Moving to the UK advice

A LOT of members have cried in grocery stores.  I have not.

My meltdown came when it was cold and rainy in August and I had a coat on but wished I had a scarf.  I sobbed.  I've never wanted a coat and scarf in August before!  There was no summer that year (okay, there was a week in April).

I broke down and cried in Tesco when I couldn't figure out where the corn syrup or vegetable shortening was and my husband couldn't understand what I wanted. I'd been here less than a month...
It didn't happen again but it was rough.

I remember trying to grocery shop on my own when I was there on vacation. I mentioned in a previous post that I had an unexpected week there when "The Beast from the East" hit and I got snowed in and missed my flight. They couldn't rebook me for another week, so I got a lot of "alone" time when my husband returned to work. I couldn't find ANYTHING. They don't have the same brands as us...I obviously didn't know my way around the store, and I have no idea which products are good, which aren't so good, whereas at home I just -know-

By the way, I LOVE your signature! So cute <3

A LOT of members have cried in grocery stores.  I have not.

My meltdown came when it was cold and rainy in August and I had a coat on but wished I had a scarf.  I sobbed.  I've never wanted a coat and scarf in August before!  There was no summer that year (okay, there was a week in April).

Awwwww.  The "weee-beeee-beee" factor. That's no fun.

I have not cried in a grocery store. I have been bewildered and frustrated - tomato sauce? Where is the tomato sauce? (Sorry, miss, I don't know that that product is.)

The Daughter has stood in the grocery store, early on, staring at stuff at the shelves long enough that nice old ladies have come and asked her what she was needing, and helped her find it.

You can get ~almost~ the same type of food here you can get in the States. It's often called something else. And they've got some lovely things here you can't get in the States. (Be careful, they're addictive!)

Hello everyone!

I'm still in America, waiting on a reply from the Spousal Visa application and I am hoping to be in England by September! *fingers crossed* During that time I've been packing my things, organizing a garage sale, figuring out what to do with my car/cell provider/etc. All of this has kept my mind pretty preoccupied as many of you understand.

Me and my husband have been long distance for three years. (we were married in June 2018, and spent two days together while married and then he flew home )

 We've seen each other plenty of times, but our longest stretch of time together in the same place was three weeks. During that time we got an -idea- of what it will be like to live together, though we won't truly know until I'm there. Additionally, I wasn't working or doing the "daily grind" when I was visiting, whereas once I move I'll start looking for jobs and getting into daily life.

My question is for any of you who went from long distance to living together. How long did it take to feel normal? Or, to get used to actually being together? We're pros at long distance, but haven't had the pleasure of living together or being able to be a normal couple. It's something we've wanted for so long, but it's also going to be a huge change in our relationship.

I'm really independent. I have a full time job, my own bank account, a car in my name, and I pay my own rent, health insurance, etc. I know that when I move to the UK I'll end up relying on my husband a bit, and have to put a few things in his name. That's totally fine-we're a team! However, I've spoken to a few people who immigrated to the UK and they said the first six months was the hardest. I really don't want to become depressed or cling to my husband. But I'm also leaving behind my family and a few wonderful best friends and I won't know anyone else. On top of that, he lives about 2 hours from anyone either of us knows. He's really shy and hasn't made many friends of his own in his new place. That being said, I am NOT shy whatsoever, and we both think that once we're together we will both be much much happier and more motivated to do things. We've been waiting for so long, finally being together is all we want!

What advice do you have for:
1. Finally being together and dealing with the good/bad times that come with that after being long distance for so long? I am really keen on my personal space and "me time" which he is well aware of, but we've not had to deal with our own quirks while living together. We've discussed our likes/dislikes and personal preferences and I have full confidence that we're going to enjoy living together! I think I'm just worried about certain things getting in the way, like things that we haven't had to deal with being apart.

2. Dealing with some possible isolation. I fear that not having my best friends and family around will get to me once the excitement of moving passes. We'll be living in the city center, and I'll be near the train/bus station so I'll have a way to get around without relying on my husband. He moved across the street from the station for me. (He's so sweet )

Do you have any suggestions for activities in the UK that aren't as common in the US. What have you guys discovered you love about the UK that just isn't around in the US? I love taking walks, and there's plenty of that in the UK! I actually love the cold/rainy weather in the UK. I live in Louisiana and the hot, humid weather is disgusting. I will not miss it.

I think I'm just getting nervous as the clock ticks closer to my departure. (well hopefully, if my visa is approved)

Thanks guys.

Congrats on moving soon..YAY  .cant wait to hear your thoughts.. you wrote down so many things I have had on my mind for when I finally get to move..
Can i ask how long ago did you file for your Spousal Visa and how long do you expect it to take to be approved. My fiance is coming over the 23rd of October and we plan on getting married the 28th and he fly's back Nov 3rd. I will send my spousal application at the end of October or the 1st of November... anything i need to know when filing this? Any hints I should be aware of ?  How did your biometric appointment go and how long after sending your app in did you go for it?  Sorry for all the questions.

Congrats on moving soon..YAY  .cant wait to hear your thoughts.. you wrote down so many things I have had on my mind for when I finally get to move..
Can i ask how long ago did you file for your Spousal Visa and how long do you expect it to take to be approved. My fiance is coming over the 23rd of October and we plan on getting married the 28th and he fly's back Nov 3rd. I will send my spousal application at the end of October or the 1st of November... anything i need to know when filing this? Any hints I should be aware of ?  How did your biometric appointment go and how long after sending your app in did you go for it?  Sorry for all the questions.

Don't apologize! It feels so good to help others! I'm glad that my thoughts have helped!

I paid priority, but I applied in June so it's taking "longer than usual" and I am currently on 35 BD, most people are receiving their "decision made" emails within 37-40 so hopefullly any day now. Since you're applying in November, if you pay priority, you might hear back quicker than that!! If you don't pay priority, it will take longer.

We were married 14 June. I applied online 15 June  I made my biometrics appointment for 18 June, and then sent it all off the same day. Sheffield e-mailed me on 20 June and I've been waiting ever since. 

Make sure that you have all of your physical documents, i.e. appendix 2, financial documents, accommodation, relationship evidence, etc. in order before you submit anything online. If you submit online and do biometrics without having your physical documents ready to go, you only have 5 days to post it all in the mail and you won't have enough time for your husband to send you all of the documents. You will see conflicting accounts of how long you have to send your docs. Don't believe it, just trust that it's 5 days. You don't want to take your time and then be refused because it arrived in Sheffield too late.

Hints...let's see....well, make sure when you do any payments (while doing the online app) that you don't have any sort of ad-blocker up. It blocked one of my payments and I had to wait 30 minutes to try again and I had a panic attack.  Additionally, make sure that your credit card or method of payment has a high enough limit. I had a hard time with my bank, as my spending limit for 1 day was set at $3,000 and my spending amount for the visa was about $4,000. If your card is declined, then you'll have to restart/wait and it'll be a hassle. When you use the VFS website for your labels, make sure that you get Sheffield Roundtrip ( assuming you are sending them and want them sent back to you) Which costed me $256. Additionally, don't forget to include the return label inside your package. If you pay for priority, MAKE SURE you print the receipt and put it ON TOP of your application. Write "Priority Settlement Processing" in big black letters on the outside of your package. That way, your package will be lumped with priority and when they open it, they'll see the proof right there on top.

My biometrics appointment was a breeze. However, finding the USCIS building was a nightmare to find. I had to go right in the middle of downtown New Orleans on the rainiest of days. I had my documents in my backpack, desperate to keep it dry while it poured and I searched around Poydras Street to find the building. It was this little side building down an alley and then I had to go up to the top floor to find the building.  I arrived for my appointment early but they let me in since no one was in front of me. You need your passport and biometric confirmation sheet (Which you will get when you complete your online application and schedule your appointment) The actual appointment was fine. I walked in, they took my passport/confirmation sheet, took my fingerprints, took my photo and they engaged in pleasant conversation. It literally took 10 minutes.

All of my congrats to you, by the way!

My fiance is coming over the 23rd of October and we plan on getting married the 28th and he fly's back Nov 3rd. I will send my spousal application at the end of October or the 1st of November... anything i need to know when filing this? Any hints I should be aware of ?  How did your biometric appointment go and how long after sending your app in did you go for it?  Sorry for all the questions.

You are going to want to start your research now so that you know exactly which documents he will need to bring with him when he comes over. What you need will depend on your circumstances and how you intend to meet the financial requirements.
Probably the most important thing is not to submit the online application until you are completely ready with all your supporting documents in hand.
It won't take long to get a biometrics appointment, that's the easy part! 

Don't apologize! It feels so good to help others! I'm glad that my thoughts have helped!

I paid priority, but I applied in June so it's taking "longer than usual" and I am currently on 35 BD, most people are receiving their "decision made" emails within 37-40 so hopefullly any day now. Since you're applying in November, if you pay priority, you might hear back quicker than that!! If you don't pay priority, it will take longer.

We were married 14 June. I applied online 15 June  I made my biometrics appointment for 18 June, and then sent it all off the same day. Sheffield e-mailed me on 20 June and I've been waiting ever since. 

Make sure that you have all of your physical documents, i.e. appendix 2, financial documents, accommodation, relationship evidence, etc. in order before you submit anything online. If you submit online and do biometrics without having your physical documents ready to go, you only have 5 days to post it all in the mail and you won't have enough time for your husband to send you all of the documents. You will see conflicting accounts of how long you have to send your docs. Don't believe it, just trust that it's 5 days. You don't want to take your time and then be refused because it arrived in Sheffield too late.

Hints...let's see....well, make sure when you do any payments (while doing the online app) that you don't have any sort of ad-blocker up. It blocked one of my payments and I had to wait 30 minutes to try again and I had a panic attack.  Additionally, make sure that your credit card or method of payment has a high enough limit. I had a hard time with my bank, as my spending limit for 1 day was set at $3,000 and my spending amount for the visa was about $4,000. If your card is declined, then you'll have to restart/wait and it'll be a hassle. When you use the VFS website for your labels, make sure that you get Sheffield Roundtrip ( assuming you are sending them and want them sent back to you) Which costed me $256. Additionally, don't forget to include the return label inside your package. If you pay for priority, MAKE SURE you print the receipt and put it ON TOP of your application. Write "Priority Settlement Processing" in big black letters on the outside of your package. That way, your package will be lumped with priority and when they open it, they'll see the proof right there on top.

My biometrics appointment was a breeze. However, finding the USCIS building was a nightmare to find. I had to go right in the middle of downtown New Orleans on the rainiest of days. I had my documents in my backpack, desperate to keep it dry while it poured and I searched around Poydras Street to find the building. It was this little side building down an alley and then I had to go up to the top floor to find the building.  I arrived for my appointment early but they let me in since no one was in front of me. You need your passport and biometric confirmation sheet (Which you will get when you complete your online application and schedule your appointment) The actual appointment was fine. I walked in, they took my passport/confirmation sheet, took my fingerprints, took my photo and they engaged in pleasant conversation. It literally took 10 minutes.

All of my congrats to you, by the way!

wow... I am glad you found the building...that is stressful enough in itself... I will be going to Lubbock TX since I am in Amarillo, just a hour and a half away, hope it will be easy to find, I hate driving there LOL.. Thank you so much for the advice, due to financial situations will not be applying Priority but, maybe it will not take too long..my last day at work will be the end of the year and I know it could still be a few weeks after that it gets approved..
You will more than likely see me back here with more questions LOL..  Again, thank you 

wow... I am glad you found the building...that is stressful enough in itself... I will be going to Lubbock TX since I am in Amarillo, just a hour and a half away, hope it will be easy to find, I hate driving there LOL.. Thank you so much for the advice, due to financial situations will not be applying Priority but, maybe it will not take too long..my last day at work will be the end of the year and I know it could still be a few weeks after that it gets approved..
You will more than likely see me back here with more questions LOL..  Again, thank you 

My wonderful dad drove me to New Orleans (3 hour drive) so I wouldn't be alone. He didn't want me "Driving alone in such a stressed state of mind"

You're welcome! There are loads of people on this forum, many much more experienced than I, who are happy to answer your questions. It's really, really fresh in my mind as I JUST did it. I'm happy I could help! Hopefully your non-priority track doesn't take too long!!

I love grocery shopping here. I've been here over a year and I'll still spend an hour looking at products. It's one of my favourite hobbies.



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I love grocery shopping here. I've been here over a year and I'll still spend an hour looking at products. It's one of my favourite hobbies.

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I'm glad it's not just me. I STILL find new stuff when wandering the aisles.

I'm glad it's not just me. I STILL find new stuff when wandering the aisles.

I'm going to try that canned sweet macaroni one day! Lol

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This is such a wonderful thread. As someone who is only in the beginning planning stages of our move a long ways out, there is a lot of good advice in here. The closest I can come to relate is I grew up in Florida and moved to Seattle when I was 25 (3,000 miles) with all my family still in FL. Been in Seattle 20 years now.  Granted moving to a different COUNTRY is different but I can relate to not seeing my family during holidays (because of my job, I went 8 yrs  not being able to go home for any holidays), wanting to call/Skype them in the evening only to remember they were already in bed, and there was a cultural different between East coast (especially SOUTH East) and West coast.

But reading through all the posts, a few things did pop in my mind.

1.) Don't forget HIM -   While this will be a big change for you, it's also going to be a big change for him. Like some people said, people don't realize how "disruptive" (and I don't mean that in a bad way) it is all of a sudden having someone else live in your house, wanting your time & attention, doing things differently from you...even if you love them. He's going to go through an adjustment period as well, just as you are. So as long as you both as on this adventure together and willing to each do things differently, it should be fun. AND... being respectful of the other. At work we have a saying: "Disagree but commit". You (or him) don't have to be "right" all the time or be the winner. You guys are in this adventure together so instead of trying to figure out how HE would do things or how YOU would do things.... this is your chance to figure out who YOU BOTH would do things as a team. He'll learn things from you, and you'll learn things from him.

2.) Arguments/Communication - This is that one area that I think few people really "get right" in a relationship. I think the big thing for each person to learn BEFORE the arguments is... how does the other person like to process it? What I mean is... is he the type of person who like to talk about it right now until you both have come to a conclusion no matter how late it is? Are you the type of person who likes to "cool off" first and then come back and talk about it calmly?   When you know how the other person likes to handle arguments, I think the couple works through things better. I like to cool off first. Otherwise I might say things I don't mean to say just to try and make my point. My husband likes to talk about things RIGHT NOW. In the beginning, it almost split us up. Once we talked about how we prefer to handle disagreements, we started working together much better. I've also just had to learn that sometimes I need to just keep my mouth shut even if I think I'm right because if something happened to him the next day and he were laying in a hospital.... would that argument over how to load the dishwasher REALLY matter that much? Or could I have just accepted we do thing differently and... thats OK.    Culturally, it would also be interesting to find out do Brits argue differently then Americans? (I know, very general).

3.) Own Identity - You are all so right, you need your OWN identity. When I met my ex, he had so many interesting things going on but then he dropped them all and his life basically revolved around mine. He was like clay. It was kind of sad. I even tried encouraging him to go do the things he used to love doing but it was always "I love being around you."   So when my husband and I met, that was one of the top things we talked about. We have own time together but we also have our time apart. Its ok if he wants to go hang out with friends one night. (For example, he is a musician/singer and on Wednesday nights he usually goes straight from work up to a Celtic music session at one of the Irish pubs. I've been to so many of them I get bored so I dont go anymore. This gives us at least 1 night a week for each of to do whatever we want).   Yes, we love spending time together and exploring. But we also need to have time to do things on our own so we can come back to one another and say "Oh my god, let me tell you about my day."     And maybe picking a "Me Day" each week that you each can go off and do whatever you want without that worry. Maybe its just so he can have a day in the house by himself once in a while. Maybe just so you can go out and meet new friends who are YOURS (and not OURS).

4. Budget to buy things together - I know what a big move you can't take everything with you and he may already have a fully stocked house but... maybe budget a few hundred pounds for when you get there that the two of you will go shopping together and buy a new couch that meets BOTH of your personality, or some new art work together, or new plates, etc. Maybe there is stuff around his house he's not attached too and he would like to replace WITH you. Once you start having those experiences together ("Our first piece of artwork we bought together", "Our first couch") you start building that shared life together. It likes when you first meet someone and you hang out with them and their friends. They are all joking about times they've shared together or inside jokes and you feel like an outsider. But then after awhile, you start to be able to say "Remember when we..."  So start building those memories together. I love going furniture/decoration shopping with my husband. He usually picks out the stuff but he's got good taste. But I can look around our house and remember when we bought that first piece of artwork (yup, still got it) or the reason we bought that specific dining room table, etc.  So budget to replace some stuff together. Plus it helps you feel like "OH! I just bought my first British piece of furniture!" haha

5. Meeting new people - I have to say, aside from all of the great info I've found on here, this is the exact reason why I'm on this site (and a number of other expat sites and Facebook pages). To try and start to get to know people over there before I get there. Now, luckily nearly all of his amazing family lives over there up North and I've known them for 10 of the 14 years we've been together so we have a built in support system already there. But we'll definitely need local friends. And I'll want some American's I can meet up with when I'm just needing that fix of familiarity. So I'm hoping that once I get over there, I'll be able to finally meet up with some of you and put a face to a name. That would be wonderful. But I think you are doing the right thing. You are reaching out and trying to meet people NOW. It is lonely when you move somewhere and don't know anyone. I think meeting people online is so much easier for me, personally. My husband is VERY out going so I tend to meet people through him. But again, it'll be good to have a couple friends who are YOURS and then those friends who you both spend time with. God knows you'll need that one special friend you can just b*tch about your husband to. hahaaha Just do some Facebook search for whatever city you'll be living in (or county) and maybe an area of interest, like "Bedfordshire Dog lovers" or something like that. You're bound to find a bunch of different things and then just slowly get to know people online and then maybe meet up once you get over there.


And I leave you with some lyrics that always hit home for me when I think back to when I moved from Florida to Seattle from a song by Toad the Wet Sprocket:

And half an hour later we packed up our things
We said we'd send letters and all those little things
And they knew we were lying but they smiled just the same
It seemed they'd already forgotten we'd came
Now we're back at the homestead
Where the air makes you choke
And people don't know you
And trust is a joke


You could always stay where you are in the safety of what you've always known or.... you can see life as an adventure worth exploring and see what exciting things are out there. I'm excited for you!

I'm going to try that canned sweet macaroni one day! Lol

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Wait... What?! I've not seen that!

Wait... What?! I've not seen that!

Look next to the canned rice pudding/Ambrosia.

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This is such a wonderful thread. As someone who is only in the beginning planning stages of our move a long ways out, there is a lot of good advice in here. The closest I can come to relate is I grew up in Florida and moved to Seattle when I was 25 (3,000 miles) with all my family still in FL. Been in Seattle 20 years now.  Granted moving to a different COUNTRY is different but I can relate to not seeing my family during holidays (because of my job, I went 8 yrs  not being able to go home for any holidays), wanting to call/Skype them in the evening only to remember they were already in bed, and there was a cultural different between East coast (especially SOUTH East) and West coast.

But reading through all the posts, a few things did pop in my mind.

1.) Don't forget HIM -   While this will be a big change for you, it's also going to be a big change for him. Like some people said, people don't realize how "disruptive" (and I don't mean that in a bad way) it is all of a sudden having someone else live in your house, wanting your time & attention, doing things differently from you...even if you love them. He's going to go through an adjustment period as well, just as you are. So as long as you both as on this adventure together and willing to each do things differently, it should be fun. AND... being respectful of the other. At work we have a saying: "Disagree but commit". You (or him) don't have to be "right" all the time or be the winner. You guys are in this adventure together so instead of trying to figure out how HE would do things or how YOU would do things.... this is your chance to figure out who YOU BOTH would do things as a team. He'll learn things from you, and you'll learn things from him.

2.) Arguments/Communication - This is that one area that I think few people really "get right" in a relationship. I think the big thing for each person to learn BEFORE the arguments is... how does the other person like to process it? What I mean is... is he the type of person who like to talk about it right now until you both have come to a conclusion no matter how late it is? Are you the type of person who likes to "cool off" first and then come back and talk about it calmly?   When you know how the other person likes to handle arguments, I think the couple works through things better. I like to cool off first. Otherwise I might say things I don't mean to say just to try and make my point. My husband likes to talk about things RIGHT NOW. In the beginning, it almost split us up. Once we talked about how we prefer to handle disagreements, we started working together much better. I've also just had to learn that sometimes I need to just keep my mouth shut even if I think I'm right because if something happened to him the next day and he were laying in a hospital.... would that argument over how to load the dishwasher REALLY matter that much? Or could I have just accepted we do thing differently and... thats OK.    Culturally, it would also be interesting to find out do Brits argue differently then Americans? (I know, very general).

3.) Own Identity - You are all so right, you need your OWN identity. When I met my ex, he had so many interesting things going on but then he dropped them all and his life basically revolved around mine. He was like clay. It was kind of sad. I even tried encouraging him to go do the things he used to love doing but it was always "I love being around you."   So when my husband and I met, that was one of the top things we talked about. We have own time together but we also have our time apart. Its ok if he wants to go hang out with friends one night. (For example, he is a musician/singer and on Wednesday nights he usually goes straight from work up to a Celtic music session at one of the Irish pubs. I've been to so many of them I get bored so I dont go anymore. This gives us at least 1 night a week for each of to do whatever we want).   Yes, we love spending time together and exploring. But we also need to have time to do things on our own so we can come back to one another and say "Oh my god, let me tell you about my day."     And maybe picking a "Me Day" each week that you each can go off and do whatever you want without that worry. Maybe its just so he can have a day in the house by himself once in a while. Maybe just so you can go out and meet new friends who are YOURS (and not OURS).

4. Budget to buy things together - I know what a big move you can't take everything with you and he may already have a fully stocked house but... maybe budget a few hundred pounds for when you get there that the two of you will go shopping together and buy a new couch that meets BOTH of your personality, or some new art work together, or new plates, etc. Maybe there is stuff around his house he's not attached too and he would like to replace WITH you. Once you start having those experiences together ("Our first piece of artwork we bought together", "Our first couch") you start building that shared life together. It likes when you first meet someone and you hang out with them and their friends. They are all joking about times they've shared together or inside jokes and you feel like an outsider. But then after awhile, you start to be able to say "Remember when we..."  So start building those memories together. I love going furniture/decoration shopping with my husband. He usually picks out the stuff but he's got good taste. But I can look around our house and remember when we bought that first piece of artwork (yup, still got it) or the reason we bought that specific dining room table, etc.  So budget to replace some stuff together. Plus it helps you feel like "OH! I just bought my first British piece of furniture!" haha

5. Meeting new people - I have to say, aside from all of the great info I've found on here, this is the exact reason why I'm on this site (and a number of other expat sites and Facebook pages). To try and start to get to know people over there before I get there. Now, luckily nearly all of his amazing family lives over there up North and I've known them for 10 of the 14 years we've been together so we have a built in support system already there. But we'll definitely need local friends. And I'll want some American's I can meet up with when I'm just needing that fix of familiarity. So I'm hoping that once I get over there, I'll be able to finally meet up with some of you and put a face to a name. That would be wonderful. But I think you are doing the right thing. You are reaching out and trying to meet people NOW. It is lonely when you move somewhere and don't know anyone. I think meeting people online is so much easier for me, personally. My husband is VERY out going so I tend to meet people through him. But again, it'll be good to have a couple friends who are YOURS and then those friends who you both spend time with. God knows you'll need that one special friend you can just b*tch about your husband to. hahaaha Just do some Facebook search for whatever city you'll be living in (or county) and maybe an area of interest, like "Bedfordshire Dog lovers" or something like that. You're bound to find a bunch of different things and then just slowly get to know people online and then maybe meet up once you get over there.


And I leave you with some lyrics that always hit home for me when I think back to when I moved from Florida to Seattle from a song by Toad the Wet Sprocket:

And half an hour later we packed up our things
We said we'd send letters and all those little things
And they knew we were lying but they smiled just the same
It seemed they'd already forgotten we'd came
Now we're back at the homestead
Where the air makes you choke
And people don't know you
And trust is a joke


You could always stay where you are in the safety of what you've always known or.... you can see life as an adventure worth exploring and see what exciting things are out there. I'm excited for you!

I'm so glad that this thread has turned up such positive relies. I was reading through and didn't see any posts (at least not recent) that really asked the questions I was curious about, so I started my own thread!!

In regard to point #1. I think about this a lot. He is constantly worried that he's "not good enough" or that he "won't be everything I dreamed of" and I keep reminding him that he is absolutely everything I've ever dreamed of. Working on a relationship would happen whether or not we had to deal with long distance first. I vow to try my best and understand that I am not the only one who is making sacrifices for us to be together. I never want to hold anything against him and feel like "I gave up everything" when he's dealing with his own changes too! I know we're both excited to be together. I think he'll be more willing to go out and do things when I'm there, whereas right now he kind of stays home and keeps to himself. That in itself is lonely.

Point #2. Yes! Communication is key. We've had wonderful and uncomfortable situations both over the phone, text, and in person. We've discussed personal things, giggled and laughed with one another, and always make sure to ask the other "how was your day?" We send daily selfies too! I can't stand problems that fester....we both have a good idea how the other is when it comes to arguments-however, in regard to my original post, we've not had to really deal with that while being in the same space. It's easy to set your phone down and step away. It isn't as easy when you're annoyed or angry with someone and they're right down the hall. I like to have some space because I tend to spew off nonsense when I'm upset and the last thing I want to do is say something mean, or something I regret. He is the same way. We address the issue, take a break, then re-visit it later. I hope it's something we can continue when we're in the same household.

Point #3. I am not clingy! I don't like clinginess...I need my space! That being said, we both have moments where we're like "gimme I wanna snuggle!" We feel it more when we're apart (for obvious reasons) but when we've been together a little while I notice that I'm like "ok we got our snuggles in, I'm gonna go do this thing by myself now" One hobby we do together is video games. I love it! We each sit at our own computer, play separate games, but still lean in for a kiss now and then. It's much more enjoyable than doing it alone and communicating via chat. I don't want to cling to him, or become emotionally dependent on him. I am going to do everything in my power not to sink to that level. I want my own identity.

Point #5. I can't wait for us to buy some things together. We (kind of) have already, in the sense that he went to the store, took photos, and we discussed a wardrobe together via chat. Not the same thing, but it's something!

Point #6. Meeting new people....boy that's gonna be hard. one thing I've had a tough time dealing with is people here saying, "OH but you'll make new friends!!" The fact is, I don't want new friends. I want my old ones. And I think that mindset will be a negative one. I'm going to try to just put myself out there and come to terms with the fact that I won't ever live close to my best friends again. It's a very, very difficult thing to come to terms with. But I am trying. I won't truly know how it feels until I'm there. As much as I love my husband, I do not want him to be my only friend.

I am a big believer in adventure. Not doing things just because they're frightening is no way to live. I believe that life isn't meant to be lived in one spot.