Guilt trip about resigning from my US job

I agree with Kay 65 -- tell them sooner, rather than later.  I'm not saying tell them NOW, but maybe give two months' notice instead of one.  Maybe give them your notice when you return from your holiday?

If they give you any grief, they're buttheads.   

I was planning to give notice when I return from my holiday. (Well, my boss might be going on holiday right after, so I'd have to wait till she came back.)
I can only give so much notice as I have plans to move to England by a certain time--I've already booked my wedding--and I need time to move.

Does no one at your job know you're getting married and moving over here?  If not, you're a better woman than me -- I can't keep that kinda stuff to myself!   

I was bad - I gave my notice on Sunday, 18th August 2002 (was working overtime) and left the country on Thursday, 22nd August 2002!  

It was just so difficult for me to tell my boss - I really adored him and knew it would just be horrible.  He understood, but I really just couldn't have worked for him for any serious amount of time with both of us knowing I was leaving.  :\\\'(

I wouldn't give more notice than necessary unless you can be confident your company won't 'let you go' earlier than planned.

Does no one at your job know you're getting married and moving over here?  If not, you're a better woman than me -- I can't keep that kinda stuff to myself!   

Thank you. But to be honest, I am about ready to explode. I've been engaged since August, by the way. I didn't tell anyone because I was afraid that they would immediately start looking for a replacement for me, and as soon as they found one they would let me go. I really want to work for as long as possible till I move to the UK. I need the money.  (I guess this answers Britwife's post above, as well.)

Are you planning on working in the UK, sweetpeach? Potential UK employers will certainly want to speak to your soon to be ex-boss. If I were you I'd try to give the impression that your engagement is a very recent occurence when you resign, so it doesn't look like you accepted all these responsibilities knowing you wouldn't be able to fulfil them.  You don't want your boss telling people you're unreliable.

I agree with what everyone else has said--look after yourself... but don't shoot yourself in the foot 

I'm inclined to agree with what MrsGreen said -- if nobody knows about your engagement, why not just return from your holiday with an engagement ring?  Certainly gives an easy in for giving your notice!   

Are you planning on working in the UK, sweetpeach? Potential UK employers will certainly want to speak to your soon to be ex-boss. If I were you I'd try to give the impression that your engagement is a very recent occurence when you resign, so it doesn't look like you accepted all these responsibilities knowing you wouldn't be able to fulfil them.  You don't want your boss telling people you're unreliable.

I agree with what everyone else has said--look after yourself... but don't shoot yourself in the foot 

You're right. I plan on leaving a very good impression. I  plan to spend my last month either helping out the people who are covering my position till I am replaced, or training my replacement, depending on when my replacement is hired. When I am in England, I plan to make myself available via email or phone for anyone at my old job who has questions or needs help. I plan to ask for recommendations from a number of people. (Actually, I will be giving my notice of leave right after I come back from a trip to England, so it makes sense.)

P.S. I've been wearing my engagement ring since August, but it's not a diamond, so nobody's paid any attention. We aren't willing to spend money on a diamond.  If they ask to see my engagement ring, I suppose I could just say we're planning to purchase it in England.

If they ask to see my engagement ring, I suppose I could just say we're planning to purchase it in England.

Yep, or hit up QVC for some Diamonique!  I have one that I wear when I'm travelling or when I want something neutral (my other ring has a blue stone) and I love it -- it was only $35 and I've had a ton of compliments!

Thanks, but I love the ring that I have. It is a topaz. My fiance and I bought it together in a gem shop in York the day after he proposed.  I would never replace it.

Sweet, if I were you, I'd tell my boss immediately that I was leaving, but then help your boss find the right replacement before you leave. That would give you time to train him or her. Also, AA work isn't that complicated--the sooner you do it, the better.

Er, what do you mean by AA? Administrative Assistant? I'm not an Administrative Assistant; I'm management. It would definitely take over a month to train someone to do my job; fortunately there are people who already know a bit about it so they can train the new employee after I'm gone.

I plan to give my boss notice after I come back from holiday in February (unless my boss takes her vacation immediately after--she often goes to Maine or Italy in Feb.-- in which case I'll have to wait till she comes back--I already asked the admin asst to let  me know when the boss is taking a vacation, she hasn't told her yet)   I can't give notice before I go on my holiday, because then I won't be able to go.

Thanks, but I love the ring that I have. It is a topaz. My fiance and I bought it together in a gem shop in York the day after he proposed.  I would never replace it.

I didn't mean to imply that you should replace your ring.  Some people just need to see a diamond in order to acknowledge an engagement.  I had the hardest time getting people to accept my engagement because I don't have a traditional diamond solitare.  I do have a diamond, but it's blue, and people didn't look at it as an engagement ring.  In fact, nobody said anything about it, but when I wore my fakey ring, people said "Oh!  When did you get engaged?!"   

I don't think I could get a fakey ring. It would be an insult to my fiance, I think.  (I'm not trying to criticize anyone else here, please don't take it that way.)