English humor - I dont get it?

English humor....I have been told I dont get it...and I need to learn it.

See some things my fiance says he means as a joke, but I think they just sound mean. lol  OR I just dont see the humor in them.

Does anyone else run into this?

 

It could be your not getting it, or it could be he isn't funny and like a lot of people think others shouldn't take offence when they make a mean joke. 

Without knowing him I can't really tell.  I find a lot of British things funny, but not jokes told at others' expense.  But that isn't a British thing, people make mean jokes everywhere.   

When I was a new person at my present workplace, I felt a bit shy and didn't talk much to anybody, but now I am the opposite. The other day I said to a lady in the office, "When I started here I wouldn't say 'boo' to a goose!". She grinned and replied "...and now we can't shut you up!" Now if you didn't have a feel for that very British type of ironic humour, and you were excessively literal minded you might imagine she was being "mean".

But that would depend on the context. 

I wouldn't consider that an example of only British humour, people would say that in the US as well, but it would depend if the person was smiling, the tone of voice and all that jazz.

Without knowing the person, how can anyone tell? 

Without knowing the person, how can anyone tell? 

Exactly. There are plenty of people the world over who don't "get" certain kinds of humour; also plenty of people who aren't funny (these are two sides of the same coin, I think.)

I think Count Arthur Strong is a scream but Madame Trémula can't stand him.

I concur.   

English humor....I have been told I dont get it...and I need to learn it.

See some things my fiance says he means as a joke, but I think they just sound mean. lol  OR I just dont see the humor in them.

Does anyone else run into this?

 

Yep. 

It does get easier.  I am able to tell when someone is "taking the piss" and can give it right back.  However it still makes me somewhat uncomfortable, in certain situations, and I sometimes personally feel like a line has been crossed, even if I know it is perfectly acceptable.

BUT even though I can decern British humor, it doesn't mean I always like it or partake in it. There is a time and a place for everything.  Certain jokes just aren't ever funny, IMO.  My BF recognises that my humor isn't totally like his and when he has made a joke and I am not feeling it, I say so.  Usually it is with a offhanded "honey, I am American and I am not amused."   I don't like to overuse "I am American" but it is a nice reminder to him that sometimes we are culturally different.  It is a phrase that can be used and he knows to back off and not try to convince me it *really* is a funny joke.

I would say though, cultural differance or not, your BF needs to embrace who you are not who he thinks you should be.  You may never get British humor and who the hell cares?  It isn't a life requirement.  I got along just as fine when I didn't really get it.  Your cultural differences (while sometimes challenging) are the things you should like about each other not pick apart.  If he wanted a fiance to fit the British mold - no arm hair and all - he shouldn't be dating an American. 

I've noticed that British humour often includes irony and some people just don't get irony.  Like "Honk your horn if you love peace and quiet".  Not the funniest thing in the world but I chuckled when I heard that.  Some people might not understand the irony in it.

Some British humour also used British terms/slang...so if you're not aware of them, you might not understand the joke to begin with.  Like in Shaun of the Dead, Shaun calls his ex-girlfriend (who just broke up with him the night before) and he hangs up the phone, frustrated and says "She's engaged."  His friend replies "That was quick."  I thought that was hilarious but if you don't know what 'engaged' means, the joke would be lost.  Just like if the punchline of a joke was that someone was 'pissed'...an American might be trying to figure out why being angry would make the joke funny.

British humour also seems to include more "intelligent humour"...where you might have to actually think about it for a minute.  A lot of people just don't like that type of humour.

British humour also seems to include more "intelligent humour"...where you might have to actually think about it for a minute.  A lot of people just don't like that type of humour.

I think you made an important point there.

I think you made an important point there.

Yes, a fairly offensive point.

The foreigners I know who don't like British humor don't like the piss taking element, as it seems to hold an underlying meanness -- the whole, is there an element of truth hiding in there.  They certainly don't dislike British humor because they are too stupid to get the intellegent jokes.  Give me a break. 

Yes, a fairly offensive point.

The foreigners I know who don't like British humor don't like the piss taking element, as it seems to hold an underlying meanness -- the whole, is there an element of truth hiding in there.  They certainly don't dislike British humor because they are too stupid to get the intellegent jokes.  Give me a break. 

But that was a joke, didn't you think it was funny?  Guess you have no sense of humour.   

The foreigners I know who don't like British humor don't like the piss taking element, as it seems to hold an underlying meanness -- the whole, is there an element of truth hiding in there.  They certainly don't dislike British humor because they are too stupid to get the intellegent jokes.  Give me a break. 

While I agree it's certainly nothing to do with understanding intelligent jokes, the foreigners I know who don't like British humour don't get the piss taking element. It's not simply that they don't like it.

To most Brits, one of the funniest things imaginable is foreigners "not getting" British humour. Their stony faces and their earnest protestations. I must have got infected because I find parts of this thread very funny.

I think it's often the way many English people tend to give deadpan expressions, rather than smiling when making a joke, so it's harder to tell when they are joking, which is more likely what makes you "think about it for a minute" rather than it just being too intelligent to comprehend. But I don't think (IM)Patiently Waiting meant to be offensive with that comment. 

For the record, I never said anyone was too stupid to understand British humour.  I was saying that some people (actually, a lot of people!) don't like jokes that make you think.  They prefer slackslip (or other non-thinking required) humour.  It's not a matter of your IQ level, it's a matter of what you find amusing (is it more funny to make an intelligent play on words - requires thinking - or is it more funny to watch someone fall down a flight of stairs - requires no thinking)?   

I saw a clip from 'Not Going Out' where the guy was reading a classified ad, saying "Are you looking for a job, init?".  The woman said "No, it's are you looking for a job in IT?".  Not a lot of Americans would "get" that...but it doesn't make them stupid.  Sometimes British humour that wouldn't be classified as "intelligent humour" requires thinking on the part of foreigners (and thus could be considered unamusing).