I watch too many romantic movies!

Back in the US. Tim's sister is calling this my "holiday to America". 

The trip to the airport was uneventful, until that stupid "everytime you go away" song started playing on BBC2.  I shut off the radio and just lost it in the car. 

We got to the airport with plenty of time,and when we checked in my bags, the guy told me I didn't need to get to the gate until a half hour before boarding. Since that was almost 2 hours away, we headed to the Costa to just enjoy each other's company for a little while longer....and we talked.

Talked about how it would be so easy to walk back out the doors of Heathrow and go back to Lincoln together but how we *have* to play everything by the books, since we're aiming for keeps. Talked about getting married,and how Tim wanted to propose to me but didn't want to do it just for the sake of me getting a visa, but that he was pretty sure it's what he wants...

...and then I got back to the US, and talked to Tim for a bit.  He hates his house alone now, he misses me like crazy, and he cried when he got home.  

Me? I'm just as miserable, paired with still having my body on BST and barely gettin any sleep since Sunday night in Tim's arms.  *sigh*

100 days until he gets here. We can do it!

*big hugs*

That sounds almost exactly how my situation went. When we were driving through the dark to Birmingham, 'Run' by Snow Patrol came on the radio, I seriously wanted to throw myself out of the car--it was some sort of cosmic humor, or something, but it sucked 

We also did the whole 'sitting around, miserable' bit kinda, since I had a couple hours before I had to go through security. I just kept crying, and Steve was pretty strong, and kept reminding me of when he'd come to visit, and how we had to do this properly, etc etc. It seems so attractive at times to just run back out the doors and go home

Steve did the crying bit at the last second though, when I started to go through security--I haven't seen him cry that hard I just wanted to hold onto his hand so bad, but I knew I had to go or else I never would, and standing there was only making it harder for the both of us. Later he told me he cried so hard he got lost getting back to the car park, and he was lost for the first few days I was gone. I think he went through what Tim's going through right now--having someone in your house for months, and then it's just gone, and then you realize just what you're missing, and what you had.

The sleeping issue is the biggest hurdle for me, because it makes me feel horrible when I really do need to sleep things off, so I know that feeling--you want to sleep on a normal schedule, but the bed feels way too big, and yeah

But I am glad you got home safely, and just keep in mind that if you two have gotten this far, 100 days won't be much once you adjust to life in the US and get back on a regular schedule If you need anyone to talk to about it, I'm usually around online a lot, though sometimes I can a bit of a downer *looks at my post*, but sometimes being able to talk to people in the same situation can help.

I could still see Tim as I headed into security, and I walked over to the barrier to kiss him again and he told me to go before he started to cry in the airport.

His sister sent me the following text yesterday:

"darkness falls upon the village of Dunholme as one of our newest residents goes on holiday to America for a whole year. Hurry back!"

And then his Mum sent:

"we love you! see you soon!"

and the night before I left when we were all together, Tim's brother and his gf gave me a bottle of wine and flowers (that I had to leave behind)...

I texted his brother to see if he'd do something with Tim last night, and he wrote me back that he was going to invite Tim to watch the footie match with him and their dad (and tim did)....his family is so supportive to both of us, it's incredible.

I could still see Tim as I headed into security, and I walked over to the barrier to kiss him again and he told me to go before he started to cry in the airport.

His sister sent me the following text yesterday:

"darkness falls upon the village of Dunholme as one of our newest residents goes on holiday to America for a whole year. Hurry back!"

And then his Mum sent:

"we love you! see you soon!"

and the night before I left when we were all together, Tim's brother and his gf gave me a bottle of wine and flowers (that I had to leave behind)...

I texted his brother to see if he'd do something with Tim last night, and he wrote me back that he was going to invite Tim to watch the footie match with him and their dad (and tim did)....his family is so supportive to both of us, it's incredible.

Having a cool family like that definitely helps--my future MIL asked me if the next time I came over would be on holiday, or for good, and I told her for good so they're looking forward to it, and they're excited about Steve getting married again, so it's all good.

And it's good that Tim has a supportive family that can be there with him and keep him occupied until you both adjust back to 'normal' life, and it's a good mindset to think about this period of time being your 'holiday in America'. I was happy because a week or so after I left, Steve went to his annual roleplaying convention in Bournemouth with his mates, so they kept him company with beer and D&D and stuff

I guess all we can do now it's wait, and enjoy our time in the US, and indulge in all the creature comforts the US has to offer, and look forward to later this spring/early summer. One of these days all the tears cried at security will be in the past, that's the dream I kinda hang onto when I get sad and down about things

Back in the US. Tim's sister is calling this my "holiday to America". 

The trip to the airport was uneventful, until that stupid "everytime you go away" song started playing on BBC2.  I shut off the radio and just lost it in the car. 

We got to the airport with plenty of time,and when we checked in my bags, the guy told me I didn't need to get to the gate until a half hour before boarding. Since that was almost 2 hours away, we headed to the Costa to just enjoy each other's company for a little while longer....and we talked.

Talked about how it would be so easy to walk back out the doors of Heathrow and go back to Lincoln together but how we *have* to play everything by the books, since we're aiming for keeps. Talked about getting married,and how Tim wanted to propose to me but didn't want to do it just for the sake of me getting a visa, but that he was pretty sure it's what he wants...

...and then I got back to the US, and talked to Tim for a bit.  He hates his house alone now, he misses me like crazy, and he cried when he got home.  

Me? I'm just as miserable, paired with still having my body on BST and barely gettin any sleep since Sunday night in Tim's arms.  *sigh*

100 days until he gets here. We can do it!

*hugs* Glad you're back safe.

I just pictured myself in your shoes, while reading that and felt like it was all happening to me! 

If you're anything like me when I get back, the next week is the toughest...hang in there.  Soon you will be together again. 

I can't imagine how hard it would be to leave DF after being with him for a considerable amount of time...it's hard enough to leave him on my 4 day visits.  I don't usually cry ...I did at first, but then after doing it several times a year, I either got used to it or didn't want to see him cry.  Can't figure out which one. 

Try to get some rest...I'm sure you're exhausted.

I just pictured myself in your shoes, while reading that and felt like it was all happening to me! 

Yeah, I got a bit teary-eyed when I read it, it sounded so familiar in a way and it reminded me of back in January when I left

It is hard after a couple months, because you've gotten so used to being together week-in, week-out; you plan weekends together as a couple, you get into the routine of settling down at night after the boyfriend/fiance gets home from work, and it feels 'right', but then you have to remind yourself it's all temporary 

Yeah, I got a bit teary-eyed when I read it, it sounded so familiar in a way and it reminded me of back in January when I left

It is hard after a couple months, because you've gotten so used to being together week-in, week-out; you plan weekends together as a couple, you get into the routine of settling down at night after the boyfriend/fiance gets home from work, and it feels 'right', but then you have to remind yourself it's all temporary 

I can only imagine...the longest DF and I have been physically together is 10 days, when I went there and he came here on business.  That was hard enough. 

My daughter stays with my parents while I travel to visit DF in the UK.  Knowing I have her to go back to makes it easier.  That may be why I don't cry.  It's like I'm torn between missing the 2 people I love.

*hugs* Glad you're back safe.

I just pictured myself in your shoes, while reading that and felt like it was all happening to me! 

If you're anything like me when I get back, the next week is the toughest...hang in there.  Soon you will be together again. 

I can't imagine how hard it would be to leave DF after being with him for a considerable amount of time...it's hard enough to leave him on my 4 day visits.  I don't usually cry ...I did at first, but then after doing it several times a year, I either got used to it or didn't want to see him cry.  Can't figure out which one. 

Try to get some rest...I'm sure you're exhausted.

I spent today CLEANING my bedroom at my mom's.  I have FIVE 30 gallon garbage bags full of clothing to donate since I used the 6 month rule and tossed everything except for what fit into a laundry basket other than what I brought back from the UK and what my mom bought me for Christmas.  That's how much I'm not adjusting. I also re-arranged the furniture in my room by myself.  Yeah. I need something to do! LOL.

I'm so sorry, Becca.  Most of us have been there, and no matter how many times you go through it, it never gets easier.  And sometimes it seems like the longer you spend together, the worst it is when you have to go separate ways again.

You're right though, 100 days is TOTALLY do-able. 

Best of luck getting re-adjusted.  I know it doesn't come easily.  My most un-favorite part of the whole thing is landing back in America and just realizing how DIFFERENT everyone is.  And eventually you start to feel like an outsider in your own country.  You start to think "why are these people so LOUD?!" 

I'm so sorry, Becca.  Most of us have been there, and no matter how many times you go through it, it never gets easier.  And sometimes it seems like the longer you spend together, the worst it is when you have to go separate ways again.

You're right though, 100 days is TOTALLY do-able. 

Best of luck getting re-adjusted.  I know it doesn't come easily.  My most un-favorite part of the whole thing is landing back in America and just realizing how DIFFERENT everyone is.  And eventually you start to feel like an outsider in your own country.  You start to think "why are these people so LOUD?!" 

LOL!

I fell asleep on the drive from Dulles to Lancaster (via Gettysburg), but my mom borrowed GPS from a co-worker, so everytime it gave new directions, I jolted awake...and freaked out when we were in those stupid roundabouts between Gettysburg and York because we were going "backwards" in the roundabout!

HAHA! I know exactly where you're talking about, too.  That is too funny.  I actually don't think I could take a roundabout in the states.  I've only ever been through them in NI. haha

ETA: I don't know if you know where this is.  But between Dulles and Gettysburg (close to Mt. St. Mary's College), there's a restaurant called the Shamrock Restaurant.  My dad thought it'd be nice last summer for us to stop there for dinner on the way home.  As soon as they gave me my "fish and chips" and I realized they were fries, not chips, I just totally lost it.  It was so strange sitting in a restaurant that was trying to pawn off an imitation of the real thing less than a day after I had been eating the real thing. 

I do know where that is!

Hey, when will you be back in PA? I think we're kind of close to each other...we should get together

Oh, and I almost got into the driver's side of the car! LOL. 

I can only imagine...the longest DF and I have been physically together is 10 days, when I went there and he came here on business.  That was hard enough. 

My daughter stays with my parents while I travel to visit DF in the UK.  Knowing I have her to go back to makes it easier.  That may be why I don't cry.  It's like I'm torn between missing the 2 people I love.

Yeah, even a couple weeks can be hard--that's usually what my fiance visits for, since he has a job he has to get back to. And he has his kids stay with their mum, so I think he's like you--he wants to have me *and* the kids, so he's of two minds on where he wants to be (plus he likes the US, but can't move here just yet because of his kids). He misses them loads, but we get on MSN when he's visiting and he'll chat with them a bit, and he always makes sure to buy them a pressie

ETA: I don't know if you know where this is.  But between Dulles and Gettysburg (close to Mt. St. Mary's College), there's a restaurant called the Shamrock Restaurant.  My dad thought it'd be nice last summer for us to stop there for dinner on the way home.  As soon as they gave me my "fish and chips" and I realized they were fries, not chips, I just totally lost it.  It was so strange sitting in a restaurant that was trying to pawn off an imitation of the real thing less than a day after I had been eating the real thing. 

Urgh, this. I ordered fish and chips here in Oregon, and they cut the fish up into tiny strips, and had really skinny fries with some coleslaw--a far cry from a huge hunk of fish and loads of chips wrapped up in paper *is hungry all of a sudden*

Oh, and I almost got into the driver's side of the car! LOL. 

Steve's son did this when they visited back in 2007--he went around to the driver's side of the car, and got laughed at when he had to be directed to the other side

Tim made me cry today when he told me he didn't like washing my tea mug because it felt like he was washing me away.

But then we were talking some more about marriage and me being there and have decided that while me staying at home and being the housewife might not make any money, it's worthwhile in it's own right, and it contributes to the overall well-being of the house .  I love him more and more every day. Not because I don't want to work, but because he's giving me the option to not work.  I think I probably will work until we decide to start a family.

Tim made me cry today when he told me he didn't like washing my tea mug because it felt like he was washing me away.

But then we were talking some more about marriage and me being there and have decided that while me staying at home and being the housewife might not make any money, it's worthwhile in it's own right, and it contributes to the overall well-being of the house .  I love him more and more every day. Not because I don't want to work, but because he's giving me the option to not work.  I think I probably will work until we decide to start a family.

Steve says that my coffee mug is clean and in the cupboard, waiting for me, along with my set of house keys--I think sometimes he makes him feel bad to have those reminders around the house, little things like tea mugs mean a lot like that

It sounds like we're in roughly the same situations--Steve makes enough to support five people on (he used to when he was married, and his ex-wife stayed at home), so it's not like I need to go to work to pay the rent or the bills. I know that can change, especially nowadays, but his job is pretty good like Tim's is (it sounds like, anyway), so it's not a *huge* deal if it takes me 6 months, or even a year to find something. Like Steve told me, he knows it'll be difficult for me to find a job (my luck has been kinda shoddy over here, let alone in the UK), and any money I would bring in would be holiday money or somesuch

My big ultimate plan though is to hopefully get into nursing school once I have a more permanent place in the UK. Once I can get ILR or citizenship sorted, and wait through the lines to actually *get* into nursing school, it'll really help the house out, and Steve might even be able to go part-time at DHL. But that's a lot way off, and it's really hard to get into, and I don't know how successful I'll be breaking into NHS employment, so we'll see

And I think in some small way, Steve wouldn't mind if we had a family of our own; he has three kids already, but I don't think he's burnt out just yet They're starting to get older, and he only sees the other two for a few minutes each day and on the weekends, so he's told me he expects me to want kids someday soon--and I do. I just don't want to drag him into it at 40 or whatever, but I think we can have one kid together at least; maybe wait a couple years till I'm on ILR (or whatever will replace it) and hopefully by then we'll have a bigger place, yadda yadda yadda.

Now I'm turning this into my LJ, my bad 

LOL I'm on LJ too. We should add each other   i'm annaonthemoon

*nods* Tim works for Network Rail as a relief signalman. He's a grade 5, which is the highest grade available in Lincolnshire.  He loves his job, and trains are his hobby, too. 

hehe I took my house key home with me so I'd have something to look at on my keychain .  But yeah, I told Tim practically what Steve said to you!  I told him it was okay, that now it'll be waiting for me .

Tim hates the little reminders, too, and then he tells me about it, I cry because I'm a sap, and Tim comforts me and then tells me it makes him feel better when he can comfort me instead of him being upset. 

I think we're in the same situation on the job front too. I'm so glad Tim makes enough for whichever visa we go for because I literally live on the bare minimum and I think have maybe $12 in savings. Thank god for living with parents, eh?