Etiquette

Well, he's a man which is some excuse, and probably never had the hair dresser round.     And while I appreciate Pebbles debate about the workmen the hairdresser really is a whole different kettle of fish.  She really would have expected to be offered a cup of tea.  She was probably gasping for one which is why she asked.  Just buy a box of PG Tipps and a small jar of instant and stick it in the cupboard. 

My hairdresser quit her salon and comes to my house each month. She is just 19 and prefers coke. I always offer it to her and she takes three sips and thats it. Down the drain but I know to have it in the house for her anyway.

Here's one I haven't seen addressed yet: saying "excuse me" instead of "I'm sorry" in a situation where someon is trying to get by you.  I just learned recently that saying "excuse me" is considered rude or snarky. All this time I thought I was being polite by saying "excuse me" and it turns out quite the opposite. And I can't stop doing it. My first, and strongest,  instinct is always to say it, but now I tack on an "I'm sorry" afterwards. Hopefully my accent and tone of voice makes it sound not quite so bad . . .

Here's one I haven't seen addressed yet: saying "excuse me" instead of "I'm sorry" in a situation where someon is trying to get by you.  I just learned recently that saying "excuse me" is considered rude or snarky. All this time I thought I was being polite by saying "excuse me" and it turns out quite the opposite. And I can't stop doing it. My first, and strongest,  instinct is always to say it, but now I tack on an "I'm sorry" afterwards. Hopefully my accent and tone of voice makes it sound not quite so bad . . .

Excuse me is bad?? Uh oh.....no wonder people never seem friendly towards me....I say it all the time!! But I say sorry as well.....after barging (ok, passing!) by the person.

My hairdresser quit her salon and comes to my house each month. She is just 19 and prefers coke. I always offer it to her and she takes three sips and thats it. Down the drain but I know to have it in the house for her anyway.

Pebbles, I would just get a bottle, pour her about FOUR sips, or half a glass, the put the bottle away, so there would be no wasting...also, remember how workmen in the states always carry their own thermos around, and you would see their igloos hanging off the back of their work truck with their drinks in it.....way easier than making 21 cups of tea a day, that woulda driven me nutso!!

Excuse me is bad?? Uh oh.....no wonder people never seem friendly towards me....I say it all the time!! But I say sorry as well.....after barging (ok, passing!) by the person.

Yeah... 'excuse me' is kind of the equivalent of 'you are in my way... move it!!'!   'Sorry' is more of a 'could you just budge up a wee bit so i can get by you'.   

Another thing that I find strange is nobody saying "Bless you" when you sneeze.  Even though I know it's just not part of British culture, when I sneeze and everybody just ignores me, it makes me feel like I'm purposely being given the silent treatment, as if by involuntarily sneezing I've committed a breech of etiquette.  I always find myself saying "sorry" after sneezing.

I also don't know of any Brits who offer wine to someone who will be driving. Actually, I've heard Brits say they are surprised at the amount of Americans who drink and then drive. In fact, my fiance has already said that he won't be drinking at all at our wedding, because two children that he cares for at work are coming as guests, and he'll be driving them home afterwards.

Excuse me is bad?? Uh oh.....no wonder people never seem friendly towards me....I say it all the time!! But I say sorry as well.....after barging (ok, passing!) by the person.

I think That is where the difference is.. if you have already passed someone and you say 'excuse me"  than I agree  it is cheeky and rude..but if you are still behind a person and  you need them to move, why would you say  "sorry" ?  They are in your way..

I say "I'm sorry, could you please excuse me?"  That always seems polite and it works.   

I think That is where the difference is.. if you have already passed someone and you say 'excuse me"  than I agree  it is cheeky and rude..but if you are still behind a person and  you need them to move, why would you say  "sorry" ?  They are in your way..

Because you're in a foreign country, and that's the custom here! 

Sweetpeach, i always say 'sorry' when i sneeze as well. 

I really like the whole "sorry" for just about everything custom. Maybe I am just used to hearing it since DH says CONSTANTLY, but it is a habit I picked up from him right away and use it here all the time. I like the fact that it is non-confrontational and people seem to respond to it well for the most part. "Excuse me" has left my vocabulary almost completely LOL.

I really like the whole "sorry" for just about everything custom. Maybe I am just used to hearing it since DH says CONSTANTLY, but it is a habit I picked up from him right away and use it here all the time. I like the fact that it is non-confrontational and people seem to respond to it well for the most part. "Excuse me" has left my vocabulary almost completely LOL.

I'm finding this fascinating. I always say excuse me. I cant see what could be cheeky or not nice about it.
Also, I only say sorry if I really am sorry for something. Like if I bumped into someone or whatever.
I mentioned this before. What about "you're welcome" I have never heard these words here..never never not even once. I say "thank you" and I get a "Its ok" back. Never you're welcome. Funny!
Also the "god bless you" thing is funny. Nobody says it here. I say it around the house but force myself not to say it in public like I used to do back in the USA. A few weeks ago I was on the train from Brum and a girl next to me sneezed. It was a good, healthy,loud sneeze that really warrented a "bless you". I just bit my tongue. Really though. "God bless you" is quite silly isn't it? I recall on Seinfeld they would say instead of "God bless you"...."You're SO good looking". Now THAT would be something!

I'm finding this fascinating. I always say excuse me. I cant see what could be cheeky or not nice about it.

Ricki, imagine someone trying to walk past you quickly and barging into you, without comment and carrying on, the Brit use of "excuse ME!" is to indicate to that person that they are in the wrong and should have said "excuse me (neutrally of course) to you to politely request that you move.

If I cannot get past someone as a Brit, I say "excuse me" or "can I just get past you" and then "thanks" when they move.

Sorry is a bit more complicated, sorry is for when you have bumped into someone and it seems that the bumper say sorry and sometimes the bumpee  also says sorry, just in case they were at fault without realising it! (this keeps everyone happy)!

Just to complicate matters, I always say "you're welcome" if someone thanks me for something, but sometimes, if someone has pushed past me, or left me holding a door open for them without saying thanks I will often say it then too sarcastically, "oh you are WELCOME" and smile. It's amazing how many times that prompts a "sorry" and a "thank you"....... complicated - us? never!

Also the "god bless you" thing is funny. Nobody says it here. I say it around the house but force myself not to say it in public like I used to do back in the USA. A few weeks ago I was on the train from Brum and a girl next to me sneezed. It was a good, healthy,loud sneeze that really warrented a "bless you". I just bit my tongue. Really though. "God bless you" is quite silly isn't it? I recall on Seinfeld they would say instead of "God bless you"...."You're SO good looking". Now THAT would be something!

I was always taught to say "excuse me" (here we go! LOL!) when I sneezed and that would bring a "bless you". I have since found out that a lot of people do not say bless you for their religious beliefs.  The first I noticed of that was working with two Jehovah's Witnesses, they wouldn't say it for obvious reasons, so I had to learn to hold the bless you in when it was then, but generally it seems a polite thing, although very few in my office do this.

"God bless you" is quite silly isn't it? I recall on Seinfeld they would say instead of "God bless you"...."You're SO good looking". Now THAT would be something!

This started because people believed that when you sneezed a part of your soul would escape.

Ok, but wait, I say excuse me when I want to get by them, and if they just kinda huffily move out of the way, I say sorry when I've passed. Also, and this kind of just dawned on me, do Brits look at 'excuse me' as something you would say after you've belched or tooted?  If so, then I would understand their dislike of the phrase. Considering the whole 'etiquette' thing, I suppose Red Lobster, and the whole bib thing would not go over very well here!!