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OMG, my family are killllllllllllling me.

I messaged my mum and my sister to tell them that I'd booked my flights for Thanksgiving... thought they'd be really excited.
But they came back with... oh, why did you do that so soon?  MC (my niece) is getting married in the autumn and we thought you might rather come out for the wedding instead of Thanksgiving.

THEY FORGOT TO TELL ME SHE'D GOT ENGAGED AT NEW YEAR! 
So, depending on when her wedding date is (they said they should know in the next couple of weeks), and if I can actually get my annual leave changed at work, I may need to change the dates of my flights.  Never done that before... I assume there will be a cost associated?

Families, eh?

Yeah, you'll have to pay a change fee.  Usually somewhat reasonable c£100. 

I feel for you.  If I had booked to go back and my family had asked why, I would seriously throw my toys out of the pram!

I feel for you.  If I had booked to go back and my family had asked why, I would seriously throw my toys out of the pram!

It's not so much WHY, but WHY SO SOON?
Ummm... not that any of you would know, because you've never flown anywhere, but generally the best prices for tickets are obtained when you book WELL in advance. 

I told them at 2018 THanksgiving that I would be coming for 2019 Thanksgiving, and that I'd be booking at new year.   Niece got engaged at Christmas, so they've had 2 weeks to tell me to hold fire, but they didn't.

I just hope I can get the time off, once they set a date.  I really would prefer to go for a wedding, over Thanksgiving.  But holiday time in this office is tight, and only 2 people are allowed off at a time.  If it's during any school holidays, I have ZERO chance.

  But holiday time in this office is tight, and only 2 people are allowed off at a time.  If it's during any school holidays, I have ZERO chance.

Could you feed this back to them?? Perhaps just say something like "could you let me know when you set a date so I can put in for the leave? Time is tight in my office, unfortunately..." and then maybe add something like "School holidays are during x-period so I may not be able to get off during that time because of it...". Then the ball is in their court and they won't be surprised if it's a date that you are unable to make.

It's not so much WHY, but WHY SO SOON?
Ummm... not that any of you would know, because you've never flown anywhere, but generally the best prices for tickets are obtained when you book WELL in advance. 

I told them at 2018 THanksgiving that I would be coming for 2019 Thanksgiving, and that I'd be booking at new year.   Niece got engaged at Christmas, so they've had 2 weeks to tell me to hold fire, but they didn't.

I just hope I can get the time off, once they set a date.  I really would prefer to go for a wedding, over Thanksgiving.  But holiday time in this office is tight, and only 2 people are allowed off at a time.  If it's during any school holidays, I have ZERO chance.

With a bit of luck, you'll be in a new job and when you accept your new position you can be all, "I already have a holiday booked for xxxxxx."

I'm sure it will all work out!

With a bit of luck, you'll be in a new job and when you accept your new position you can be all, "I already have a holiday booked for xxxxxx."

I'm sure it will all work out!

I've heard so many people ask "I'm waiting to hear back from a job...should I avoid booking off leave?!" and my response is always "ABSOLUTELY NOT! GET THOSE DAYS IN THERE!!" (assuming you'll have enough leave to be able to take it lol). In my opinion, it's better to say "sorry, I already had these days off" when starting a new role than to say "would I be able to book off xyz?"

Good luck albatross, hopefully not too much to change the flights and you all can be sorted okay!

Could you feed this back to them?? Perhaps just say something like "could you let me know when you set a date so I can put in for the leave? Time is tight in my office, unfortunately..." and then maybe add something like "School holidays are during x-period so I may not be able to get off during that time because of it...". Then the ball is in their court and they won't be surprised if it's a date that you are unable to make.

Yep, I did. 
(apart from telling them when the school holidays are, because I don't even know that!)

Yep, I did. 
(apart from telling them when the school holidays are, because I don't even know that!)

I know it's a bit of an extra pain, but I would maybe try to see if you can find out from some of the parent sin the office just so you can get an idea and let your family know. Just means that you can completely wipe your hands if it doesn't work out as you've done all that you could and gone above and beyond.

Your council probably has them online too 

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It has never done me wrong! It searches all kinds of obscure flights and gives you options to pick between legs.
I also really love the filters available.

Anyways, I hope that your flight change debacle is sorted soon Albatross! My brother didn't tell anyone he got married. He just did it and then told everyone after. I feel like at least you are getting some warning! Even if they dropped the ball and didn't tell you before the flights were booked! Always look on the bright side! I'll be crossing my fingers it all works out! x

Anyways, I hope that your flight change debacle is sorted soon Albatross! My brother didn't tell anyone he got married. He just did it and then told everyone after. I feel like at least you are getting some warning! Even if they dropped the ball and didn't tell you before the flights were booked! Always look on the bright side! I'll be crossing my fingers it all works out! x

Worst case scenario, I guess, is if I just leave things the way they are, go for Thanksgiving and miss the wedding.
But I'd really like to go to the wedding, as my niece (and my sister) are both very creative and artsy, and I can't wait to see their twists on the traditional!
Also, with the wedding going on, there wouldn't be so much focus on The Prodigal Daughter visiting.
Just have to wait and see when they set the date for...

Also, with the wedding going on, there wouldn't be so much focus on The Prodigal Daughter visiting.

That's my LEAST favourite thing about going home for a visit.... It's not that I'm anything special compared to my siblings, it's just that they don't see me weekly like my parents see my siblings so they make a bigger deal and fuss than necessary and I HATE the attention on me! hah

That's my LEAST favourite thing about going home for a visit.... It's not that I'm anything special compared to my siblings, it's just that they don't see me weekly like my parents see my siblings so they make a bigger deal and fuss than necessary and I HATE the attention on me! hah

For the first few years after I moved to the UK, whenever my wife and I would go back to visit my parents would have all the neighbors over for a "Gawk At the English Girl" party. She's pretty easygoing, and the neighbors are all nice people, so it wasn't as awkward as it could've been.

For the first few years after I moved to the UK, whenever my wife and I would go back to visit my parents would have all the neighbors over for a "Gawk At the English Girl" party. She's pretty easygoing, and the neighbors are all nice people, so it wasn't as awkward as it could've been.

When we go back at Christmas every other year, my mom wants to go crazy and throw a big party so that everybody can get together while I'm there....I FINALLY got her to change it to an overall Christmas party instead of anything to do with me this past year (which was much appreciated) but she likes to invite friends, family, neighbours, people that are her friends that I barely know.... Our house was so overloaded that it was overwhelming and there was nowhere to escape! We're slowly trying to curb that every year...LOL Well done to your wife! I'm easy going but I just hate being in the spotlight so I would've been hating it if I were her!

Hahaha, I get the 'phatbeetle is in, let's have a party for her and J' too.   I don't mind. J was overwhelmed at first, but now he goes with the flow. 
As the second oldest of four siblings, I was usually not even remotely a focus of attention growing up.  So it's fun to get that as an adult. HAHAH