post on their wall vs texting/calling them (those relationships require more attention/work), but people that you wouldn't normally get to chat too much to I find I've started even just small chit-chat on their status's with. Even that type of talking will help develop a friendship better than rare-to-zero talking!

Hello MissMusic and fellow LA girl!

I am a born and raised LA (well, San Bernardino county lol) Latina  and completely understand how you feel!! before my husband and i got engaged and married, i spent my 6 mon visitor visa with him. Of course i was home alone all day and driving myself insane.  he lives in a small village near a small town and so hard to find friends! couple years before that, i spent 4 months at University of Gloucestershire studying there and seeing him on the weekends.

Lemme tell you, making friends was hard! But i have achieved it on two occasions. here is how it happened:

During the school visit, i told myself, its school! ill make friends! dorms, parties and classes will make it easy! um no. entirely wrong. No one approached me, no one was friendly. i talked with my professors and in group projects but other than that i spoke to no one except the other americans that were there too (which i did make a few lasting friendships with them). When i was at my university in california, i always approached and befriended the study abroad students. (how i met my husband actually <3) i couldnt understand why i wasnt receiving the same treatment when i was the foreign student. In the end, one guy did approach me and made me feel welcomed and comfortable (not hitting on me) he was quirky and interested to hear about the US and our differences. almost 3 years later and we still keep in touch! we message eachother every few months to see how we are doing and when ive visited england we meet up for coffee and a catch up hes even met my hubby!

second successful attempt is actually really recent. i went to a cardio boxing class at the local gym the next village over while i was there on my 6mon visa. as i was sparring with a girl, she heard my accent and the same thing happened! she was quirky and outgoing and we really hit it off. she told me that she was in the same boat. she had just moved back to her village and all her childhood friends had moved out so she was looking for new friends too. we exchanged numbers and i invited her to a pub quiz with my hubby and his best friend. everyone got along great! we have kept in touch with emails since ive been back in california to apply for the spouse visa. we both cant wait till i go back and can hang out again. all in all we met up maybe 5-6 times in about 2months and have been emailing for another two months.

point is, live your life and someone will come along. those are two successful attempts out of many many failed ones. culture is different and some people are just not interested.

oh another helpful tip!, try to join the local lady groups or attend the weekly events a village or town hosts. sometimes the older ladies can make great friends. obviously not "lets go clubbing" friends but definitely "come around for a chat and some tea (or wine)" friends and some days thats all you need haha in my experience, the older ladies are actually friendlier than the girls my age.

anyways, wish our towns were closer in england (ill be in warwickshire)! would love to hang out with another cali girl! ill let you know if im ever near the lake district!

During the school visit, i told myself, its school! ill make friends! dorms, parties and classes will make it easy! um no. entirely wrong. No one approached me, no one was friendly. i talked with my professors and in group projects but other than that i spoke to no one except the other americans that were there too (which i did make a few lasting friendships with them). When i was at my university in california, i always approached and befriended the study abroad students. (how i met my husband actually <3) i couldnt understand why i wasnt receiving the same treatment when i was the foreign student.

It probably depends on the university and the people around you, but I had the same experience during study abroad in the US. I found it very hard to make friends with American students - they all seemed to have their own friends already and weren't interested in being friends with me - and so all the friends I made there were fellow international students (mainly UK and Australian... we still keep in touch now, almost 14 years later).

I think it's just a symptom of culture and society in general - people are usually more comfortable with people who are in familiar situations to themselves... the international students gravitate toward each other because they're in the same boat, while the local students tend to stick with what they know.

she was quirky and outgoing and we really hit it off. she told me that she was in the same boat. she had just moved back to her village and all her childhood friends had moved out so she was looking for new friends too. we exchanged numbers and i invited her to a pub quiz with my hubby and his best friend. everyone got along great! we have kept in touch with emails since ive been back in california to apply for the spouse visa. we both cant wait till i go back and can hang out again. all in all we met up maybe 5-6 times in about 2months and have been emailing for another two months.

Actually that kind of illustrates what I was just saying above - you bonded over being in the same boat as each other and having something in common .

It probably depends on the university and the people around you, but I had the same experience during study abroad in the US. I found it very hard to make friends with American students - they all seemed to have their own friends already and weren't interested in being friends with me - and so all the friends I made there were fellow international students (mainly UK and Australian... we still keep in touch now, almost 14 years later).

ksand24, i think we had similar experiences but reversed! haha thats true, it does depend on the place and people. cultures vary. here, even from state to state, and generation to generation Id guess. But for sure, patience, positivity and friendliness will eventually lead to organic friendships

It probably depends on the university and the people around you, but I had the same experience during study abroad in the US. I found it very hard to make friends with American students - they all seemed to have their own friends already and weren't interested in being friends with me - and so all the friends I made there were fellow international students (mainly UK and Australian... we still keep in touch now, almost 14 years later).

At my uni, where I was a commuter student (not even an international student), I had a hard time because everybody already had made their friends during their pre-school starting activities in their dorms and stuff... It was rough as my friends had all gone off to go to  uni's in other states or parts of our state so I had to kind of start over and it was not a good start. I think that it can just be really hard when you become an adult to make friends unless you're put in a situation where you are more or less forced to bond with people. I totally agree that I think it just comes down to the school and the people around you as I've had similar experiences to you both but I was on my own home turf!

You had me at HOMEGIRL
Hello ladies! My name is Jennifer and my family and I just moved here from Southern California (Riverside).
We've been here for just 3 weeks and already feeling anxious to meet friends. It's discouraging knowing it's gonna be hard but it's good to know I shouldn't take it personal.
If you live near me, I'd totally take a yoga class with you !! And get coffee afterwards 😂

You had me at HOMEGIRL
Hello ladies! My name is Jennifer and my family and I just moved here from Southern California (Riverside).
We've been here for just 3 weeks and already feeling anxious to meet friends. It's discouraging knowing it's gonna be hard but it's good to know I shouldn't take it personal.
If you live near me, I'd totally take a yoga class with you !! And get coffee afterwards 😂

Welcome to the UK!

Where are you and your family located?

You had me at HOMEGIRL
Hello ladies! My name is Jennifer and my family and I just moved here from Southern California (Riverside).
We've been here for just 3 weeks and already feeling anxious to meet friends. It's discouraging knowing it's gonna be hard but it's good to know I shouldn't take it personal.
If you live near me, I'd totally take a yoga class with you !! And get coffee afterwards 😂

Hi Jennifer. welcome! 
Do you have a British spouse or are you guys here on a work visa? 

You had me at HOMEGIRL
Hello ladies! My name is Jennifer and my family and I just moved here from Southern California (Riverside).

Hi Jennifer!  I come from just along the road from you, in Norco, CA!  Small world... although I have to confess when I read 'homegirl' on this thread, I didn't know exactly what it meant.  I  thought it had something to do with gangs!  (I'm OLD!) 

You had me at HOMEGIRL
Hello ladies! My name is Jennifer and my family and I just moved here from Southern California (Riverside).
We've been here for just 3 weeks and already feeling anxious to meet friends. It's discouraging knowing it's gonna be hard but it's good to know I shouldn't take it personal.
If you live near me, I'd totally take a yoga class with you !! And get coffee afterwards 😂

I used to live in Riverside county--Hemet and Murrieta. England is a big change! How are you liking it so far?

Wow!!! So interesting to hear that ladies!! We really are "home" girls!!
My husband is working for Amazon.
We have 3 daughters (11, 10 &
We live in Hale, Altricham in Manchester.
It's different but not as "different" as I thought. We have a nice home, lovely area, bought a car, registered the girls for school, updated our mobile phones, Netflix is working  I'd say we are doin pretty good  .
Weather throws me off a little, not finding my go to items at the grocery stores disappoints me, having underwear drying in the kitchen is interesting and driving...TERRIFYING.
I'll be joining a gym soon so I can actually interact with adults during the day. My girls are excited for school so they can make friends as well.

Thank you for the replies

It sounds like you're settling in well

Manchester is a great city, lots of interesting things to do and nice people.

not finding my go to items at the grocery stores disappoints me

Definitely check out the food section here if you're having trouble as other people may have discussed the same troubles and found a solution. Either that or do what I do and do the standard google of "UK equivalent of ...."

I totally feel you with the British women! I have been here since dec 2016 and it's so hard to make friends espically since I was on a fiancé visa and couldn't work. I am married now but it's still so hard! I find British women aren't as friendly and we can't connect as weird as that sounds🙈 I hang out with my husband and his friends with their girlfriends but it's very cliqueish like as others said they are all friends from school for years and never make any new ones in their circle it's so bizarre so I've given up on trying with them outside of hanging out in a group setting lol I've tried bumble bff app for trying to find friends locally I've found a few nice girls but haven't met up with them yet but it's looking promising. As you said I'm so used to saying let's go grab coffee now! People here tend to pencil hangouts in way in advance. I have found some Americans in my area the West Midlands on a Facebook group they surprisingly have been the nicest and friendliest to me thank god! Where are you from?