Great Body Image Article

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/fashion/stellamagazine/7725736/Women-and-body-image-a-mans-perspective.html

I thought it was interesting and pretty dead on.

This article is brilliant! He totally gets it. (And I must admit I'm guilty of having scenarios similar to the ones he described  )

I know plenty of men who are very sensitive about their appearance and feel bad about their bodies, and are concerned with much more about their bodies than whether or not they have big muscles.

I  know men who look at photos of men with six packs in the same envious way that women look at photos of female models and celebrities.

The men just usually don't have the freedom to talk about this in public without having their sexuality questioned. Because heterosexual men aren't supposed to worry about what their thighs look like or how shiny their hair is. Or look at a male model's chest for too long.

The balding guy with the beer belly probably isn't as content with himself as he seems to be.

I agree and disagree.  Absolutely, straight men care (well, gay men too, but as you said, it's more accepted for gay men to be more vocal about caring.)  They worry about taking their shirts off at the beach just as much as the next woman does to be seen in a bathing suit.    They care about the receding hairlines, the blemishes.  All of it.  That said
I still think that women face more pressure on this front.  I think there are just more beauty "standards" that a lot of women feel they have to meet (be it weight, hair removal (or lack thereof), make-up, etc.  Men do have it a little easier.    Given the amount of heavier men that are successful in the entertainment industry as opposed to the women (I mean, come on - America Ferrara, who by all accounts is singled out being different/bigger in terms of hollywood body standards - totally has a normal, healthy, body).  Meanwhile, your Seth Rogans, Jonah Hill's, Adam Sandler types - all kind of normal (if  a little heavier) average guy bodies don't face the same attention.   

Thanks for posting that, Jenn. It is so true. I mean, the women you see in films, on television, and in magazines, etc. are chosen out of thousands of women from different places all over the world. I bet if we only compared ourselves to the women we see around us on a daily basis, we would feel better about ourselves. Like, when my best friend came here to visit and I was moaning on about some thing I didn't like about myself, she said, "Look around you. In our age group, you are one of the best looking women here. Stop comparing yourself to teenagers and just look at women your own age to see where you stand." It did make a huge difference in the way I saw myself after she said that. But it is so easy to forget that and compare yourself to women nearly half your age who have been airbrushed and might rarely eat a solid meal or who works out for 3 hours each day. Those of us who aren't professional models or actresses rarely have that kind of time in the day or the motivation that those women have to look that way.

I do absolutely agree that men care about the way they look. DH hates his skinny legs and rarely wears shorts in front of people. He asks me how his hair looks, etc. He even makes comments about his weight if he gains a few pounds around the middle (and he's skinny as a rail, actually.) But, at the same time, he also seems to really only compare himself to guys his own age. He looks around at his friends who are losing their hair or who are getting fat, and I think he feels better about himself. He looks at an 18 year old guy with a hard body and just thinks of him as a kid who isn't even in the same ballpark. Women don't really think like that, for the most part. We compare ourselves to all women, whether they are in the same league as us or not.

I guess it depends on the woman.

I, personally, don't know too many women who go around comparing themselves to female celebrities.

Why would you, when these women have personal trainers, access to the healthiest foods (they don't have to cook for themselves or shop at Asda), and their photos are often photoshopped anyway?

And the woman who walk around half-dressed in the city centre in the evening - many of whom are a lot bigger than America Ferrara - don't seem to have body image issues.

I think, though, that it is often socially unacceptable for a woman to admit that she is happy with her body.

A woman who says "I hate my bum. I wish I had a bum like (so and so)" is fitting in with the crowd.

A woman who says "I have a fantastic bum and I want to show it off" is a slut.

I wasn't really implying that most women compare themselves to specific celebrities, merely that there seems to be more pressure for women to conform to a standard that is unrealistic, based upon what TV/magazines/movies put out there as the "standard".  The fact that America Ferrara is not the true/realistic standard (and smaller than it, even, as based upon what you saying about some of the women you see) is the issue.  And it trickles down to what is also available in the clothing stores.  I'm just using the US as an example now because  I know the average size there - but the average size of a woman in the US is plus sized, yet the clothing selection for plus sized women is limited.  What sort of message is that sending? 

I don't compare myself to celebrities for body image, in that I know that there is a)photoshop, b) they have trainers and advantages the average person doesn't have, and c) they are in the business of looking good, it's why they get paid.  And I have a realistic and healthy body image.  Am I in perfect shape?  No.  Is my body healthy and am I treating it right?  Sure, 90% of the time.    I wish all women were more secure in how they look, but clearly they aren't which is how the diet and beauty industries are making their bucks.  I know there are products and campaigns that target men, but not nearly as many as there are for women. 

I'm most concerned about how it must be for the pre-teens/teens.  I remember the insecurities of growing up, hitting puberty, feeling the need to lose weight, and the images that were on TV and in the magazines/ads were not nearly as bad as they are now.  And girls that age?  Much more impressionable.

I think it's most important to try and stop comparing yourself at all and that is the big problem, as it seems ingrained in many Western societies. More important to focus on health and wellbeing and quality of relationships to be happy, IMO. The challenge is to try and be an one with oneself and accept our human imperfections, as we are all imperfect and that is what makes us all so interesting. 

I'm most concerned about how it must be for the pre-teens/teens.  I remember the insecurities of growing up, hitting puberty, feeling the need to lose weight, and the images that were on TV and in the magazines/ads were not nearly as bad as they are now.  And girls that age?  Much more impressionable.

I don't know how it is for teens today, but I feel that the photoshopped images today are so unrealistic that I find it hard to even consider trying to look like them

The models of the 70s/80s might have been thin, but they looked human - like you could look like them, eventually, if you dieted or exercised enough.

Nowadays, photos are so unrealistic - for example, women in photos have tiny shoulders, necks and torsos, but they don't have visible ribs or collarbones, or their legs or so thin that they wouldn't be able to support their  own bodies.

It's physically impossible to look like the women in some of these photos - so I don't see the point of trying.

I think it's most important to try and stop comparing yourself at all and that is the big problem, as it seems ingrained in many Western societies. More important to focus on health and wellbeing and quality of relationships to be happy, IMO. The challenge is to try and be an one with oneself and accept our human imperfections, as we are all imperfect and that is what makes us all so interesting. 

You are seriously the most self-actualized person I have ever known.  I aspire toward this!

I don't know how it is for teens today, but I feel that the photoshopped images today are so unrealistic that I find it hard to even consider trying to look like them

The models of the 70s/80s might have been thin, but they looked human - like you could look like them, eventually, if you dieted or exercised enough.

Nowadays, photos are so unrealistic - for example, women in photos have tiny shoulders, necks and torsos, but they don't have visible ribs or collarbones, or their legs or so thin that they wouldn't be able to support their  own bodies.  

I agree. I think it's really hard for young people these days.

You are seriously the most self-actualized person I have ever known.   I aspire toward this!

Thanks, I think.  

But, hmmm, I doubt that.     Seriously. I work on trying to love myself. But I don't always feel the love. And I spend too much time in my head. I think maybe I was Buddhist in another life, though.  

Aim for the zen. 

But, hmmm, I doubt that.     Seriously. I work on trying to love myself. But I don't always feel the love. And I spend too much time in my head. I think maybe I was Buddhist in another life, though.  

Aim for the zen. 

LOL... having these conversations with you is like reading The Prophet.  I love it! 

LOL... having these conversations with you is like reading The Prophet.  I love it! 

I'll have to look for that. Who's it by? Reminds me of The Tao of Pooh and The Te of Piglet.

Hijack over! 

I'm trying to remember the models when I was growing up (late 80s) - so that was what, Cindy Crawford, Christie Brinkley?  Both thin, but healthy women.  I remember it being a big deal that Cindy was *GASP* a size 6 back then, maybe? 

But the next ten years had the ultra-thin models, and we've had SUCH and influx of imaged based reality TV shows (which are crap, I grant that, but still available to be viewed by the younger girls) and despite the fact that these bodies are SO unrealistic - I still think it gets in their heads.  I've been doing some reading and the age that females have started dieting in some fashion is getting younger and younger, which is just sad.

That said, there's also the increase in childhood obesity.  It just makes me sad that so many kids don't have healthy view of eating, be it under/over-eating.

Okay, I totally am going off on a tangent with that aspect of it.  But I still stand by that women have it worse in the whole world of physical appearance pressures and I wish it wasn't that way!  I mean, I think we're mostly adults on this board so we have a little more perspective and do know better than to strive for something that's unrealistic for our bodies, but it makes me sad that so many young girls are troubled by what the media puts out.

I'll have to look for that. Who's it by? Reminds me of The Tao of Pooh and The Te of Piglet.

Hijack over! 

The Prophet is by Khalil Gibran... best. book. ever. Talk about Buddha on a mountaintop. I don't think anything could chill you out and make you feel more Zen-like than reading that book.  OK, hijack really is over now!