How long is long enough before you say "I do."

Good luck to the two of you. Enjoy getting to know him as part of the process. Once I met my fiance in the flesh the first time, I knew that I really did love him. What I didn't realize is that every time we have been together over the past two years, I would find myself respecting, liking, and admiring him even more than I thought possible. The distance and time between physical visits has been hard, but it has also been beneficial. I know him so well now, and I even know myself better because of our relationship.

" As someone who is a school counselor," I am pursuing a degree in Elementary Education - what is the job market there like for yankee teachers?

I am looking into this myself as I have a degree in secondary education, English (speech and theatre minor.) I am in the process of having my state certification updated so I can send it off to NARIC in the UK, which is the organization that evaluates whether or not your overseas credentials are equivalent to the UK's. Here is their website: www.naric.org.uk I have also registered with the Teacher Training Agency: www.tta.gov.uk
They can send you a pamphlet on how to qualify as a teacher in England. It is very informative. Good luck!

Yankeegirl...I got a job at a private American school over here (private in American terms)...and have been working in private schools in the states for over 10 years (American overseas schools usually require at least 2 yrs experience)...so I didn't get a job that is remotely UK related...so don't have any hints for you.  Sorry!

Yankeegirl, I just read this thread recently, and just a friendly word of caution, not just for you, but for anyone --- remember that what you're feeling for him right now is lust, which is easily mistaken with being madly in love. You barely know this guy, remember. And lust can be a very dangerous thing when it involves moving to a whole different country, and even more dangerous when kids are involved.

You say you are already engaged, but as someone who's been there, I truly think only after your first meeting should you even consider taking your relationship to a more serious level, and even after that take things slow, because both of you will still have your guards up and you can't REALLY know someone from just one visit. Believe me, I know the desperation you feel! But you really need to visit him several times after that, and even have him visit you once or twice, to really REALLY get to know him and solidify the relationship. Basically, to test it out and see if it really DOES work out between you -- so you don't jump into things and cause major heartbreak.

You may think you know him now, but you only really see the side of him that's sitting in front of the computer screen, no matter how much you talk. Believe me, I thought I knew my guy after SIX months of chatting, but I learned about a million things more within the first hour of meeting him physically. To be blunt, you don't know how bad his temper really is, how he has treated previous women, etc., until much later, when you both become comfortable enough around one another to fully let down your guards down enough to have your first REAL fight. That can take many more months yet.

Abandonning all that you know in America to move to England is a whole lot different than visiting on vacation. Once the novelty and excitement has worn off, it becomes just as much as your day to day life as your life was in the States, and you may find yourself feeling very isolated and alone. Furthermore, if for whatever reason it doesn't work out after all, you will literally feel trapped in a foreign country. Plus, your kids may have quite a lot of difficulty adjusting to a completely foreign school system and completely different kids.

I really hope I haven't totally put you off, I kind of went on and on here. Sorry.  I'm just trying to give you a fair warning from someone who has also had the experience of falling in love with a Brit, except for me, it's Scotland, not England.  But no matter how you slice it, it's an adventure, and I honestly hope everything goes well for you!     ~Honeybee

Wow - you guys are the best - let me just make a few comments - my children do come first - that's a given - I am a great Mom so I would never do anything that would jeopardize their happiness or well being.  My sweetheart and I had our first tif online (I was being a drama queen)- he was very abrupt and curt.  I must say it was an eye opening experience - it was one thing to feel crushed in my own home - and it would be another thing to feel crushed not even on my own continent!! Well we did patch things up and he has more than made up for his one discourteous night - but could I risk "that feeling" on foreign soil - I don't think so.  I pray maybe if everything works out - he will consider moving here - but for now I am just going to enjoy our relationship and try not to plan everything out ad nauseum.  Still madly in love with my Englishman,

Peace from the U.S.

Your first fight was probably a very important thing! 

I've not said this to anyone in a public forum before, but your story compels me.  I have been involved in a long distance relationship for the last two months with a man in England - I live in the US.  Our first few weeks has been a time of very intense communication, using chat and webcam and voice.  I've met his kids, he's met mine.  It's been a really terrific experience so far.  I'm going to be visiting the UK in November, BUT we have agreed not to discuss it for the time being, other than the fact that he knows I will be visiting.  We are possibly being too cautious, but we don't want to jump the gun!  lol. 

In the meantime, our relationship is now settling down into something more comfortable for both of us - we don't feel quite the desperation to talk every day that I, for certain, felt for a while there.  We feel more sure of each other, and are happy to let the relationship progress to its natural conclusion.

At times, I'm almost desperate to get rid of the wires and the technology and be with him in person because I want to know for certain whether or not we have a future.  But, as peedal (and some others have expressed) if it's right, it's right, and we will be together.

I hope you won't think me one of the nosy ones, but would you keep us advised as to how things go with your special man??  I wish you all the best!

Julie

I agree with others that it is important to really consider how you will feel actually living in the UK, every day (except for vacations). My hubby had a lot of trouble adjusting to life in the UK, and it would be fairly true to say he was utterly miserable. After a few months he'd had enough and went back to the States. We didn't really 'split up' as such, but it was a very difficult and upsetting time because it really wasn't on the cards for me to move to the US for various reasons. Hubby had been suffering from depression for years and this is what had made adjusting to life in the UK much more difficult.
Eventually his mother and sister persuaded him that seeking medical treatment really was not being a wimp, and after over a year back home he decided to come back to the UK and try again. I insisted (as I had before--not that he'd listened) that a year was the very minimum amount of time he needed to stay before he could really judge whether he could live in the UK. I also said (because I was pretty sure) that even after 1 year he'd still feel some homesickness (bearable by then though).
What I predicted did pan out. He did much better on the meds. He's really got into the whole mini-breaks to Europe together thing (as have I and I know we'd really miss that if we went to live in the US. I love the South of France and he loves Amsterdam). We'll have been married 6 years soon and I can say now that he is content here. I know he'd prefer to live in the States but he is perfectly happy in London and after a two week vacation back to Boston he is usually more than ready to come back to the nice life we have here.
And btw, we had only spent 2 weeks together before we decided to marry. But we had been writing and phoning for a year before we met.
Hope that is some help.

Sorry been away so long -- thank you for all the new posts - though we have had now two disagreements - 1 minor - 1 major that almost caused a break up - yesterday was our one month anniversary - and I still feel butterflys in my stomach when I first see him on the cam.  Our communication skills have improved - though there is the occassional phrase or "thing" I have no idea what he is talking about - but I must admit it is part of the allure.  He has booked a flight and will be here for my birthday - September 29th - But I tell you - this is by far the hardest thing I have ever been through - I watched him sleep the other night - bless his heart he left the light on in his room so I could still see him on the cam! At first I just sat there and smiled -hmmm... assessing that he sleeps all curled up with blanket up over his shoulders like I do - then the smile turned to tears when I invisioned laying next to him - holding him - touching him and well...etc.  I long for the day when his kisses don't feel like glass (computer screen) and we can do just ordinary things. This morning he is playing rugby with his friends - what I wouldn't do to see him play - to root him on - to kiss his salty, perspired, forehead.  But alas the reality is tommorrow I start back to school full time (also work full time & single mom) and there will be precious little time for the two of us.  I have no doubt the Lord put this man in my life - and I in his - and whatever it takes - time, money, patience - I will wait (which isn't one of my strong suits) because no one has touched my heart as he has.  Still madly and passionately in love with my Brit.

Take care you guys!

Peace from the U.S.,
Amy

P.S. I am expecting my first grandbaby in January!!!! Yeah!! My daughter lives in Charleston - and we had a scary weekend - waiting out Hurricane Charlie! 

- I watched him sleep the other night - bless his heart he left the light on in his room so I could still see him on the cam!  

Eek!  There's no way i could sleep if i thought someone might be watching me!!! 

Hi Yankeegirl...glad to hear back from you! When I saw that someone had replied to this thread I opened it planning on writing a quick one asking if anyone had heard from you and how your relationship is progrssing. Glad to hear you're working through "cultural diffs" as they come up!

Sept. 29 isn't too far away, you must be getting very excited. Is he coming that day or beforehand?

Oh, and congratulations on your upcoming grandbaby!

Geally

oooooooh gooood luck YankeeGirl! i know what you're going through, reading your post brought it all back to me (although thank GOD i didn't have a pc at home at the time so no nocturnal web cam watching for me) ... that sense of anticipation ...  I truly hope your first face to face meeting goes as well for you as mine & Stu's did ... it will be a moment you treasure for always...

thanks for keeping us updated