As a fellow person who went through all the hurdles and stress of UK immigration, I feel for her. There are a plethora of things that absolutely suck about UKVI, and I don't think anyone here has strong positive feelings about them. I don't have a problem with what she's done as she's not actually done anything wrong. Plenty of people are refused visas because they don't meet the eligibility requirements, or their application isn't supported with the correct documentation, or they have unpaid NHS debt, and so on. And it's not a crime to enter the UK as a visitor after a refused visa application, or a previous bounce. Many people on this forum have done so successfully - some by applying in advance for entry clearance as a visitor, and some by just showing up at the border and taking the risk.
Ultimately, they took a gamble, and in the end, it didn't work out.
UKVI recommend not to book flights (not to mention entire blessing ceremonies) until you have confirmation your visa is approved, and that you have it in hand to ensure your personal details are correct.
While UKVI does have processing service standards, there's always the chance exceptional circumstances could mean they fall short. Maybe your personal situation is highly complicated, and additional checks take longer than usual. Maybe there's an outbreak of virulent flu causing unexpected severe staff shortages. Goodness forbid, there's a terrorist atrocity and the majority of civil servants are redeployed to provide support in other areas.
Even if the visa had been granted, and even if it was granted within a week, there are still other factors that could cause problems with the best laid plans. What if Eyjafjallajökull erupted again? What if air traffic control staff went on strike? What if the Chunnel had to be closed for a few weeks for emergency engineering work?
When you go on holiday, you don't expect to suddenly develop acute appendicitis and need emergency surgery. You take a gamble before you go as to whether you'll purchase insurance or not. More than likely, you can jet off without insurance, and you'll have a lovely holiday without any drama. But this might be that one time something unexpected occurs, and your gamble doesn't work out - and now you find yourself being discharged from a hospital with a sizeable invoice.
They made a calculated decision that their visa would be approved within the processing time stated by UKVI, and made plans based on that without a safety net of insurance coverage for their event. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that, but you must be prepared that it is a risk you are taking. And if it doesn't pan out, you need to acknowledge that you took that chance.
I have no love for UKVI, but in this instance, it's not wholly their fault. Certainly, they have some blame if the visa had been refused in May and the decision letter wasn't dispatched, but even with them having that portion of responsibility, it's still not entirely UKVI's mess.
On one hand, I'll be happy to see her and her husband make their ceremony. Enough families are put through the ringer due to immigration. On the other, there's just something that doesn't sit with me that they ran to the media calling what they went through "tortuous." There are people whose lives are literally dependent on obtaining permission to remain in the UK - and who are put under massive scrutiny due to others abusing the system. There are families with children separated for years from a parent due to strict eligibility requirements - where UKVI has essentially created a single-parent household despite both parents wanting to live and raise their child(ren) together as one family unit. And let us not forget a family from this forum where the UKC half sadly passed away in the US (despite wanting to be able to go back home during his short time left) as his illness and resulting inability to work in the USA meant he couldn't meet the requirements to sponsor his partner to come back with him.
