why is this so dang hard

I'm sure everyone on here can relate to the distance getting to me.  Its been 4 months since i was for a vist to see my DF and i have three weeks more to go with christmas and new year's in between.  I am struggling with the thought of his being with his family for christmas and me being with mine but neither of us being together.  To top it off, he is on holiday from work for two weeks for christmas and he was supposed to be here, but things did not work out the way we had hoped and we have had to come to grips with that.  Financially things are difficult, im a single mom, trying to afford a relationship across an ocean and the phone bill is killing me. We are ages away from me and my little girl being able to move and it seems like after this visit i don't know when we are going to see each other. :\\\'(

He is sick to make things worse and refuses to go to the doctor alone. He is scared and worried, his dad died of cancer and the symptoms he has are the same as his dad had before he was diagnosed and i am so worried that he is wasting time he shouldn't be.  I have made him promise to go with me when i am there, but i really wish i could convince him to go before i get there.  I dont know what to do and it is killing me, the worry, the stress.

Sorry to whine, just needed to get it out. 

hi, I feel your pain.  It sucks.  The only thing that keeps me going is that eventually, we will be together.  I imagine my life without Rich and want to cry.  So everyday, Im thankful we met.  Money is always the issue in life, it seems. It may not buy you happiness but it sure can buy you security!  We used to have insane phone bills, and now we use Skype. (www.skype.com)  We will not be together for xmas and thats been a painful subject.  However, its our last one that we wont be spending together! (im moving there in a couple months)  I totally relate to the worry and stress you are feeling.  And hopefully his family will encourage him to get to the doctor, or atleast when you get there you can.

Keep your chin up and have a wonderful visit, three weeks will fly by!

jennredd,
thanks for the support, i know it will go fast, some nights are so hard, last night was one of them, i spent hours on here just trying to keep busy so i wouldn't lay in bed and cry.  I talked to him today and he's feeling a little better, but i still worry so much.  It is one of the hardest things in the world to be far away and still feel that desire to care for someone when they are ill.  I feel so useless when i ask him if there is anything i can do and of course we both know there's not.  thanks for your kind words, good luck with your move, i wish we were that close to me moving!!  I wish only good things for you both.

I can offer two more cheap ways to make calls.

Calling from the USA--->dial 1010987 and then the full international number for a 3¢  a minute rate (http://www.1010987.com for more info).

Calling from the UK---> call 0844 704 0900   and you get a recording telling you to dial the international number at the tone. It's about 4p a minute.

Hi Tristessa, I understand what you're going through and it really is difficult.  My guy recently left the UK to spend a year on a work holiday in Australia, so now we've not spoken on the phone in 2 months cos he's not quite settled there yet and doesn't have a phoneline.. we had started text messaging before he left but that gets expensive, so I get a text from him once or twice per week and I text back once or twice per week (at $.20 each).  That could be an option for you and your bf.. it's nice to see my phone light up and hear the text sound and read a loving message from him on my mobile.. I would recommend Skype also.   Hope you get through this and know that you are definately not alone! 

thanks to you all for the kind words and support, it helps knowing that others out there are dealing with the same issues.  We email back and forth and talk on MSN, we just got into a bad habit of spending ages on the phone after our last visit and it has taken us this long to come to our senses, it just seems worse now after talking so much for so long.   I am literally counting down the days and hours until i leave and just want to get past christmas and new years with as little fuss as possible. 
Spinky: my heart goes out to you, no talking for 2 months, i would go mad.  I hope you two can talk soon and i hope the year goes fast for you.

Thank you for the kind words,  I am going a bit mad but I'm also keeping busy to keep my mind off him.. someone here suggested that I take care of myself during the year and that's what I've decided to do.  I know we'll last the year if it's meant to be  

i'm sure you two will make it through just fine.  The thing i have to remind myself of all the time is that after going through so much together, once we are with each other, we won't take the little things that make life special for granted.  That the distance even at it worse, can only help us build a stronger relationship in the end, its just the getting there part that's hard

I feel better about things today than i have for a couple of days, some things are like that, some days are better than others, being on here helps, just seeing how many couples made it through and how happy they are now.

If you ever get lonely and want a penpal, feel free to email me, i'd love to hear from you, take care of yourself.
Cheers,
Sandy

email: tristessa7521@yahoo.com

Glad to see you are feeling a little better Sandy. It's hard, I know.. believe me I know! But you're right, it helps to find people that have been or are in a similair situation. I hope your days continue to get brighter. Hang in there and Happy Holidays to you! 

Thanks!  I really appreciate that and I will definitely keep your offer in mind  You're right about the distance making the relationship stronger cos that seems to be happening in my case.  That's great that you're feeling better, just take things one day at a time but don't put too much energy on how much you miss your bf or how long the road ahead is... that just makes it harder.  It does help seeing how many people have made it, and just having support from people who understand.  Keep your spirits up and take care too.

Spinky

Thanks so much SillySnip and Spinky, your kind words and support mean alot.  I have two weeks to go and am counting down!!!  Hope you both have a great holiday and thanks again for being here, i don't know what i'd do without this site sometimes.

Hi tristessa,

I recommend Skype as well. For your df ringing you, I recommend NTL. I use NTL to ring my family in the US and although you pay £2/mth for their international calls, you only pay 2p/minute. That definitely helps.

Also, Yahoo!Messenger's newest version allows you to talk just like you do on the phone:

Free, Worldwide PC-to-PC Calls*
Making free, worldwide PC-to-PC calls is easy. You and the person you call both need Yahoo! Messenger with Voice, plus a microphone and speakers (or headset.)

The sound quality is much better than regular or mobile phones. Listen to our audio sample and hear the difference.

Free Voicemail and Call History
1. Free Voicemail. If you're offline or away from the computer, your friends can leave you voicemail. You'll see a star by the Voicemail icon, just beneath the Content Tabs. Click the Voicemail icon, select the voicemail you want to listen to and press Play.

2. Call History. See a log of all incoming, outgoing, and missed calls - plus all your voicemails - at any time. We'll let you know who called, at what time, on what day and how long you spoke for.

Ringtones
You can select the ringtone that plays when you receive a call through Yahoo! Messenger with Voice. You can even assign special ringtones to different contacts on your Messenger List, so you'll know who's calling right when you hear the ringtone!

http://uk.messenger.yahoo.com/feat_voice.php;_ylt=AlrIBSKh5yyorsNcH4sOblkM5skF.

I've done this on occasion with friends and it makes a world of difference!

Best wishes and 

Aiyana, thanks for the info!  I'll have to check it out when i get home from work tonite, I have been looking at all the different options for calling and its a bit overwhelming, nice to hear of something else that has been tried and works!  Happy holidays!

You're quite welcome, tristessa. Hope you and your df sort out something. Oh, forgot to mention that NTL isn't available everywhere in the UK. Your df might want to ring around the local telephone companies to see if he can find a deal similar to NTL (if it's not available where he lives).

Best of luck!! 

Aiyana,
thanks again, we are trying to sort something out, is hard but worth it.  He's got NTL, and the international plan, the problem is more on my end then his.  I've tried the 1010987 the last couple of days too, when i can't get online, does work, will just have to wait to see what the bill is like.    Our biggest problem now is the usual bickering right before a visit.  Hate that!!  It'll settle down, only have 8 more days after today and then im on that plane.

Happy New Year's everyone!!!