The official UKY inlaw venting thread

Wow, your FMIL has a huge problem with boundries if she thinks it's a-ok to say that to her son. I hope he told her to stuff it.

Agreed! How dare she say that?

My not-yet-inlaws, mil lovely as lovely can be, fil (divorced) drank cans of beer whilst driving my very sick DB home. oh the RAGE when I found out.

My future ILs are nice enough--they invited me over for Sunday roast when I was visiting, and my MIL and SIL took me up to Milton Keynes one day to do shopping while my fiance was working. But, with that said...

When my MIL has a little bit of wine, she sometimes says things she doesn't really mean to say, I think. I dunno if she really believes the things she says, but it embarrasses my fiance to no end.

Like, the night she had a couple glasses of wine, and she mentioned that my fiance was fat--I really don't think so, at 5'10' and 170 lbs or so, and I think that made him feel a bit uncomfortable. And it just puts me off a little since I don't know whether or laugh along, or what, since I know she's drunk, but she doesn't realize it 

And she's *extremely* proper at times, and I'm a bit more casual, so I can imagine her saying things but not to my face. And I know the things she says about my fiance's ex-wife, so I can only imagine over time what she'll be able to say about me And I don't iron my knickers, and she was shocked when she found out neither I nor my fiance do, so she prolly thinks we're slobs.

And she's *extremely* proper at times, and I'm a bit more casual, so I can imagine her saying things but not to my face. And I know the things she says about my fiance's ex-wife, so I can only imagine over time what she'll be able to say about me And I don't iron my knickers, and she was shocked when she found out neither I nor my fiance do, so she prolly thinks we're slobs.

Who irons their undies??! I have a million other things to be doing other than worrying about if my undies have wrinkles. My ex-aunt use to send her undies, pjs, gym clothes, everything  to the dry cleaner's. 

I have some issues with my future inlaws. I've posted about them before, but don't have time to go into it to it now.

Aw, my in laws are lovely! Mainly because they live quite far away! But really, they are lovely people. No complaints from me.

Well, I like to vent about how nice my in laws are, sometimes I rant about their loveliness also...its all a state of mind! Glass half empty vs half full.

lol.

I have to say I have great in laws as well I'm glad I wont be the only one saying nice stuff about there in laws. I am just grateful I don't have a MIL like Marie on Everybody Loves Raymond.       I do have to say I do have issues with my BIL but he isnt as bad as he used to be thankfully.   

My husband's mum is fine. She is very reserved so I don't think we'll ever have a close relationship, but it is perfectly amiable!

His older sister on the other hand, frustrates me to no end. She is incredibly irresponsible, and I hate to say it, but quite chavvy. She's 34ish and has only had one job in her entire life, working at a factory when she was a teen. She's had 2 kids, and she freely admits to 'faking' post partem depression after their births so she could claim disability. She isn't married but has been with her boyfriend for several years. They are completely irresponsible, keeping the kids up (aged 4 & 8 ) until 4am while they party and drink. They had their house repossessed because they don't know how to manage their money. The kids have new mobiles every month, as well as an unbelievable amount of toys and electronics. They don't have the necessary credit to buy everything so they bully his mum into putting things on her credit card or opening up store credit lines so they get things. For example, a few months ago their TV stopped working, so his mum offered them her old one, a perfectly fine 37" but they decided it wasn't good enough and had her take out store credit to get them a 52" flat screen  Anyway, their irresponsiblity is annoying but what really frustrates me is that last Christmas she insisted on buying my husband's mum a new LCD TV, even though she didn't really need it. But of course, she couldn't afford it so my husband put it on his card and she was going to give him money. She never did, and my husband being a typical reserved Englishman would dare not ask for it. It really annoys me to know she owes us money yet every time I see her she's bragging about a new Wii or mobile or car or an outrageous amount spent on a night out. 

My first MIL was a nasty, evil excuse for a human.  Within 24 hours of meeting me, it was clear she didn't like me.  Not only did she not pick me for her son, I was of the wrong faith.   The first time we talked, she asked my now ex-DH, "How is Marla? I don't hear from her anymore.  What's she doing these days?"  Marla was his former DF, who dumped him when he went overseas on military duty.  She asked these things in front of me. 

When I said something about some abdominal pains, she said, "Are you sure you're not pregnant?"  As if it was the only reason she could think of for him to marry me.  Turns out that I had a hernia.

My last contact with those in-laws was when FIL called me to ask if I thought the divorce was the right thing to do by DH.  I hung up the phone, and never had anything else to do with them.  Moving across the country reinforced that. 

MIL #2 is a pretty nice woman.  We have to dance around the topic of her son, because she (naturally) sees him differently than I do.  He's never done anything wrong, and every bad thing in his life was due to something else---not his own choices.  Her enabling of both her children has got to be her worst flaw, and it drives me up a wall.  Other than that, she's a nice woman.

Wow, how kind of you all with wonderful in-laws to rub it in our faces.  Really, it's heartwarming.

I could go on and on about my MIL.  She's awful.  She's an elitist.  She's a not-so-closeted racist.  She's the most self-absorbed person I've ever met.  I've been with my husband for 19 years (married for twelve), and to this day she's never forgiven me for not being the girl she wanted her son to marry.

I'll leave it at that.  If I type too much more it'll just pi** me off.

My MIL and FIL are both lovely people... and thank god for that because they live SO close!!!!! At the same time they don't ever just drop by without calling first, so that's a relief too. It's my friggin SIL I can't stand! She's so selfish, stubborn and cheap! Also she tried to break up my DH and I when we were long distance dating before and set him up with some other girl. She thought it wasn't a real relationship because he was in England and I was in America! That little witch!!!!! There was drama which to this day she never apologized for.

mine suck totally and completely.  I've been in the UK 4 years have seen MIL once accidentally- she didn't know I was home and FIL a handful of times when he came over to help w/ some DIY. They have never and do not ever want to meet my daughter(their one and only grandchild-hubs is an only child).  They suck!! When I think of my parents back in MA who love my daughter and are so sad they can't see her more often and then I think of them... well lets just say I think some very very mean and nasty things.

edited to add:
bastards!!

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Off-topic comments have been removed.

This is a venting topic.  Anyone not wishing to vent or read venting should ignore it.

That said, once a topic is started it's impossible to always steer it in the direction you want and people are free to post whatever they views they feel fit.

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Let's just please keep this one on track.

I am living in the House of Mumps at the moment and am not in the best mood.

mine suck totally and completely.  I've been in the UK 4 years have seen MIL once accidentally- she didn't know I was home and FIL a handful of times when he came over to help w/ some DIY. They have never and do not ever want to meet my daughter(their one and only grandchild-hubs is an only child). 

That is truly awful, Lindy.

Mine isn't EVIL and I honestly probably wouldn't mind her if there were a little distance. But we've been stuck living with them since last June. Initially, it was supposed to be only for 6-8 weeks - but we're still here. 

mine suck totally and completely.  I've been in the UK 4 years have seen MIL once accidentally- she didn't know I was home and FIL a handful of times when he came over to help w/ some DIY. They have never and do not ever want to meet my daughter(their one and only grandchild-hubs is an only child).  They suck!! When I think of my parents back in MA who love my daughter and are so sad they can't see her more often and then I think of them... well lets just say I think some very very mean and nasty things.

edited to add:
bastards!!

Aww that's awful!!!   

My boyfriend's mum makes it quite clear that she hates me.  She thinks I'm too boisterous (she likes to say it's an American thing) and that I'm SO over-confident.  I know some of it is cultural, but a lot of it is because bf's dad (they're divorced) and I get along famously- and that really p***es her off.  The bf doesn't really listen to her, and always stands up for me- but she still manages to make every moment in her presence uncomfortable and miserable for me. 

 

I thought mine were OK, and I carefully bought a house an hour away from them.. but it's apparently time for me to understand and accept the mixture of Buddhism/Confucianism/Shinto/plain insanity that passes for 'common sense and knowledge' in Japan.  I am expected to sell the house and move in with them, and quickly become fluent in Japanese, so I can 'take care of them'.  And stop working pronto, as that's 'not my job'.

OK, brick wall, meet brick wall.  None of that stuff is going to happen.  Honestly, they don't want me trying to take care of them when they get ill.  I'd get deathly sick faster than them, anyhow.. their crappy old vinyl-sided house isn't just damp, it's wet.  And mouldy.  And reeking of mothballs.  Their kitchen is an obvious fire hazard.. one whole wall is made of tinfoil.  And the bugs, holy cow.  They have a serious centipede problem, and those things are: huge, poisonous, and I react rather badly to the bites.

And of course this pressure starts when DH is already a basket case.  So, great, the inlaws could see there was a problem.  And the problem is me.  They took him to a monk last weekend, where he had a nice talking-to about duty to family, and the responsibilities of the first son.

Of course, all this stuff is framed as 'my unwillingness to form a closer relationship'. 

I'm starting to frame it as 'you are all nuts, and I will divorce your lame-ass son and take the house if this continues'.

Ooh maderia- these things are so tough when its cultural as well as normal IL stuff. 
Blah!!!!