Inconvenient Annoyances

I think it's a Chia Pet - sprinkle on some seeds and water it.

Plugs would look much better.

Albatros - get out there and OWN it!  It looks fabulous, no matter what. Make sure you think that, and everyone else will too.

I was at the hairdresser on Sunday.  It is now Thursday and NO ONE has mentioned the change of colour, and change of style.  I take this to mean it looks awful/stupid/ridiculous/etc and people are choosing to ignore it, rather than to acknowledge it.  Now I feel like I want to dig a hole and let the earth swallow me up.

Is it vastly different or just a bit of a change? Could it be that they have just not noticed? If so, it will be because it really suits you!

If my husband had a good haircut, it was sometimes weeks before I noticed, but a bad one, I would notice right away!

If my husband had a good haircut, it was sometimes weeks before I noticed, but a bad one, I would notice right away!

haha and even then I'm not sure I'd notice right away. I only know sometimes for SURE that my husband's had a haircut when I know he's going to the hairdressers LOL Sometimes I can kind of tell it looks different....but it's not drastically different enough that I'm positive so I always have to work up the courage to say "haircut today?"

Can we actually even call that "hair"? Do you think it's even made with real human hair?

Actually, it's a barn cat.



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I was at the hairdresser on Sunday.  It is now Thursday and NO ONE has mentioned the change of colour, and change of style.  I take this to mean it looks awful/stupid/ridiculous/etc and people are choosing to ignore it, rather than to acknowledge it.  Now I feel like I want to dig a hole and let the earth swallow me up.

Two things:

1. When a new style suits a person well, I don't notice the change.  I just think, "that's so-and-so. They look like that."  It's a good thing when I don't notice (or at least not a bad thing).  (My husband just got a haircut... it doesn't register, even though he had 5 inches taken off!)

2. When I was 7 years old, my dad was home from work when I got home from school (something that practically never happened!), and said to me, "Hey Kim!  Notice anything different about me?"  I made the following guesses (and maybe more): new shoes, new cut-off(?!?!) jean shorts, haircut, new shirt, got fired, new job, long silent staring, giving up...  The new thing was that he had shaved off the aviator-style moustache he'd had since before I was born.  I completely failed to notice.  Because the lack of moustache suited him.

Or maybe I'm just unobservant af.

Actually, it's a barn cat.



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That is legitimately excellent.



my IA today is that I have to take a sick day...i HATE taking sick days. -_-

I hope you're feeling better KoD. At least in the UK you get sick days! (I hadn't had an employer who offered them in the US in many years, you got a "days off" alottment and some could be sick but then you lost vacation!)

I'm really not OK right now. I can't really say much as it applies to the ongoing hell that has been the last 2 months. CAB is getting to know me well, have to call them again tomorrow.

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My IA: My brother in law- sister's husband. They've been married over 10 years. They live down south, so only come up to Ohio to visit our family once or twice a year. Often my sister, who I love dearly, will try to coincide with my trips back from the UK so we can see each other.

I don't just care for how he is as a person- neither does the rest of my family. We're cordial and everything. In fairness, sometimes he's perfectly fine. But other many times, he's quite difficult to connect and talk to. He's the most intense, highly strung person I've met. Low tolerance and low patience for anything and everything. Plus, he has some odd ways of controlling my sister that she doesn't even see/would never acknowledge as they're practically attached at the hip....... it's sad.

This last visit over the weekend didn't go so well, and he frankly pissed us right off. He's not a kid person (been estranged for years from his kids from his first marriage, but that's a whole other can of worms), but was playing checkers with my 7 year old nephew (other sister's son). My nephew is a very fun little boy- he was laughing during the game, being cheeky, taking shortcuts while playing. Everything was fine. Then, something snapped in my BIL and he actually yelled and cursed at him to play the game the "correct" way. WTH?? He's only 7. This is not some serious, world championship of checkers here. Jerk.

And yesterday, he was driving me, my parents, and my sister home from dinner. It was raining and the highway was very wet. For whatever reason, he was in one of his awkward, intense moods that day, and started taking it out on driving. He was going WAY too fast and following cars WAY too close in the pouring rain. Downright dangerous. My sister told him to slow down. He told her it's fine and he's being safe. My mom, who is all about keeping the peace and being (too) nice to people, gently mentioned that it's twice the stopping distance in wet weather. He snapped back "if someone else wants to drive home they're more than welcome to." Wow! Thank God he got the hint after that and slowed down.

I dunno....... this behavior is a red flag to me.  He's been like this every since I met him, but as I get older I realize it more. And I don't like it at all.  Maybe at the ripe old age of 31 I just don't have tolerance for as**oles anymore.

I hope you're feeling better KoD. At least in the UK you get sick days! (I hadn't had an employer who offered them in the US in many years, you got a "days off" alottment and some could be sick but then you lost vacation!)

I'm really not OK right now. I can't really say much as it applies to the ongoing hell that has been the last 2 months. CAB is getting to know me well, have to call them again tomorrow.

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Whatever is happening, I hope that it gets resolved quickly in the best possible outcome for you 2 months is a long time to be dealing with this crap so soon after moving.

My IA: My brother in law- sister's husband. They've been married over 10 years. They live down south, so only come up to Ohio to visit our family once or twice a year. Often my sister, who I love dearly, will try to coincide with my trips back from the UK so we can see each other.

I don't just care for how he is as a person- neither does the rest of my family. We're cordial and everything. In fairness, sometimes he's perfectly fine. But other many times, he's quite difficult to connect and talk to. He's the most intense, highly strung person I've met. Low tolerance and low patience for anything and everything. Plus, he has some odd ways of controlling my sister that she doesn't even see/would never acknowledge as they're practically attached at the hip....... it's sad.

This last visit over the weekend didn't go so well, and he frankly pissed us right off. He's not a kid person (been estranged for years from his kids from his first marriage, but that's a whole other can of worms), but was playing checkers with my 7 year old nephew (other sister's son). My nephew is a very fun little boy- he was laughing during the game, being cheeky, taking shortcuts while playing. Everything was fine. Then, something snapped in my BIL and he actually yelled and cursed at him to play the game the "correct" way. WTH?? He's only 7. This is not some serious, world championship of checkers here. Jerk.

And yesterday, he was driving me, my parents, and my sister home from dinner. It was raining and the highway was very wet. For whatever reason, he was in one of his awkward, intense moods that day, and started taking it out on driving. He was going WAY too fast and following cars WAY too close in the pouring rain. Downright dangerous. My sister told him to slow down. He told her it's fine and he's being safe. My mom, who is all about keeping the peace and being (too) nice to people, gently mentioned that it's twice the stopping distance in wet weather. He snapped back "if someone else wants to drive home they're more than welcome to." Wow! Thank God he got the hint after that and slowed down.

I dunno....... this behavior is a red flag to me.  He's been like this every since I met him, but as I get older I realize it more. And I don't like it at all.  Maybe at the ripe old age of 31 I just don't have tolerance for as**oles anymore.

That definitely does sound like red flag behaviour to me as well....the question I have is how did your nephew react to being shouted at like that? Did he react as if this was very normal behaviour?

My IA: My brother in law- sister's husband. They've been married over 10 years. They live down south, so only come up to Ohio to visit our family once or twice a year. Often my sister, who I love dearly, will try to coincide with my trips back from the UK so we can see each other.

I don't just care for how he is as a person- neither does the rest of my family. We're cordial and everything. In fairness, sometimes he's perfectly fine. But other many times, he's quite difficult to connect and talk to. He's the most intense, highly strung person I've met. Low tolerance and low patience for anything and everything. Plus, he has some odd ways of controlling my sister that she doesn't even see/would never acknowledge as they're practically attached at the hip....... it's sad.

This last visit over the weekend didn't go so well, and he frankly pissed us right off. He's not a kid person (been estranged for years from his kids from his first marriage, but that's a whole other can of worms), but was playing checkers with my 7 year old nephew (other sister's son). My nephew is a very fun little boy- he was laughing during the game, being cheeky, taking shortcuts while playing. Everything was fine. Then, something snapped in my BIL and he actually yelled and cursed at him to play the game the "correct" way. WTH?? He's only 7. This is not some serious, world championship of checkers here. Jerk.

And yesterday, he was driving me, my parents, and my sister home from dinner. It was raining and the highway was very wet. For whatever reason, he was in one of his awkward, intense moods that day, and started taking it out on driving. He was going WAY too fast and following cars WAY too close in the pouring rain. Downright dangerous. My sister told him to slow down. He told her it's fine and he's being safe. My mom, who is all about keeping the peace and being (too) nice to people, gently mentioned that it's twice the stopping distance in wet weather. He snapped back "if someone else wants to drive home they're more than welcome to." Wow! Thank God he got the hint after that and slowed down.

I dunno....... this behavior is a red flag to me.  He's been like this every since I met him, but as I get older I realize it more. And I don't like it at all.  Maybe at the ripe old age of 31 I just don't have tolerance for as**oles anymore.

Does he have aspergers/ASD? It doesn't excuse the behaviour at all, just could explain some of it. He needs therapy

I hope your sister is OK, the driving so unsafely is worrying. My mom finally divorced my dad after he forced her into the car while he was too intoxicated to drive safely. Taking risks with another person's life in a vehicle is just absolutely not OK in any circumstances.

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On the other hand, this guy is hanging out with his in laws isn't he?  I can see why he might get cranky, especially if he's doing the driving and there's several passengers criticising...

And the kid who he lost it with is his kid?  Then maybe it's a bigger problem than just part you saw.  For example, my kids will sit and continue to stare at their screens once we arrive at a destination in the car.  Even after I have got out of the car and am standing outside waiting on them.  Even after I have told them nicely several times to put away the screens in plenty of time for them to finish up and put everything away.  To the normal observer who doesn't know all that and that we've had this problem many times before, I  look like an impatient maniac loosing his sh*t in the car park at innocent looking kids.  Only I know that they are winding me up and actually deserve to have their screens thrown in the river.

To the normal observer who doesn't know all that and that we've had this problem many times before, I  look like an impatient maniac loosing his sh*t in the car park at innocent looking kids.  Only I know that they are winding me up and actually deserve to have their screens thrown in the river.

I'm dying laughing imaging this.

To be fair, I pretty well lost it with my 4 year old this morning who was making a HUGE deal about her UNIFORM.  Hello - I didn't pick it.  I too probably looked pretty mean to an outside observer.

That being said, I suspect Karlee's spidey sense is probably correct.  Especially as she's seen him/his behavior on more than one occassion.

No, it wasn't his kid. It was my other sister's son, so his (and my) nephew. He's estranged from his kids. Had no right to get all yelly and serious like that, especially with a 7 year old he only sees once or twice a year. My nephew wasn't being disrespectful or anything (we were all right there)- just a little boy having fun and playing a game. It was really bizarre. That's how he is a lot of the time... he's okay, then something, as small or ridiculous as it may be, triggers him and he goes off the deep end.

It's funny you mentioned the ADD. Years ago my sister disclosed that he was diagnosed with ADHD as a teen. However, he refuses to see a counseler or take anything for it as he "doesn't believe in that kind of stuff"  To my knowledge, he hasn't been tested or diagnosed for anything else. However, with his behavior... I would be shocked if he didn't have something else going on. I've worked with autistic people, I've learned a lot about autism in school- he has many characteristics of Asperger's. My sister is so used to it that she barely notices and just shrugs it off. But for the outsider, and even for our family, his behavior is abnormal. It's really not right. We've tried talking to her about his behavior before, and she passively says "Well, that's just Andy."

If he got some help for his ADHD, and for whatever else he has going on, I think he would be a MUCH easier person to deal with. It's too bad. Life is way too short to be angry and serious all the time.

He actually likes and respects the in laws (my parents). He's not a people person, and they're actually one of the few out there he "approves" of. And I don't care. If you're putting your passengers' lives at risk by driving dangerously, you deserve to be criticized.  It was pouring rain and he was speeding and tailgating. Safety over being critical.

No, it wasn't his kid. It was my other sister's son, so his (and my) nephew. He's estranged from his kids from his first marriage. Had no right to get all yelly and serious like that, especially with a 7 year old he only sees once or twice a year. My nephew wasn't being disrespectful or anything (we were all right there)- just a little boy having fun and playing a game. It was really bizarre. That's how he is a lot of the time... he's okay, then something, as small or ridiculous as it may be, triggers him and he goes off the deep end.

It's funny you mentioned the ADD. Years ago my sister disclosed that he was diagnosed with ADHD as a teen. However, he refuses to see a counseler or take anything for it as he "doesn't believe in that kind of stuff"  To my knowledge, he hasn't been tested or diagnosed for anything else. However, with his behavior... I would be shocked if he didn't have something else going on. I've worked with autistic people, I've learned a lot about autism in school- he has many characteristics of Asperger's. My sister is so used to it that she barely notices and just shrugs it off. But for the outsider, and even for our family, his behavior is abnormal. It's really not right. We've tried talking to her about his behavior before, and she passively says "Well, that's just Andy."

If he got some help for his ADHD, and for whatever else he has going on, I think he would be a MUCH easier person to deal with. It's too bad. Life is way too short to be angry and serious all the time.

He actually likes and respects the in laws (my parents). He's not a people person, and they're actually one of the few out there he "approves" of. And I don't care. If you're putting your passengers' lives at risk by driving dangerously, you deserve to be criticized.  It was pouring rain and he was speeding and tailgating. Safety over being critical.

Oh wow.  I thought it was his step-kid.  Didn't realise it was a child he saw rarely.  Yikes!