Would you go on holiday without your spouse/partner?

Having met and spent time with Aless's DH on several occasions, I'd just like to say that I think that folks might be reading a little too much into her comment.   I suspect his stance is much more along the lines of "but we OUGHT to want to do everything together, because that's what married people in love DO" than "I forbid you to live a live separate from mine in any way!"  (Keep in mind that they're newlyweds! )

Just wanted to throw that out there, as Aless is currently mostly AFK while on holiday to the US and may not have had time to phrase her comment in the most ideal way, and likely hasn't had time to get online and correct people's perceptions....

Thanks, Meg...

I probably did phrase it poorly - and also just like it's difficult to explain the idiosyncrasies of your own relationships to other people, it's difficult to explain ours to you guys!

I guess a better way to put it is that I (personally) wouldn't mind taking a trip away from my husband, but he's just the type of person that would strongly want to come with me (just to be 'with' me) even if it was something that didn't interest him - because he thinks that's what married couples do (take trips TOGETHER and not separately).  And since he feels that way, I probably wouldn't take a trip without him out of consideration for his feelings - why cause fights and debates?  Also, we're both adventurous and love travelling, so it's never come up that there would be a place one of us would want to go and the other wouldn't (unlike some people who may have 'homebody' spouses).

I thought something similar.  I might carelessly (and inaccurately) say that Ross wouldn't "let" me go, but what I would really mean is that he was unhappy about my going.  Going anyway without regard for his feelings would be tantamount to saying "screw you, you don't matter", so I wouldn't do it.  Having said that, he'd never be selfish enough to try and show any serious opposition to something I really wanted to do.  It's not about a power dynamic, it's about respect for the one you love.

Thanks, Elliejean, that is was basically what I was trying to say!  Teaches me to reply quickly to a complicated thread while on holiday (and don't have time to properly type out & fully consider my wording )!

And yeah, I think there's probably a difference in couples that have been together for a lengthy time and those of us who are newlyweds or similar.  Everyone's different, and I can understand how both sides of the coin work.  Considering the OP was an open-ended question soliciting people's personal situations, that's exactly what I was passing along!

I would, but my husband refuses to do so.  He says, "it's just wrong."  I doubt the situation would ever come up, mostly because neither of us have many close friends, but if it did I wouldn't mind at all.

(this statement is further clarified in my post on page 5...I didn't mean to make it sound like my husband chains me to the bedpost or anything!  Sorry, hon, I probably made you look bad )

Oh, I thought you meant just you and him.

When he does his big trips, he usually goes with at least 2 or 3 friends, sometimes a large group, which is why we'll always have our own holidays apart and then one together that's a compromise.

I think we fall into the "wouldn't really want to go on holiday without each other" camp! I don't think its odd to go on vacation without your spouse, I just don't think I would enjoy a real vacation without Ed! That said, I do take "shopping vacations" to drive down to Orlando for the day with my friends, and in January I'll be heading to the North American Veterinary Conference for four days (:-() without him. I'll miss him lots!!

But we've discussed the countries/cities we want to visit and luckily we're both interested in the same places!

I would imagine that most couples would prefer not to go away without each other...and I don't think it makes a difference if they are newlyweds or established couples.  But I know that if I wanted to go on a week trip travelling the tram network of the Netherlands then go see Arsenal in a pre-season tournament, Dan would probably not want to go or would not be able to get the time of work, and he would be supportive of me going.  And probably welcome the opportunity to bring the banned KFC into the flat and play 'Guitar Hero' to three in the morning.  He would never say "well, I don't want to go with you so I don't want you to go either."


Vicky

  He would never say "well, I don't want to go with you so I don't want you to go either."


Vicky

I can't believe anyone would say that!

i don't really think i would, probs for a day. i just seem to enjoy more when i'm with him. we are all diferent aren't we?!:)