Had my first real bout of winter blues today (for this winter, so far) - I think mostly because I'm just annoyed & frustrated with a number of things: been stuck inside the last couple days waiting/hoping for my Amazon ('free' shipping) order to turn up with the Christmas presents I ordered - I always forget that the free shipping through Amazon is often a really crap service (when they use Home Delivery Network Ltd anyway...it arrived at their Leeds depot
yesterday morning at 5 am - so why the f*** isn't it here by now?!). Plus I worry if I'm not here to receive the shipment - well it's going to be kind of big & heavy for starters - then it's going to go off to some depot somewhere that I haven't the remotest idea how to get to and/or arranging redelivery is going to be further faff. I'm still not as comfortable driving here in the UK as I'd like to be, unless it's a place with which I'm already familiar on getting to it - which annoys me, because I feel like I don't have the same freedom & mobility in the car that I had in the US - lacking confidence & all that. I know it's my own fault for not getting in more practice, but I just don't believe in driving around for no directed purpose.
And then there's - well isn't buying Christmas presents supposed to be a joy? Except it doesn't feel like it - it feels like a chore. I ordered online to try & avoid hassle and it seems because I forgot about the free shipping being crap, it's ending up being more of a hassle. Maybe I should have bought them in town instead. Then I feel guilty because I don't feel like I think I should feel about getting ready for Christmas.
Plus I just hate winter full stop, and I'm worried about bad weather coming in again & making everything 10 times harder to get done than it already is. And I still hate my job too - thank goodness I just have this week coming up to work, and then I'm done until January 5. And I haven't lost any weight over the past month liked I wanted to do, and DH made a comment this morning about that - although he didn't mean anything by it, it made me cry anyway.
I finally got outside for just a little while this afternoon (it's a little warmer this weekend - not warm, but you know what I mean) & the fresh air was nice. I think we are going to do a walk tomorrow, so that should help.