Breast is Best

There's no need to patronize.

I don't see MrsPink's comments as patronising at all.  I agree completely.

It's easy to lose focus when they're babies and young children.

Funnily enough, I was dicussing parenting w/my mom recently, b/c she was such an incredible example.  She said, 'They seem so needy when they're babies and toddlers.  But I think they actually need you most when they're teens.  They just don't know how to show that.'

I think she is talking about the mother of the older girls. When the second girl was born the womans mother let the other daughter (her granddaughter) suckle from her.

No Rikki it was the newborn baby that the grandmother suckled...the daughter (mom) had just given birth and was adamant that they didn't put anything into the newborns mouth. So the grandmother let the baby nurse.....

I don't see MrsPink's comments as patronising at all.  I agree completely.

Me too! I agree with her whole post, I think she spoke very well. I just thought the 'focus on the big picture, people' was a little patronizing. I know I'm focused on the 'big picture' of raising my daughter and bfing her was a small but significant part of that, it sure wasn't and isn't the whole picture now is it? Again she spoke very well.

spot on, mrs pink!  you convey sentiments i tried to express in an earlier post SO much better than i did!

let's face it, they don't stay babies long.  just ask meshell, they become teens!   
being a parent was so much different to how i'd envisaged whilst pregnant w/my first.  also, each child is so different.  being flexible is such a big part of being a mom.

LOL I love it....

I just thought the 'focus on the big picture, people' was a little patronizing.

Nah, that doesn't bother me at all.  But then again, Scots are known for being blunt, so I'm used to it.

I just want to say something a bit extreme here, but it is just these types of discussions that has helped strengthen my opinion that I don't want to be a mother. When we, meaning girls/women, are teenagers, we are so competitive with each other, clawing at each other at every chance. By the time we get to our late 20s, things begin to settle down, our confidence grows as women and we develop strong bonds with each other. Then we start to have babies and it starts all over again. The competition between mothers is astounding! It just seems to me that if you don't have the perfect pram or give your child the healthiest food or god forbid, let your child near a television, you are a horrible parent! I understand that people have very strong opinions about how to raise children and I may never understand it, but why are mothers (very general statement, not necessarily referring to all of the mothers here or on the planet) so quick to shake their head and point their finger at other mothers for doing things differently. Isn't it just good enough to love your children.

Sorry...I know it may have been a bit off topic, but it has been brewing in my mind for a while and I just felt it needed to be said.

Nah, that doesn't bother me at all.  But then again, Scots are known for being blunt, so I'm used to it.

Fair enough, guess I need to toughen up a bit Or go to Scotland for a visit which I'd LOVE to do, hear fantastic things about it all of time.

I didn't pick up on any competition or finger-pointing in this thread at all, Pkessler.  In fact, quite the opposite -- as a woman planning to start trying to conceive in the next 2-3 years, I'm very interested in what everyone here has had to say and can honestly say that several of the women here are the first place I'd go for advice (after my own mother, of course  ).

Oh good god you can't let other people's opinions stop you having kids! There is a certain amount of "competitiveness" but you just have to ignore that and do what is right for you and your child.  Among my friends, I find there is very little of that sort of thing, we all support each other in our choices.   It is only when I go to certian websites or read particular articles I feel that kind of pressure and those are easy to avoid.

I just want to say something a bit extreme here, but it is just these types of discussions that has helped strengthen my opinion that I don't want to be a mother. When we, meaning girls/women, are teenagers, we are so competitive with each other, clawing at each other at every chance. By the time we get to our late 20s, things begin to settle down, our confidence grows as women and we develop strong bonds with each other. Then we start to have babies and it starts all over again. The competition between mothers is astounding! It just seems to me that if you don't have the perfect pram or give your child the healthiest food or god forbid, let your child near a television, you are a horrible parent! I understand that people have very strong opinions about how to raise children and I may never understand it, but why are mothers (very general statement, not necessarily referring to all of the mothers here or on the planet) so quick to shake their head and point their finger at other mothers for doing things differently. Isn't it just good enough to love your children.

Sorry...I know it may have been a bit off topic, but it has been brewing in my mind for a while and I just felt it needed to be said.

Wow, I'm so sorry you feel this way. I don't think anyone on here is pointing fingers at anyone else's mothering skills, I think everyone respects everyones decision even if it isn't what they personally did. Please don't let other's actions make such 'huge' decisions in your own life, how you chose to raise your baby should be how you feel fit and not about what anyone else is doing, buying or at the very least thinking. I think the thread is more about support and advice and I know I'd never judge another mothers ideas, unless of course it was harmful to the child and if anyone is judging me, let them, I know in my heart I'm doing what I know how to do with the best of my abilities.
In short, don't let others determine how you live your life. I'm hoping this came across in a nice way, posts can get mis interpreted very easily and honestly I mean no harm whatsoever. As all the mothers on here would agree, it's the best job and most unconditional relationship you will ever have, don't miss out because so and so doesn't like what so and so did. Good luck

I just want to say something a bit extreme here, but it is just these types of discussions that has helped strengthen my opinion that I don't want to be a mother. When we, meaning girls/women, are teenagers, we are so competitive with each other, clawing at each other at every chance. By the time we get to our late 20s, things begin to settle down, our confidence grows as women and we develop strong bonds with each other. Then we start to have babies and it starts all over again. The competition between mothers is astounding! It just seems to me that if you don't have the perfect pram or give your child the healthiest food or god forbid, let your child near a television, you are a horrible parent! I understand that people have very strong opinions about how to raise children and I may never understand it, but why are mothers (very general statement, not necessarily referring to all of the mothers here or on the planet) so quick to shake their head and point their finger at other mothers for doing things differently. Isn't it just good enough to love your children.

Sorry...I know it may have been a bit off topic, but it has been brewing in my mind for a while and I just felt it needed to be said.

sadly I kinda see that  generally occuring among women of all kinds: mothers , single women , married women (newly married women, divorsed women) , young women , older women , nurses , secretaries, etc..unfortunately it's part of human nature  I really don't think it has to do with having children or not having children.

To me this was a good discussion over a necessary subject to me it didn't feel like finger pointing or b*tchiness just maybe folks read more into things than others.

sadly I kinda see that  generally occuring among women of all kinds: mothers , single women , married women (newly married women, divorsed women) , young women , older women , nurses , secretaries, etc..unfortunately it's part of human nature  I really don't think it has to do with having children or not having children.

Ain't that the truth!

I don't think anyone's competing here.  People are showing support for both bottle and breast feeding, and pointing out ways it may be possible for some women to breastfeed - or give their child expressed milk.  It's about finding what works for you as a family.  

Yes, CBeebies has saved my a*(.  So has McDonald's.  I'm not afraid to admit it, either!  

I fed my older daughter jarred food   as well.  But it was all organic, so I felt smugly relieved.  

Oh good god you can't let other people's opinions stop you having kids! There is a certain amount of "competitiveness" but you just have to ignore that and do what is right for you and your child. Among my friends, I find there is very little of that sort of thing, we all support each other in our choices. It is only when I go to certian websites or read particular articles I feel that kind of pressure and those are easy to avoid.

No, I would never ever let other people's opinions stop me from having children. It is one of many reasons why I may not. As a pre-school teacher, I have seen some amazing backstabbing between mothers and their choices. All I am saying that as mothers, what you do is your personal choice and that is what it should be. It is just sad that society, other mothers, nurses, doctors and everyone else feels the need to inject their opinion as soon as you have a baby. Of course women/mothers should turn to their friends, own mothers and people they trust for support, but in the end, isn't it about loving your kids and following your heart. That is all I am saying.

I don't think anyone here is saying any different.