Happy but still stressed?

Do you guys ever feel like you've got so much good going on in your life, but you are still letting every single thing stress you out?

I got the visa!! Got my plane ticket!!! Now I'm worrying about...transferring my money, doing this, doing that, packing, etc.
Sad to leave everyone but at the same time eager to just GO.
Missing my husband and sad that he isn't here to help me go through this.
Super busy because everyone wants to hang out with me! (I'm popular!) As it lingers in the back of my mind that I don't know when I'll see them again.

I'm SO worried I'll get to the UK...and then start panicking about the next thing. How did you guys relax?

Is it like this for everyone or is this just me?

Do you guys ever feel like you've got so much good going on in your life, but you are still letting every single thing stress you out?

I got the visa!! Got my plane ticket!!! Now I'm worrying about...transferring my money, doing this, doing that, packing, etc.
Sad to leave everyone but at the same time eager to just GO.
Missing my husband and sad that he isn't here to help me go through this.
Super busy because everyone wants to hang out with me! (I'm popular!) As it lingers in the back of my mind that I don't know when I'll see them again.

I'm SO worried I'll get to the UK...and then start panicking about the next thing. How did you guys relax?

Is it like this for everyone or is this just me?

Preparing to leave is a stressful time, there is so much to do within a finite time frame. I think once you arrive and you no longer have the pressure of a deadline, you'll be able to relax a bit. 
But it also depends on your personality, some people just naturally worry more than others.

Do you guys ever feel like you've got so much good going on in your life, but you are still letting every single thing stress you out?

I got the visa!! Got my plane ticket!!! Now I'm worrying about...transferring my money, doing this, doing that, packing, etc.
Sad to leave everyone but at the same time eager to just GO.
Missing my husband and sad that he isn't here to help me go through this.
Super busy because everyone wants to hang out with me! (I'm popular!) As it lingers in the back of my mind that I don't know when I'll see them again.

I'm SO worried I'll get to the UK...and then start panicking about the next thing. How did you guys relax?

Is it like this for everyone or is this just me?

I was so stressed until about two days after I got here then I realized I could breathe.  I unpacked my clothes and sat down and made a list (I’m a huge list maker; it verges on ocd). I’ve only been here three months and I have my name on bills, a bank account, a provisional license, a GP,  started the process to get registered here with my nursing license...the list goes on. It all happens in its own time.  I walk around the village to relax, binge Netflix and cook. You’ll find your flow once you’re here 

Those last couple of weeks before I moved were INSANE.  So so stressful.  I actually cancelled my last few meetups with friends as I was just finding it so draining.  They were wonderful and so understanding.

I struggled when I got to the UK with loneliness (I moved here by myself for work) and boredom.  But I had gone from 100mph to 5mph.

Just promise to be kind to yourself.  Know that you'll have bad days when you get here - and that is okay!  I know you will be grateful to be with your husband, but you will mourn your old life.  And he might mourn his old life a bit too.  Just be kind to each other and yourselves and you'll settle in soon enough. 

Oh yes, indeedy! The last few weeks were insane. I had wanted to get everything wrapped up so that we only had social and "last time to visit" time for that last week, but things didn't go to plan so I was putting in full days at work and then hauling furniture downstairs for pickup, and cleaning the apartment, until the day before we left. I never did get it all cleaned as I'd wanted, because I had pushed so hard that I caught what may have been a bit of the flu. Flew over to the UK sick as a dog, spent a couple of days recuperating in the hotel, and then very slowly (as in it took a couple of months) got back up to speed. Fortunately I'd been corresponding with the entity that owns our flats prior to traveling, so I had housing, hypothetically, lined up. So, we got in on a Sunday. Monday was a bank holiday. Tuesday and Wednesday we looked at flats. Thursday we signed the lease and went to Ikea to purchase furniture (the basics), furniture was delivered Saturday, and Sunday we moved in.

I did a LOT of sleeping the first couple of weeks. But what I do remember was that we were both really happy, the Daughter was looking forward to getting in touch with her old friends, and that the food here (in the grocery store) is spectacularly good.

We've been here over a year now, and I think the thing that got me through the time before the move was lists. I had checklists and was as faithful to them as I could be. There was no time to worry, as I had plenty to do.  Once you get here, as someone else said, going from like 100mph down to 5mph is kind of a jolt. But after only a short while you'll get used to it and it's really pleasant to NOT have lists, pressure, worry, and hurry!

My first visa didn't come through so when my second attempt did I left for Belfast within a few days (as soon as my visa would allow me into the UK). I'd been prepared to leave for weeks by that stage.

But I found that there's always something to stress about if you let yourself (and I tend to let myself).

You'll be with your husband soon and will be busy setting up your new life! Try to enjoy the little things as this is such a big moment for you.

Do you guys ever feel like you've got so much good going on in your life, but you are still letting every single thing stress you out?

I got the visa!! Got my plane ticket!!! Now I'm worrying about...transferring my money, doing this, doing that, packing, etc.
Sad to leave everyone but at the same time eager to just GO.
Missing my husband and sad that he isn't here to help me go through this.
Super busy because everyone wants to hang out with me! (I'm popular!) As it lingers in the back of my mind that I don't know when I'll see them again.

I'm SO worried I'll get to the UK...and then start panicking about the next thing. How did you guys relax?

Is it like this for everyone or is this just me?

We were 2 Brits returning to our most favorite place we've ever lived but were still extremely stressed when we made the move, so it is definitely not just you. The whole packing up your life of 29 years is really tough, plus the packing and shipping and buying a place in England etc.

Once our furniture arrived and we moved into our our new house it got a whole lot better really quickly as by then we had already sorted out bank accounts, driving licences, NHS etc.

It seems rather obvious to me, now, but at the time my professor was teaching the lesson on stress it was a revelation to be told that even good events are stressors and they can tax the body and mind.  The event may be a positive thing, and you may be looking forward to it, but it's still a stressor and you will need to devote resources to coping with it.  Too many stressors (good and/or bad) can overwhelm your ability to cope until you get a chance to regroup.

One of the difficulties in studying psychology as a science is that psychologists use everyday language in very specific ways.  The word stress is a good example.  Stress researchers define stressors as things that happen that require the utilization of resources.  Good things – having a baby, getting a new job, or winning an award - can be stressors.  Obviously, bad things can be stressors as well.

We feel distress when the resources demanded of us outstrip the resources we have. Distress is a negative emotional reaction to the output of resources (stress).

The example I use for my students is exams.  If you have one exam, you’re probably fine.  If it’s finals week and you have 5 exams in three days, you experience stress (putting out resources) and feel distress because the time and energy you have to meet those demands exceed those available to you.

Different people have different social, personal, and objective resources available to them and thus the demands made by a particular objective stressor may result in more or less experienced distress. And some stressors require a lot more resources than others.

from: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/thinking-about-kids/201001/stressors-stress-and-distress

You guys are the best. It's honestly confusing...to want something so badly, have done all the work for it, achieved it, and STILL manage to stress about stuff.

I tend to project my stress into small things. My weight, packing, this, that, etc. I'm in that weird-half packed up/half not packed yet stage so I've got like 5 outfits to wear and it's driving me nuts! LOL My last day at work is tomorrow and it's so bittersweet. I absolutely love my job, worked really hard to get this position and I've made such a good network for myself here and I'm letting it all go. This is definitely not a complaint! I'm SO excited to begin anew, but also mildly terrified. Not that my hard work has been for nothing of course, it's still on my CV and I have the experience, I think I'm just letting myself allow all of the reality in and focusing too much on that instead of the good part! I'm going to miss my boss very much. I consider him my "work dad" and he's come to my graduation, marriage ceremony and he's flying to England with his wife to attend my wedding. I'll never have another boss like that.

I'm SO excited for my wedding and it's almost all planned! I can't wait to see my husband, to see his family again (They've all welcomed me in as their own) but I am so sad to leave my own wonderful family and friends. I had a "daddy daughter date" with my dad last night and it occurred to me that it'll be the last one until who knows when.  I'm very close with my dad, so that reality hit my hard. My nieces are very young, and even in a year or so (however long it takes me to go back to visit) they'll change and that's a harsh reality of this move. Amist all of this excitement, I realize too that I'm trading time with my family to start my new life. It's really confusing to be so, so happy and sad at the same time. I hope I'm not coming off as having "cold feet" I'm not at all! This is what I want to do!! I think it's just all so real now, and it's like the visa was a light rain, and now that my dreams are all coming true it's pouring all over me.

It feels good to know that I'm not the only one.

Not cold feet at all. It’s perfectly normal. And you’re never alone here.

Preparing to leave is a stressful time, there is so much to do within a finite time frame. I think once you arrive and you no longer have the pressure of a deadline, you'll be able to relax a bit. 
But it also depends on your personality, some people just naturally worry more than others.

I'm definitely a worrier but I also try to be realistic...things usually tend to fall into place if you do them wisely. I'm trying to get all of my ducks in a row now so I'm not scrambling to do it in the UK

I was so stressed until about two days after I got here then I realized I could breathe.  I unpacked my clothes and sat down and made a list (I’m a huge list maker; it verges on ocd). I’ve only been here three months and I have my name on bills, a bank account, a provisional license, a GP,  started the process to get registered here with my nursing license...the list goes on. It all happens in its own time.  I walk around the village to relax, binge Netflix and cook. You’ll find your flow once you’re here 

I LOVE LISTS! They make the world go 'round!

Those last couple of weeks before I moved were INSANE.  So so stressful.  I actually cancelled my last few meetups with friends as I was just finding it so draining.  They were wonderful and so understanding.

I struggled when I got to the UK with loneliness (I moved here by myself for work) and boredom.  But I had gone from 100mph to 5mph.

Just promise to be kind to yourself.  Know that you'll have bad days when you get here - and that is okay!  I know you will be grateful to be with your husband, but you will mourn your old life.  And he might mourn his old life a bit too.  Just be kind to each other and yourselves and you'll settle in soon enough. 

Yes. I am going to be in the same boat. 100mph to 5mph. I'm looking forward to exploring, spending time with Tom, etc. I think moving will open up an entirely new world for me and while it's stressful to be thrown off course, I get to rebuild a new course for myself! Not many people get that opportunity, so I want to enjoy every part of it! If only I could stop worrying about every single little thing. I think I'll be okay, I'm just a huge ball of emotions right now.

I can't wait to settle in with him <3 I wanna do mundane things like laundry and dishes and cooking...! EEK

Oh yes, indeedy! The last few weeks were insane. I had wanted to get everything wrapped up so that we only had social and "last time to visit" time for that last week, but things didn't go to plan so I was putting in full days at work and then hauling furniture downstairs for pickup, and cleaning the apartment, until the day before we left. I never did get it all cleaned as I'd wanted, because I had pushed so hard that I caught what may have been a bit of the flu. Flew over to the UK sick as a dog, spent a couple of days recuperating in the hotel, and then very slowly (as in it took a couple of months) got back up to speed. Fortunately I'd been corresponding with the entity that owns our flats prior to traveling, so I had housing, hypothetically, lined up. So, we got in on a Sunday. Monday was a bank holiday. Tuesday and Wednesday we looked at flats. Thursday we signed the lease and went to Ikea to purchase furniture (the basics), furniture was delivered Saturday, and Sunday we moved in.

I did a LOT of sleeping the first couple of weeks. But what I do remember was that we were both really happy, the Daughter was looking forward to getting in touch with her old friends, and that the food here (in the grocery store) is spectacularly good.

We've been here over a year now, and I think the thing that got me through the time before the move was lists. I had checklists and was as faithful to them as I could be. There was no time to worry, as I had plenty to do.  Once you get here, as someone else said, going from like 100mph down to 5mph is kind of a jolt. But after only a short while you'll get used to it and it's really pleasant to NOT have lists, pressure, worry, and hurry!

Oh no! I've not felt sick yet...but I did notice that every time I go to the UK I get a cold or something for a few days. Maybe the jet-lag mixed with the weather? It's really hot here in South Louisiana, not so much in the UK!

Oh no! I've not felt sick yet...but I did notice that every time I go to the UK I get a cold or something for a few days. Maybe the jet-lag mixed with the weather? It's really hot here in South Louisiana, not so much in the UK!

You have to get used to the different bugs here! It's not unusual to have cold after cold for a while after moving.