Changing name after marriage vs keeping your own name

I think I have seen this discussed before but can't find it.

I am wondering about the pros and cons of keeping your maiden name after marriage.  Is it more confusing if you keep your maiden name?  Has anyone had any problems because they did that.  I don't want to do the hyphenated name.

I think it's a personal choice, really - I took my husband's last name because I am a highly traditional person, truth be told, and I felt it was right.  To me, it shows the world that we are united, we are a family.  My sons' last names were changed to my husband's as well and I think it just re-enforces that we are a family unit.

I have to agree with peedal on this one - I took my husbands last name because I'm a stickler for tradition. And plus I've carried around my maiden name for the last twenty three years, I figured it was time for a change. I chose not to hyphenate my name because it would be far too long.

I do highly believe that it is a personal choice. It's what you feel like doing. If you like your maiden name and want to keep it forever then go for it. I just like the feeling of my husband and I sharing the same last name...makes it feel very permanent. It is all up to you though hun.

My experience with changing my last name went quite swiftly though, even changing my name in my passport was easy. So if you're worried about that at all, don't be!! Hehe!! Tc and let us know what you do!! 

x x x - Missy 

well i've been married twice; i didn't take my first husband's name because i just didn't like it and well i guess i had an inkling of how things might turn out with him and i was SO glad later i didn't have his name; this time, i have taken my husband's name because i want it to be obvious we're a couple/family, we knew we were going ot have children and no way did i want to lumber them with some hypehnated name (especially as our two surnames did not work well together!) andi definitely didn't want a different name to my children; it is interesting cause he is the yank but his surname is welsh and now i get asked if i am from wales!!  whereas before when i had my maiden name which was persian people used to say "how unusual where is that from?" - now i find if people are relaly nosey about my heritage they have to say "you don't LOOK english, where are you really from?"

i don't regard myself as a traditionalist, i am very much a feminist in fact but in our culuture all surnames come from some man or other don't they? - husband, father, grandfather etc. i like the icelandic way - girl's get their mother's first name + "dottir" (meabing daughter) and buys gte their father's first name + Sson (meaning "son"), so for example, Bjork's surname is Gudmansdottir - her mother's name must be Gudman.

Bjorksdottir would be her daughter's surname?

sorry i typed that last post waaay too fast and made a zillion typos - so many i don't have the energy to edit it ...

Bjorksdottir would be her daughter's surname?

yup!

I agree that it's totally up to you whether you keep your name or take your husband's. I've noticed that it's quite common over here to hyphenate names, and that creates some very imposing monikers! At my last work place, there was a Karen Mallison-Yates, Fiona Murphy-Long, Cavelle Priestley-Bird, and even a Digby Carrington-Howell. And there I was just plain little old Carla Tate. Ha! Have fun with your name, I guess. Just do what you like

Ah the joys of being double-barrelled...



I like the Icelandic way as well, fyi. 

I took my husband's name for many reasons...I look at it as claiming it by right of conquest lol!

That said, if I hadn't taken his name...I would have changed my maiden one, but that's a whole 'nother matter. 

wench

OK this is a true story. I SWEAR!
I have been married twice. When I met my ex-husbeast he introduced himself as Dan Bonner. I didnt think much of it. He seemed to be a nice guy, attractive, etc. So we started dating exclusively. A few weeks after we met he came to my work place in his military uniform. I noticed the name badge on his uniform spelled "Bonner" B-O-N-E-R. Well "Boner" is NOT "Bonner". I cringed at the sight of him in that uniform. All of a sudden he didnt seem so attractive anymore. I know that sounds stupid and shallow but I was only 22 so I WAS stupid and shallow. When he asked me to marry him a few months later I actually thought about saying no (wish I did) but I told him I would marry him only if we could change his last name to "BONNER" before we had any children. Terrible arent I? 4 years later when I became pregnant with my first son we both agreed it would be best to have the name changed. He told me he went through the tortures of hell as a kid with that last name. So we had the name changed. I just couldnt let my sons go through life being "Boner". I somehow believe that a name can affect the course of your life. None of the "Boner" clan have decent jobs. Most are unemployed or in jail to be honest. Thank goodness Im "Andrews" now. Nice, simple and quite common.
Pebs 

LOL Peebles!

While I was waiting in court in Atlanta to get my divorce the couple before us was having their name changed from Boner to Bonner.  Small world?

I've thought about doing it two-fold:  Change AND not change my name. 

For anything "offical" I will retain my maiden name, that way, I am still Ms Cook for my freelance work, and don't have to change masses of official paper work.  For friends and family addressing things to me, they can take thier pick...I'd not "correct" anyone on the names and as my social and professional lives are seperate it would not be a problem.

As we can not have children, there is not the big thing to have the same name, though if we were to adopt later, I would certainly reconcider this action and change everything...just so that we all have the same name...

Geez Missy! That is SO WEIRD! I didnt think Boner was such a common name! lol  Any more BONERs out there?
Pebs 

LMAO!  And I thought the last-name that I ended up having to endure because of my ex-husband was bad!  BONER tops mine though, and what I have had to deal with.  Oh, and Pebbles, I love that, "ex-husbeast"!  That's just perfect to describe my ex-husband as well.  I, too, married young and stupid the first time around. ~~sigh~~  Live and learn.  Anyway, my ex-husband's last name is "Eff", pronounced just like the letter.   I don't know how many times I have been asked about it.  It seems like everywhere I go people want to know about it....or, worse, I've had to call up and make an appointment for something and get asked my name.  First of all, for all too many people, I have to explain my FIRST name!  'Yes, Autumn....A-U-T-U-M-N!  Just like the season!'  I don't know how many people leave the N off my name.   Then my last name, "Eff".  There is always a pause then, because they - of course - are waiting for me to SPELL the rest of my name!  LOL, as if it started with F and it was really long and it needed to be spelled for them to get it right.  Oh, it's been so annoying......  I guess, after the divorce, I should have taken my maiden name back.  But, I had never particularly liked my maiden name (because of my father...I did not want to bear his name either)....so, I just kept the damn "Eff".

So, personally, I can't wait to take my Jamie's last name as my own.  But, it has to do with more than just the fact that I won't have to put up with having "Eff" as a last name anymore.  For me, it is a proud declaration that I belong to Jamie.  That he loves me and wants me to be his forever.  I can't wait to bear his name.  I can't wait to sign my name to something.  I can't wait to be asked what my name is so I can, with joy and pride, say, "Autumn Dawn Leader!"