Can my sons mother in law have our grand daughter adopted

Did you ever post the exact wording of your refusal letter?  There are several people on the forum who are good at parsing refusals, we may be able to give you some ideas, but we need to see the exact words.

Unfortunately, most shelters are only allowed to assist those in their county of residence only and I've called and visited churches as well.

The key to that sentence is most shelters, it is not all shelters that are limited in supporting only those in their county. Be careful that you aren't wording it as 'if my mother throws me out' but as ' I will have absolutely no place to live as of (insert date)'

Also, my mom won't let me get a job, WIC and foodstamps both offer ree babysitting services as long as you have a job, but I don't have a car, or anybody able to take me to and from work, trust me, if I could have a job I would have been working for the pas

Your mother won't let you get a job?  I have a grown daughter living with me, and I cannot legally prevent her from working if she so chooses, whether or not I approve of her job.  Unless she is legally your guardian, there isn't much a mother can prohibit a grown daughter from doing.  

Does she not see that she could "get her life back" if you had a job and the means to move out?  If you feel you can't currently leave the country, please go to the nearest women's center to see what they can do to help you and your child gain some independence.  They may have solutions you've never thought about, including private charities.  From what I've read here:  1.  You and your child cannot continue living with your mother.  2.  You and your child cannot currently travel to a place where you could be reunited with your husband.  3.  You do not want to be on the street with a baby.  4.  You cannot afford to rent or purchase housing.  These things mean that you will have to take the necessary steps to quickly secure food and shelter for yourself and your child.  It will not be easy for you, but you must.  

Is there anywhere close you can walk to work?  My own daughter had to do this when she first got a job and had no transport.  Would a part-time job qualify you for WIC, food stamps or subsidized housing?  If so, please consider it.  What types of child care can you be helped with, and where are the providers located?  Could you also walk to one of them, with your daughter in a stroller?

I've been laid off a couple times, and had to apply for Section 8.  The list here was 5 months long, but people who were facing imminent homelessness were rushed to the top of the list.  You are facing imminent homelessness.  This may be the case where you live.  I did have to pay $10 for my own police check, and brought them the printout.  I never had to use it, because I (ironically) started a temp-to-perm assignment the day a unit became available, and no longer qualified.      

I know what it is like to be a single parent, because my ex left me with a toddler daughter, and I couldn't afford to live where we were.  I had friends help me, but I had to take a lot of initiative myself.  We ended up an a 615 sq. ft., 1-bedroom (we shared it) apartment for 6.5 years, but it was safe, affordable shelter.

You cannot let your situation remain stagnant.  It will not improve, and you will not gain the life you want sitting in place.  People here have offered you help, and given you some ideas to pursue.  I sincerely wish you and the child the best of luck.  Please let us know how you are doing.      

You are getting some good advice here fizzy love.

I am so glad you are posting on here.

Thank you all for helping my daughter in law and grand daughter and for your continuing support of me.

Love pads x

If I remember correctly (it's been a while), your husband is renting a 3-bedroom(?) house?  So perhaps he could downsize to something a bit cheaper, just temporarily so that you can get through the visa application - would that get you over the financial threshold? 

Fizzy, let your daughter go live with her father in the UK.  Let him apply for working tax credits.  Do this before April and you'll qaulfy for a Spouse visa.  Do this now and you'll be in the UK together, forever, within a few week.  I appreciate it'll cause your daugther some short term distress.  It beats a lifetime away from her father though.

Good luck though, either way.

We included in my visa application that she would qualify for child tax credits, and they considered that in their decision making and STILL said he didn't make enough so no that wouldn't help

Shall I rephrase lol I have called EACH AND EVERY SHELTER within a 50 mile radius and each of then ARE only month long temporary shelters...

And as far as allowing my daughter to live with my husband for the time being, I only have as many benefits as I do because of her, if I didn't have her I wouldn't be getting my $367 in foodstamps per minth, WIC or Medicaid and shelters are a LOT more likely to take me in with a baby tgen by myself besides, as I've mentioned, my husband doesn't have the money to fly over either way...

I've been to my local housing office WHILE HOMELESS and the waiting list is one year no matter what your circumstances, I currently recieve all benefits allowed to me, Foodstamps, WIC, Medicaid and have spoken to WIC and foostamps about the free babysiting ervices that they ptovide as long ss you have a job, the nearest babysitter's 10 miles away...and so with no car, living ij the boonies liles away from any available jobs, and no prospects of help from my mother therefore can not get a job..

For the non-US folk who aren't familiar with the US housing assistance system, and for you Fizzy, because this is something I know about, here's some info about the 3 most common programs:

Section 8 Housing (the simplified version):

There are 2 types, apartment projects with 'project based' Section 8 (also called PBRA, or Project-Based Rental Assistance), where you live if income-qualified, if an appropriate unit is vacant and your name comes to the top of a waiting list. This is privately owned, but federally subsidized. In Lake County, essentially all are in Gary, East Chicago and Hammond. Applications would need to be made to each project, and here's the list:

http://www.hud.gov/apps/section8/results.cfm?city_name_text=&county_name_text=Lake&zip_code=&property_name_text=&client_group_type=&maxrec=20&state_code=IN&statename=Indiana

Section 8 Vouchers:

These are tenant-based. You are issued a Voucher, and you find an apartment where a landlord is willing to accept the Voucher. The unit has to be appropriate for the family size, and the rent + utilities (also called gross rent) must be within the Fair Market Rents established by HUD or the Payment Standard established by the local housing authority, which is sometimes higher. You will also be responsible for utilities, but the utility allowance is considered when calculating your part of the rent. In both cases, you pay no more than 30% of your adjusted gross income, but some housing authorities have adopted a minimum tenant contribution of $25 or $50.

You may apply (and should apply) to multiple Sec. 8 offices, as you can use the Voucher issued by one agency in another area, including out of state. This is called 'portability'. Waiting lists in northern Indiana and the Chicago metro area are very long, but the homeless do get priority as do certain other family situations; it still could take months or years to get a Voucher, but if you don't apply, you will NEVER get one.

Public Housing:

This is a totally different program, run by a local Housing Authority. Waiting lists vary, and some of these places are not the greatest, though many have been completely re-built over the past few years under a federal program called HOPE VI. The largest HA's are in Gary, Hammond and East Chicago. This is a list of all Housing Authorities in Indiana:

http://www.hud.gov/offices/pih/pha/contacts/states/in.cfm

In most cases for Sec. 8 housing (the first type), you would need to have a credit and criminal check for each application, but I noted that many are the same management firm. Don't just call and ask, and if they say 'nothing available', give up - you still need to apply. If the Housing Authority staff say that the waiting list for Vouchers is closed (which it can be), ask for contacts for emergency housing for homeless or imminently homeless.

Hope this helps.

Cedar Lake is out in the boonies, and unless things have changed, the closest jobs would likely be in Merrillville. Plus public transportation is pretty limited unless you are in Gary, Hammond or EC. And granted, I wouldn't want to live in most areas of Gary, but if that's what you have to do, well, needs must. You have to be pro-active.

Thanks Vadio I am so glad she has found someone who knows the area.  I know nothing about it and I know absolutely nothing about the US system if she was here I would be able to help get council housing etc as that is something I know about but she isn't here lol x

Love pads x

We included in my visa application that she would qualify for child tax credits, and they considered that in their decision making and STILL said he didn't make enough so no that wouldn't help

If/when you apply for a spousal visa, they will consider the child tax credits if your husband is already claiming them.  He isn't, therefore they didn't.  Also you applied for a visitor visa didn't you? 

What is the exact wording of the refusal?

And as far as allowing my daughter to live with my husband for the time being, I only have as many benefits as I do because of her, if I didn't have her I wouldn't be getting my $367 in foodstamps per minth, WIC or Medicaid and shelters are a LOT more likely to take me in with a baby tgen by myself besides, as I've mentioned, my husband doesn't have the money to fly over either way...

You'd only be apart from your daugher for a matter of weeks though, you could go in a hotel for that amount of time if you really had to.

You/your husband must really have the money to fly over as you were intending to fly there if you got the visit visa presumably?

OiNo, my husband and I were goinh to be relying on bot

h sides of our family to hep us pay for the plane ticket...and therefore, the cheapest hotel in my area is $240 a week, which is almost $1,000 per month, which is over half of my husbands monthly paycheck which he cannot afford to to send he has our house and bills to pay for...and thank you soooo much for helping to better explain how things work around here Vadio? I hope I spelt that correctly, apologies if not xxx