Heartache

So since I've been home Adam's gotten on cam every now and again with his neice and is on for a few mintues then jumps off. Well tonight he gets on all on his lonesome and I'm left there with nothing to take my mind off how much I miss him. Usually Alex (his neice) distracts me and I'm able to get on with it but this time she wasn't there.

I haven't cried since the first few days home. Tonight I was balling and watching him on cam just made my heart ache. I could literally feel this achey feeling in my chest...I can't explain it any better than that. It felt like my heart was really aching for him.

I really don't know how I'm going to do a whole year without seeing him. While he was on cam I told him I wanted to tell him something but I didn't want him to get upset and say "Okie then I won't anymore" and he agreed and I told him seeing him on cam made me sad. I didn't mean it in a horrible way and I didn't want him to take it that way. I just meant it as I miss him so incredibly much that seeing him on cam just makes me sad that I can't be there with him.

I'm sorry...I just need somewhere to vent my frustrations and sadness. I miss him so much. I unpacked my last suitcase today. I did my big one and threw it away a week ago because the airport broke the hard lining in it so all I had left to unpack was the little one. I haven't unpacked the last bit for a reason...it all still smells like him. My mom told me to unpack because they are having a BBQ tomorrow so I gather all the clothes from it and take it to her room and say "THIS is why i didn't wanna clean it out" and made her smell it...almost a month later they still smell like him. She' awww'd

Okie I'm going to stop now...sorry
Ericka

Coming home is always the hardest part.  I know the last time df spent with me, he refused to wear some of his clothes he'd washed at my apartment.  I really am sorry!  I'll hope that an opportunity presents itself so that you can see him in person again before the year is up!  Lots and lots of hugs!   

When I left David for an unknown amount of time I took his can of body spray with me, just so I could have his smell around. I still have the can 12 years later! Its so hard being apart. Before long you will be together...hang in there!

  for you reeeeka.

I understand too...my friend, when we were still an official couple, had to wear one of my t-shirts because all of his were in the wash, so I gave him my favorite shirt from graduate school to wear.  It even went on a long trip with us and he wore it several times.  For the longest while I refused to wash the shirt, and even when the day came that I decided it was time to wash it, the scent didn't leave completely.

I haven't been able to bring myself to wear that shirt or pull it out of the dresser since then.

Maybe ask your boyfriend to send you a worn t-shirt of his?  When you've had enough of it (hehehe, not likely that we can get enough of our loved ones though!    ) and want something different, just send it back to him, and you could do the same and send him something of yours.

*Hugs* When my husband had to go back home after our first week together, he left a blanket he'd had as a child. Was a very sentimental thing, and smelled like him, since he had kept it on his bed. I know, sounds wierd, grown man actually keeping a blanket from his childhood, but it smelled like him nonetheless, and when he left it behind, I slept with it in my arms every night. He also left a shirt behind. I wore it occasionally. lol It was comforting to at least have his smell, so I understand where you're coming from. I hope time flies until you are together with your sweetheart again, and that until then, you two only grow closer at heart. 

Wow, I could never do a year, longest time apart for us was 4 months and that was horrible enough.   Has he been to visit you yet?  Since the pound is so strong against the dollar maybe he could look for a cheap flight?

I really like MissIndigos idea of having him send you t-shirts or something ocassionally.  I had my fiance leave me a set of PJ's (we're the same height) that I wore his smell out of and then when I had to wash it, I held the shirt like a blanket at night.  I also gave him something of mine he could keep in his bed with him.  When I visited, I exchanged the item for a different one with my scent.  My old item now had his scent on it!  And he had a new one of mine!

for you reeeeka.

I understand too...my friend, when we were still an official couple, had to wear one of my t-shirts because all of his were in the wash, so I gave him my favorite shirt from graduate school to wear.  It even went on a long trip with us and he wore it several times.  For the longest while I refused to wash the shirt, and even when the day came that I decided it was time to wash it, the scent didn't leave completely.

I haven't been able to bring myself to wear that shirt or pull it out of the dresser since then.

Maybe ask your boyfriend to send you a worn t-shirt of his?  When you've had enough of it (hehehe, not likely that we can get enough of our loved ones though!    ) and want something different, just send it back to him, and you could do the same and send him something of yours.

Oh yeah we've done that. I have a football shirt of his and some socks that he left here on accident lol which he'll never get back. I asked him the other day just as a joke to send me his spray...i'd spray it all over my bed and pillows *swoons* 

  thanks...sorry the response isn't longer I just woke up.

Wow, I could never do a year, longest time apart for us was 4 months and that was horrible enough.   Has he been to visit you yet?  Since the pound is so strong against the dollar maybe he could look for a cheap flight?

Oh yeah he's been here. He's has no more time off though this year so IF we were to see one another before the year is up it would be me going there. I just can't see myself getting the time off...and I feel really like I have no right to ask them for such a huge favor again in the short amount of time that i've worked there.

Coming home is always the hardest part.  I know the last time df spent with me, he refused to wear some of his clothes he'd washed at my apartment.  I really am sorry!  I'll hope that an opportunity presents itself so that you can see him in person again before the year is up!  Lots and lots of hugs!   

It is very hard. In all honesty I doubt the opertunity will as I feel like I can't ask for the time off again this year. I was talkin to a friend at work and she said when he comes next year I can just go on LOA and they can't ask any questions. If they give me the LOA in May then I'll take it in November when I go see him unless I have another job which I really hope I do.

Thanks alot

When I left David for an unknown amount of time I took his can of body spray with me, just so I could have his smell around. I still have the can 12 years later! Its so hard being apart. Before long you will be together...hang in there!

Aww i'm the same way...I keep everything. I asked him the other day just as a joke to send me his body spray...the more I think about it the more I want it lol. I'd spray it all over my bed and pillows and probably wear it...

*Hugs* When my husband had to go back home after our first week together, he left a blanket he'd had as a child. Was a very sentimental thing, and smelled like him, since he had kept it on his bed. I know, sounds wierd, grown man actually keeping a blanket from his childhood, but it smelled like him nonetheless, and when he left it behind, I slept with it in my arms every night. He also left a shirt behind. I wore it occasionally. lol It was comforting to at least have his smell, so I understand where you're coming from. I hope time flies until you are together with your sweetheart again, and that until then, you two only grow closer at heart. 

It doesn't sound weird at all. I have one of his shirts...but i've had it for years so it doesn't smell like him anymore lol. I'm gonna snatch something when he comes back lol. I might even snatch his body spray haha ...JK!

I hope time flies by also...I miss him so much 

I really like MissIndigos idea of having him send you t-shirts or something ocassionally.  I had my fiance leave me a set of PJ's (we're the same height) that I wore his smell out of and then when I had to wash it, I held the shirt like a blanket at night.  I also gave him something of mine he could keep in his bed with him.  When I visited, I exchanged the item for a different one with my scent.  My old item now had his scent on it!  And he had a new one of mine!

I'm sending him a package soon...I didn't have the money when I first got home so I'm going to send him some things. I'm gonna see if he'll send me a box with a shirt or something and a bottle of his body spray lol...it's very comforting...

Awww, Ericka, that has to be so hard but you've seen him recently so at least you still have that and hopefully you will get to see him before a year.  At least he's there for you and you know he loves you.  I hope the time flies by fast til you see each other again.

Awww, Ericka, that has to be so hard but you've seen him recently so at least you still have that and hopefully you will get to see him before a year.  At least he's there for you and you know he loves you.  I hope the time flies by fast til you see each other again.

Thanks kim! I hope time flies by. I guess I'm lucky, some people don't have cams and can't see one another when they arn't together so I shouldn't be whining lol.

Everyones excited about him coming next year...my family and friends and co-workers...especially my co-workers as they haven't ever met him before.