Guilt trip about resigning from my US job

Sweetpeach... just wait until you get over here and start working!
The attitudes about work and time off are SO different to what you've got at the moment!!
NO WAY would any employer tell a staff member they couldnt take their holidays... unless the office had some rule about no more than X amount of people being off at the same time, or something like that.

I have to agree....I was working on a project that was managed by Americans (headquarters in the US) setting very unrealistic deadlines...for months on end.  The project (a large one) missed its end date 4 times. They always seemed belittle the Brits in my office (I am American) about taking holiday time...questioning their work standards..which I found deplorable.  I was embarrased that they were my fellow countrymen. Then I heard that the managing director of the UK Head Office said "No can do" folks will take their holiday...I was pleased to hear that! As for the Americans....they had no life outside of work even though they had families and couldnt relate to those that did. I actually heard my American boss mention that X Brit woman, (like myself) had no children so there was no excuse not to work the hours....well she (Brit woman) and I felt even though we didn't have children we had partners and that was important to us. While I had to endure the craziness (on one stint doing 90 hrs one week and 60 the following...two weeks away so it included weekends) I was happy when it ended. And when it did end....the first Monday morning after,  I had two Brits say to me "Ahh, you are the only American I care to see"...I liked that! 

Now, I work for a very nice SVP Brit...and I am so happy. If only my first 16 months here had been working for a Brit!  Just my little story. 

Jules

This is off-topic, but a thought on the exchange about rings on here earlier:

If you're engaged, getting ready to get engaged, married but yet to get an engagement ring, single and simply want to treat yourself to a ring, etc., get a diamond ring in the States, not here. After we decided to get married, Andrew went to many jewelry stores both alone and with me, we checked out the web for engagement rings, and so on. He definitely did his research, and compared prices here with those in the States. For the same quality (the four "C's"--cut, color, clarity, and carat weight, diamonds in the States typically cost about half the price of those here--again, for the same quality). You also want a diamond certified, and with papers attesting so, by the American Gem Society, which is the worldwide standard for gem ratings.

Andrew and I got our wedding bands in the UK, before we got married, but didn't get a diamond ring until we went to the States for Christmas, six weeks after we got married. You don't even have to stick to a jeweler, per se. I have a beautiful ring we picked out at Macy's at Pentagon City Mall (for those of you familiar with the D.C. area). It's short of a carat, and one of the prettiest diamonds I've seen as far as sparkle and clarity go. I'm not usually a jewelry hound at all, but considering it was our first (and I hope only) marriage, it was important to both of us. You might also consider buying a diamond (or other gem) wholesale, if possible, and choosing your own setting. Regardless, get something the AGS has certified.

My case is a special situation: taking a holiday after  giving notice of leaving the job. Even if it is allowed, in my opinion, it just seems tacky.

It may seem tacky to you, but no one would bat an eye over here... I know plenty people who have given their statutory 4 weeks notice, but since they still had, say, 3 weeks of annual leave/ holiday time accrued, they actually only worked 1 week of their notice period.   It's done all the time over here. 

I certainly wouldn't say that America has a higher level of work-related conduct.  People are afraid to take their (often unpaid) holidays (what little they get!) in America.  There's an emphasis on being at work even if you're not actually doing anything -- just having a warm body at a desk has some sort of intrinsic value.

I like the UK emphasis on the "work/life balance".  I work in a very small office (only 6 staff), but holidays just aren't  a problem.  We're all given at least 30 days and we're encouraged to take them.  In fact, my line manager reminded me yesterday that I have 8 days to take before April  -- she actively encouraged me to use them up (even though we can roll 5 over).  If more than one person is off at the same time, everyone covers their work.  Before anyone leaves, the team meeting usually covers what needs to be done in that person's absence.  When you're away on holiday, you don't have to worry that the office is going to call with a problem or question (an experience I had many times in the US!). 

IMHO, the US places too much value on the 9-5 day, 5 days a week.  It's all about punching the time clock, no matter how much or little work there is to be done.  No matter what's going on in your personal life.  No matter what.  As long as you've done your 40 hours, you're seen to be a good employee.  It's not that way here.  There seems to be much more of a co-operative attitude to work.

Of course, that's just my opinion, based on my experience.

Lola,

Thanks for sharing your valuable, "fantastic" opinion, based on your experience.  Everyone's experience is unique. I think the limited amount of vacation time offered in the nine-to-five U.S. job is a crime--that's why I've been my own boss for nine years. But as always, your take on things has proved priceless, and one I'll remember for years to come.

Gee, Suz, thanks for responding in such a friendly way.  I thought twice before posting after you, but I thought that it would be okay as there was no way that what I was going to post could be construed as remotely offensive to you.  Obviously, I was wrong.  And I made a special point to say that I was relating my own opinion, based on my experiences, so that you wouldn't accuse me of making sweeping generalisations.

Let me thank you on behalf of everyone who doesn't work at home.  It's a true pleasure not having you in our offices. 

Get over yourself.   

Lola,

Thanks for sharing your valuable, "fantastic" opinion, based on your experience.  Everyone's experience is unique. I think the limited amount of vacation time offered in the nine-to-five U.S. job is a crime--that's why I've been my own boss for nine years. But as always, your take on things has proved priceless, and one I'll remember for years to come.

What is that all about? What's with the constant chip???  

I agree with Lola if thats ok (yes my fantasic opinion as well).  There is a cultural difference between the US and UK when it comes to holiday time anyway you look at it and it has nothing to do with the US having higher standards?? Higher standards in what.....living to work instead of work to live AND enjoying life?

I will say that I never had a problem taking time off in the states and had 20 days per year vs only 23 over here BUT the whole attitude is different here and I like it. I also like the fact that many people take two weeks off in a row to enjoy a holiday....I don't ever recall my US coutnerparts having that luxury.

Julie

Thank you, Jules.   

I said it before - my tombstone is NOT going to say Peedal X, former Legal Secretary & Court Reporter.

It's going to say Peedal X, Beloved Wife of Phil & Mother of Martin & Charles.

So guess who is more important to me?

Pity the employers in the US don't see it that way as well.

BTW - I'm with Lola, too.  I feel hers truly is a *fantastic* opinion! 

Spot on, Jules and Lola. 

The work-life balance here is one reason I will never return to the US.  I work to live; not the other way around.  That's accepted and supported here in Scotland, even in 'high-end', professional jobs.  I worked as a legal secretary to a partner in the biggest firm in Scotland, when her mother passed away after a long illness, she was out on compassionate leave for 4 weeks and no one batted an eye or questioned her commitment to her job.  It was her mother, ffs.  I can only imagine how that would have gone over in the US.  My ex got one week after his mom passed away from cancer. 

Lola,

You were pointedly sarcastic in your last sentences, and I responded in kind. Don't play innocent on that. It's a constant with you, no matter what I post. But maybe, after all your "fantastic" 26 years, you can find something better to do than try to draw me into an argument. I'm not going for the bait of someone 13 years younger, with apparently nothing better to do. So how about we drop it?

I didn't see any sarcasm in Lola's post, only disagreement.  It seemed you rose to 'bait' that wasn't there. 

Lola,

You were pointedly sarcastic in your last sentences, and I responded in kind. Don't play innocent on that. It's a constant with you, no matter what I post. But maybe, after all your "fantastic" 26 years, you can find something better to do than try to draw me into an argument. I'm not going for the bait of someone 13 years younger, with apparently nothing better to do. So how about we drop it?

Obviously you have nothing better to do than look for an argument that's not even there.  There was nothing sarcastic in my response, so I can claim innocence on that one.  I have worked in the US and the UK.  I have had experiences.  I was sharing them.  If you want to devalue my opinion because I'm younger, go ahead.  It only makes you look bitter and, frankly, more than a little immature.

I do not constantly respond to your posts.  In fact, I've been ignoring them lately.  And as I said before, I considered whether or not to post after you because I didn't want to be accused of attacking you.  I, unlike you, do not trawl the boards looking for a place to insert my condescending advice (usually unsolicited).  If I disagree with someone, I give the reasons why, rather than attacking them for something as inconsequential as their age, weight, religious affilitation, marital status, or reproductive priorities.

You might want to ask yourself why you feel so attacked all the time.  I mean that in a constructive way.  I really do.   
You've just made yourself the victim of an attack that wasn't intended (wasn't even there at all). 

I'll say it only once - Keep the personal rampages to PM's please!  I don't wanna have to go and get my mean face out of the closet.  Trust me, that's no fun for anyone!  

Sooooooo--- everyone have any good weekend plans to avoid them thinking about work?

(my subtle peacemeaking approach of subject change) :-)

Helena

OMG, Wishstar's gonna do a smackdown! 


Erm....how bout them pats?!

OMG, Wishstar's gonna do a smackdown! 

Hey, anything that will direct Wishstar's wrath away from her husband, I'm all in favor.