safely back in Florida (ramblings)

Good for you up4tea!  I seem to recall you saying when you first "broke up" (for lack of a better term) that "If you love something, let it go  etc.."  That is essentially what you have just done.  It now totally puts the ball in his court so it is up to him.  You have done all you can do to control your end of the situation and it now requires him to make an effort.   That is a good thing for you.  Chin up and look at this as empowering rather than defeatist.

I just hope I am able to stick to my guns.
I am TERRIBLE at giving in and contacting people in situations like this. I will miss him, I will want to hear his voice, I will want to know what is going on in his life.
I am already wondering if it is "okay" to email him before the job interview I know he has on Thursday, just to wish him luck...in  a way I think it would be a sign of care and support that shows him just how much he really means. And in a way I feel like I shouldn't...that it might be interpreted as clinginess.   
ARGH!

HELP!

You probably already wished him luckor congratulations of some sort on the interview right after he told you he had one.  IMO, I don't think you should contact him.  After all, you asked him not to email you if the reason was "just to keep in touch".  It seems that the alternative to "just to keep in touch" emails would be "I can't live without you and want to be involved in a serious relationship".  That is definately a call that he has to make on his own. 

 

If you are into reading self-help style books I agree with jklm's suggestion -He's Just Not That Into You.  I've heard it's pretty good.  There's another one that is always on display at my local library (?) - It's Called a Break-Up Because it's Broken.  They might be able to help you objectively analyze what happened in this relationship and figure out how valuable it actually is/was. 

If you are into reading self-help style books I agree with jklm's suggestion -He's Just Not That Into You.  I've heard it's pretty good.  There's another one that is always on display at my local library (?) - It's Called a Break-Up Because it's Broken.  They might be able to help you objectively analyze what happened in this relationship and figure out how valuable it actually is/was. 

 that's part two to the book! and it is a funny book... the author was a writer for Sex and the City. I didn't even realize it was "self help" until I neared then end.

stay strong. you will believe in youself more if you do. you are worth it!

I just hope I am able to stick to my guns.
I am TERRIBLE at giving in and contacting people in situations like this. I will miss him, I will want to hear his voice, I will want to know what is going on in his life.
I am already wondering if it is "okay" to email him before the job interview I know he has on Thursday, just to wish him luck...in  a way I think it would be a sign of care and support that shows him just how much he really means. And in a way I feel like I shouldn't...that it might be interpreted as clinginess.   

I would not email him...its just setting yourself up for disappointment.  Be strong now and it'll pay off in the end.

I would not email him...its just setting yourself up for disappointment. Be strong now and it'll pay off in the end.

Oh dear, I totally agree. It's very hard, especially because he means a lot to you, you love him and you want him to be ok, but I think it would be a step back.

It will take some time and of course will be hard at first but it will pass.  I truly believe everything happens for a reason, maybe you can't see it now because you're in deep pain but you'll see this happened for a reason too.

You've done the hardest part, you stood up and said ENOUGH, I can't remember who said this but she was totally right, you deserve more than this. You hang it there!

well...now for a new update! LOL

boys are so dense sometimes

I had a long email from him this morning saying that he still considers me his partner,  but that he just isn't ready to make a decision/permanent commitment (ie he isn't ready to propose)!
silly man!
I told him, I never asked him to do anything other than tell me whether we are still in a relationship!
And he keeps getting it in his head that when I ask "are we trying to work this out" that I am asking him "will you marry me?"!!!
ARGH   UGH!

for heaven's sake I have doubts about our marriage potential at this stage, we were only together since late December!
But at least I knew I loved him enough to want to continue working towards a future together!

anyway so now as it stands we are just going to keep in touch by email probably 2 days a week and both focus on getting our own lives/careers in order
and hopefully make plans to see each other again later this year...

boys are so dense sometimes

boys are dumb

I decided I am holding out for a man I like who actually has the balls to tell me so. I despise guessing games. Just say it as it is or move on. Life is too short... even though they can be cute and cuddly, but then I should just get a cat. 

I had to show the receptionist where I work your comment about boys being dense.  She and I often have the boys are dense conversation quite often.  We are both in long-distance relationships, and can be troubled by something said by our partners.  Either they have trouble clarifying/justifying their ideas or the boys just had it come out wrong originally.  So after almost every weekend, we come in sighing, and saying things like, ugh.... new complaint for the Boys Are Dumb (BAD) campaign.  I'm sorry it took so much to get an explanation from him, but I do hope that it is turning out the way you hoped.  Best of Luck!

I had to show the receptionist where I work your comment about boys being dense.  She and I often have the boys are dense conversation quite often.  We are both in long-distance relationships, and can be troubled by something said by our partners.  Either they have trouble clarifying/justifying their ideas or the boys just had it come out wrong originally.  So after almost every weekend, we come in sighing, and saying things like, ugh.... new complaint for the Boys Are Dumb (BAD) campaign.  I'm sorry it took so much to get an explanation from him, but I do hope that it is turning out the way you hoped.  Best of Luck!

yeah it sure seemed like I had made it clear that all I wanted was to know he still wanted to work on things...but I guess he didn't quite get it!
at least now it feels like we are on the same page so I can finally breathe and get on with living while we wait to see each other again instead of feeling depressed over being rejected!

thanks for your support and good luck to you, too
I want to be part of the BAD campaign

I'm glad you finally feel some relief.  Four months isn't a very long time to have been dating before being "forced" into making a lifelong committment - and it sounds like neither of you were ready for that.  Good luck with your dating and the BAD campaign!   

thanks for your support and good luck to you, too
I want to be part of the BAD campaign

No problem, any time you need anything or need to have a thinking aloud, I'd be interested in hearing.  And as far as (BAD), well, we are currently working on tee-shirt design!   

And as far as (BAD), well, we are currently working on tee-shirt design!   

For years my mother has been telling me "boys are bad" who knew she meant the acronymn too!!!!!!  Ah, the lightbulb finally turns on!!