Worse Than An IA

I've just been laid off from my job.  Merry Christmas.  Here's the story,

the Acting CEO who is leaving for a high paying job with a technology giant at the end of the month wanted to leave on a high with a positive achievement for her career by reducing the employee headcount across the company and putting the FY2018 budget in the black. 

I was selected because my performance evaluation scores from last year were the lowest in my department (3.x out of 5, I had only been employed for three months when evaluated). Apparently my supervisors tried to get me reassigned internally but since cuts were being made across the board, other managers couldn't help.

It might put a dent in my UK plans.  Leaving the building yesterday, the first person I saw was the Acting CEO chatting on the phone.    

I've just been laid off from my job.  Merry Christmas.  Here's the story,

the Acting CEO who is leaving for a high paying job with a technology giant at the end of the month wanted to leave on a high with a positive achievement for her career by reducing the employee headcount across the company and putting the FY2018 budget in the black. 

I was selected because my performance evaluation scores from last year were the lowest in my department (3.x out of 5, I had only been employed for three months when evaluated). Apparently my supervisors tried to get me reassigned internally but since cuts were being made across the board, other managers couldn't help.

It might put a dent in my UK plans.  Leaving the building yesterday, the first person I saw was the Acting CEO chatting on the phone.   

I'm so sorry to hear that at Xmas. Our generation seems to be bearing the brunt of 'cost savings measures' with multiple layoffs in most careers.

Silver lining - Maybe it could speed up the UK plans if you find a job there?

Sent from my Nexus 5X using Tapatalk

I've just been laid off from my job.  Merry Christmas.  Here's the story,

the Acting CEO who is leaving for a high paying job with a technology giant at the end of the month wanted to leave on a high with a positive achievement for her career by reducing the employee headcount across the company and putting the FY2018 budget in the black. 

I was selected because my performance evaluation scores from last year were the lowest in my department (3.x out of 5, I had only been employed for three months when evaluated). Apparently my supervisors tried to get me reassigned internally but since cuts were being made across the board, other managers couldn't help.

It might put a dent in my UK plans.  Leaving the building yesterday, the first person I saw was the Acting CEO chatting on the phone.   

That really sucks, BlackAck.

Margo's got a good point - could this change your plans and get you to the UK sooner?

I'm really sorry BlackAck. That would be lousy at any time of year. 

I am so sorry.  My company in the UK laid off 300 people the week before Christmas last year.  It just seems particularly harsh this time of year!

I'm really sorry BlackAck.

That really sucks... what a rude thing to do just before Christmas.  I understand cost-saving measures to benefit the company as a whole, but maybe give a little warning, and don't do it a week before Christmas!  I'm sorry, BlackAcK. 

(I keep wanting to call you BlackAcre...)

Me too!

So effing ticked off right now. 

Because I was just caught out by this.

In case you didn't know, if you have a joint account with your spouse and one of you updates your account information, this will not change for both of you. Each of you need to change your registered address.

If you don't, you'll be like me without being able to have a new debit card sent to you because your "registered address" is your previous one and the ATM ate your card for unknown reasons.

So effing ticked off right now. 

Because I was just caught out by this.

In case you didn't know, if you have a joint account with your spouse and one of you updates your account information, this will not change for both of you. Each of you need to change your registered address.

If you don't, you'll be like me without being able to have a new debit card sent to you because your "registered address" is your previous one and the ATM ate your card for unknown reasons.

Wow can you go to a branch and have them make the correction? I'm sorry you have to go through that!

Sent from my Nexus 5X using Tapatalk

Wow can you go to a branch and have them make the correction? I'm sorry you have to go through that!

Sent from my Nexus 5X using Tapatalk

I have to do that, but I can't until Saturday as I'm traveling or at work from 7am to 7pm.

I am having a sh*t weekend. This is long and full of annoyance.

Friday I had to drive down to hampshire by myself... probably got a speeding ticket from a variable traffic camera because I was an idiot. Told husband and told him I wasn't going to tell him because I didn't want to hear about it all the time or him to get annoyed. |He didn't say anything initially and was nice about it, but then starts giving me sh*t for it less than 45 minutes later! I told him to stop as I didn't need that sh*t, I had already been stressed enough since I'm a new driver. 'Good thing I'm doing overtime tomorrow... it will help pay for your ticket.' F*ck you. I am earning more than him right now anyway. I went from 16k to 27k in the last 3 years.

ARGH. and my damn keyboard is now on American when it's UK ENGLISH! I HATE MICROSOFT.

The electric shower has started sounding like an electric kettle and the water pressure is fluctuating wildly, and going from cold to scalding hot. (Husband thinks nothing is wrong... he only takes baths and I want to kick him.)

Felt like butt yesterday as I had a migraine and my body is sore from driving 6 hours in a manual car.

One of the plastic paddles in the washing machine's drum broke off today. No laundry for me until it's fixed. It does need to be screwed into place or the crappy plastic tabs will just break off again quickly. (My lovely husband tends to overload the washing machine... but you know, he knows better than I do...)

Oh, and I am royally peeved that I always have to be the one who handles groceries, like he's sitting in his room on his ass playing a video game or reading a website while a youtube or netflix show is playing but he can't start an effing online grocery order?! Yes, he has invisible illnesses, but if you can play frickin video games you can spend 20 minutes ordering online groceries. And on top of it, I also had to put everything away myself, for the second time in a week.

What the frigging hell does he even do for our house? He goes to work, comes home, feeds the dogs dinner, and once a week (minimum) cooks dinner and he does sometimes do dishes. He leaves his damn cereal bowls with some milk in them all over the effing house, same with his tea mugs, complains at me for leaving empty pepsi cans on the coffee table and for having clean clothes on the kitchen table (which we don't use, like at all, but we had to have it...)

I'm the one who washes the bedclothes, the towels, my clothes (and some of his if I have room and not to waste the space), the dog blankets, the dish towels, walks the dogs every day for 30 minutes+, cleans up dog poop, takes the bins out and back 90% of the time, takes the recycling out 90% of the time. Any time I try to talk about this sh*t he just throws it back in my face that HE had to drive me to work or pick me up from work for years and how often he had to wait in the car for me after work.

ARGH. I don't effing get it.

I am having a sh*t weekend. This is long and full of annoyance.

Friday I had to drive down to hampshire by myself... probably got a speeding ticket from a variable traffic camera because I was an idiot. Told husband and told him I wasn't going to tell him because I didn't want to hear about it all the time or him to get annoyed. |He didn't say anything initially and was nice about it, but then starts giving me sh*t for it less than 45 minutes later! I told him to stop as I didn't need that sh*t, I had already been stressed enough since I'm a new driver. 'Good thing I'm doing overtime tomorrow... it will help pay for your ticket.' F*ck you. I am earning more than him right now anyway. I went from 16k to 27k in the last 3 years.

ARGH. and my damn keyboard is now on American when it's UK ENGLISH! I HATE MICROSOFT.

The electric shower has started sounding like an electric kettle and the water pressure is fluctuating wildly, and going from cold to scalding hot. (Husband thinks nothing is wrong... he only takes baths and I want to kick him.)

Felt like butt yesterday as I had a migraine and my body is sore from driving 6 hours in a manual car.

One of the plastic paddles in the washing machine's drum broke off today. No laundry for me until it's fixed. It does need to be screwed into place or the crappy plastic tabs will just break off again quickly. (My lovely husband tends to overload the washing machine... but you know, he knows better than I do...)

Oh, and I am royally peeved that I always have to be the one who handles groceries, like he's sitting in his room on his ass playing a video game or reading a website while a youtube or netflix show is playing but he can't start an effing online grocery order?! Yes, he has invisible illnesses, but if you can play frickin video games you can spend 20 minutes ordering online groceries. And on top of it, I also had to put everything away myself, for the second time in a week.

What the frigging hell does he even do for our house? He goes to work, comes home, feeds the dogs dinner, and once a week (minimum) cooks dinner and he does sometimes do dishes. He leaves his damn cereal bowls with some milk in them all over the effing house, same with his tea mugs, complains at me for leaving empty pepsi cans on the coffee table and for having clean clothes on the kitchen table (which we don't use, like at all, but we had to have it...)

I'm the one who washes the bedclothes, the towels, my clothes (and some of his if I have room and not to waste the space), the dog blankets, the dish towels, walks the dogs every day for 30 minutes+, cleans up dog poop, takes the bins out and back 90% of the time, takes the recycling out 90% of the time. Any time I try to talk about this sh*t he just throws it back in my face that HE had to drive me to work or pick me up from work for years and how often he had to wait in the car for me after work.

ARGH. I don't effing get it.

If you can afford it do the following, not in this order:
1. Hire a dog-walker.
2. Hire a cleaner.
3. Go on a holiday.

I am having a sh*t weekend. This is long and full of annoyance.

Friday I had to drive down to hampshire by myself... probably got a speeding ticket from a variable traffic camera because I was an idiot. Told husband and told him I wasn't going to tell him because I didn't want to hear about it all the time or him to get annoyed. |He didn't say anything initially and was nice about it, but then starts giving me sh*t for it less than 45 minutes later! I told him to stop as I didn't need that sh*t, I had already been stressed enough since I'm a new driver. 'Good thing I'm doing overtime tomorrow... it will help pay for your ticket.' F*ck you. I am earning more than him right now anyway. I went from 16k to 27k in the last 3 years.

ARGH. and my damn keyboard is now on American when it's UK ENGLISH! I HATE MICROSOFT.

The electric shower has started sounding like an electric kettle and the water pressure is fluctuating wildly, and going from cold to scalding hot. (Husband thinks nothing is wrong... he only takes baths and I want to kick him.)

Felt like butt yesterday as I had a migraine and my body is sore from driving 6 hours in a manual car.

One of the plastic paddles in the washing machine's drum broke off today. No laundry for me until it's fixed. It does need to be screwed into place or the crappy plastic tabs will just break off again quickly. (My lovely husband tends to overload the washing machine... but you know, he knows better than I do...)

Oh, and I am royally peeved that I always have to be the one who handles groceries, like he's sitting in his room on his ass playing a video game or reading a website while a youtube or netflix show is playing but he can't start an effing online grocery order?! Yes, he has invisible illnesses, but if you can play frickin video games you can spend 20 minutes ordering online groceries. And on top of it, I also had to put everything away myself, for the second time in a week.

What the frigging hell does he even do for our house? He goes to work, comes home, feeds the dogs dinner, and once a week (minimum) cooks dinner and he does sometimes do dishes. He leaves his damn cereal bowls with some milk in them all over the effing house, same with his tea mugs, complains at me for leaving empty pepsi cans on the coffee table and for having clean clothes on the kitchen table (which we don't use, like at all, but we had to have it...)

I'm the one who washes the bedclothes, the towels, my clothes (and some of his if I have room and not to waste the space), the dog blankets, the dish towels, walks the dogs every day for 30 minutes+, cleans up dog poop, takes the bins out and back 90% of the time, takes the recycling out 90% of the time. Any time I try to talk about this sh*t he just throws it back in my face that HE had to drive me to work or pick me up from work for years and how often he had to wait in the car for me after work.

ARGH. I don't effing get it.

I am sorry to hear you're having a difficult time.  So wish we could have met up for coffee / drink of your choice on Friday!

The lack of help around the house would (and does) irritate me to no end - though I can't really point fingers because there have been many times where I just couldn't be effed getting up off the couch, much less doing chores.  Dave is pretty good about helping with housework on the weekends, we divide the jobs up fairly evenly I think.  But I'm of the opinion that if we spent a few minutes more each night doing a bit of a tidy up, we wouldn't be blowing half our weekends cleaning.  That sentiment tends to fall on deaf ears.  I can't even count the number of times I've said, "Let's wash our dishes immediately after dinner." And he does it for a while, and so do I, and then he stops and I find myself going on strike because I'm like, "If he can't be bothered, why do I?'

I always just threaten to point him toward this article (https://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/9055288).  It's not about who does what, or why, or how, or when... It's about teamwork and keeping each other happy.

Hope things clear up for you soon!

Sent from my SM-G955F using Tapatalk

I am having a sh*t weekend. This is long and full of annoyance.

Friday I had to drive down to hampshire by myself... probably got a speeding ticket from a variable traffic camera because I was an idiot. Told husband and told him I wasn't going to tell him because I didn't want to hear about it all the time or him to get annoyed. |He didn't say anything initially and was nice about it, but then starts giving me sh*t for it less than 45 minutes later! I told him to stop as I didn't need that sh*t, I had already been stressed enough since I'm a new driver. 'Good thing I'm doing overtime tomorrow... it will help pay for your ticket.' F*ck you. I am earning more than him right now anyway. I went from 16k to 27k in the last 3 years.

ARGH. and my damn keyboard is now on American when it's UK ENGLISH! I HATE MICROSOFT.

The electric shower has started sounding like an electric kettle and the water pressure is fluctuating wildly, and going from cold to scalding hot. (Husband thinks nothing is wrong... he only takes baths and I want to kick him.)

Felt like butt yesterday as I had a migraine and my body is sore from driving 6 hours in a manual car.

One of the plastic paddles in the washing machine's drum broke off today. No laundry for me until it's fixed. It does need to be screwed into place or the crappy plastic tabs will just break off again quickly. (My lovely husband tends to overload the washing machine... but you know, he knows better than I do...)

Oh, and I am royally peeved that I always have to be the one who handles groceries, like he's sitting in his room on his ass playing a video game or reading a website while a youtube or netflix show is playing but he can't start an effing online grocery order?! Yes, he has invisible illnesses, but if you can play frickin video games you can spend 20 minutes ordering online groceries. And on top of it, I also had to put everything away myself, for the second time in a week.

What the frigging hell does he even do for our house? He goes to work, comes home, feeds the dogs dinner, and once a week (minimum) cooks dinner and he does sometimes do dishes. He leaves his damn cereal bowls with some milk in them all over the effing house, same with his tea mugs, complains at me for leaving empty pepsi cans on the coffee table and for having clean clothes on the kitchen table (which we don't use, like at all, but we had to have it...)

I'm the one who washes the bedclothes, the towels, my clothes (and some of his if I have room and not to waste the space), the dog blankets, the dish towels, walks the dogs every day for 30 minutes+, cleans up dog poop, takes the bins out and back 90% of the time, takes the recycling out 90% of the time. Any time I try to talk about this sh*t he just throws it back in my face that HE had to drive me to work or pick me up from work for years and how often he had to wait in the car for me after work.

ARGH. I don't effing get it.

Wish we could've met up Friday (though you probably wouldn't have wanted to deal with my hacking my lungs out) but, annoyingly, I drove by Eastleigh saturday on my way to the New Forest and thought of you!

I've dealt with my husband making comments when I reaaaaalllllyyy don't need them as well and it's frustrating. I don't earn more than my husband or anything, but sometimes I feel he doesn't give me enough credit from how far I've had to come since starting in a brand new country 5 years ago. He always wants me to keep developing my career and earning more and I have to tell him how much progress I've made over the last few years so I think the fact you've managed to bump up your salary that much in 3 years is something you should be incredibly proud of! My husband earns about double what I do and will make comments about how *he* paid for this or *he* paid for that as he can't afford to put it on the joint account as there's not enough in there (and he doesn't ask me for the money) and it's so frustrating because it just makes me feel like sh*t and like I'm not busting my ass off enough. It must be even more irritating for you when he makes comments about paying for something like an accidental speeding ticket that you're already stressed about, especially because you're earning more!

Agree that it's not about who does what and when, it's about acting like a team and it seems like he might be taking for granted how much you actually do around the household and not making you feel like he appreciates it (even if he does, he's doesn't seem to be showing that to you outwardly).

Could you set times for him to do the online shopping with you? Like you both sit down together to put the order through? Or perhaps, if you're responsible for ordering the groceries, could he jot down the stuff that he thinks you need to buy? I know you mention he has an invisible illness, but should he be okay to put away the groceries? If so, perhaps you do the ordering of the groceries and he puts the groceries away? And you do the laundry but he's responsible for folding it/putting it away?

It just seems more like he needs to be better at being a team player. I think it doesn't help that you're having a sh*t day and then have to feel underappreciated. Hopefully a discussion between you guys of re-distributing responsibilities based on what he can/can't do and what you are/aren't willing to do anymore will help resolve this. If I were in your position, I would probably just flat out say "I don't *feel* like you're appreciating what I do around the house or what I bring to the table financially. You might understand it and feel like you do appreciate things I do, but I don't actually feel it...and berating me for a speeding ticket that I was already upset about after a long day really did not help." and maybe offer up ways it could've been handled differently/better  for you and see what he says.

Sending hugs.