The official UKY inlaw venting thread

If she's an unprogrammed Quaker she might think that people are more open to different religious/spiritual stuff than they are.  Most unprogrammed (or "liberal") Quakers don't identify as Christians (although some do), although most will find inspiration/enlightenment from Christian texts and ideas.  Sort of like Unitarians in a way.  Like quieter Unitarians.  As I said, she might just be applying that sort of openness to everyone.

If she's a conservative Quaker (they usually hold more traditional services with a preacher, but some do do unprogrammed meetings), she might be trying to convert you.  Still, they tend to be a bit more open than other Christians, so it might just be her wanting to offer comfort, a chance at growth, etc. 

Either way, you shouldn't feel bad about getting rid of it.

She definitely identifies as a Christian (over being a Quaker, even).  She is a very odd one as she attends Quaker services because she likes them but she won't become a member of the church officially (not sure why, it might have something to do with the church leadership).  Their meetings are unprogrammed in that there is a lot of meditation, some talking by a leader but no preaching.  She isn't trying to convert us - I am a practicing Catholic and I think she takes some comfort in that, especially since her former daughter-in-law converted her son to be a Mormon (which she finds the worst possible thing in the universe) and then divorced him.  I think she just hopes that (and feels that we should) we agree with her religious views.  She seems to conveniently forget her son identifies himself as a Hindu despite the fact that we had a Hindu wedding.  

I find it funny that she puts so much emphasis on being a Christian and yet when my niece (her granddaughter) was attending Catholic grade school, she had nothing but criticism for the Church and its rituals.  She is very anti-ritual (hence the draw towards being a Quaker) within the Christian framework but seems fine with Hindu ritual, which I find quite incongruous as I find Hinduism and Catholicism very similar in that regard.

I know we are destined for years of gifts like these; I just hope I can take it!

Yeah, Geeta--give those books to a charity or a church--don't feel badly.

A church...that is a really good idea!  I wouldn't even feel bad about telling her I did that, too.  Thanks!

On the religious front, I sometimes get forwarded emails from my Dad about very political, Zionist type stuff and very political pro-Israel, anti-Arab stuff--like Isreal never did anything wrong ever and the Arab countries are always wrong about everything.    To top it off I am one of the least politcal people I know--I'm a total pacifist hippy girl.  If I ever say anything or ask a question I get a lecture that goes on and on and accusations that I am turning my back on my faith.  By the way, my Dad was not like this when I was growing up and never even bothered to take me to synogogue services when I wanted to go. 

Sigh, that's really difficult.  We get the same sort of anti-Muslim stuff from certain people. 

You're welcome.  Oh, and I know what you mean about Hinduism and Catholicism (sp?) being similar when it comes to rituals.  I always thought that was one of the reasons my ex was so attracted to Hiduism (he was raised Catholic).

Feel the love... Maybe it's because I asked her to stop yelling at my daughter and warned her not to hit my daughter ever again...ya think?

Too right on you though.  Jesus.

Not to sound mean, but if my mother sent me any religious books she knows I would round-file them immediately. By no means Geeta am I suggesting you do that. The church thing sounds a better idea.

WebJ - that really sucks to be excluded. Did your dh notice? Did he say anything to her? I would because exclusion, to me, is a form of bullying and just down right despicable. Even more so within a family unit. And wtf is she doing hitting your child? I would absolutely go ballistic if anyone laid a finger on my child. I could possibly just possibly tolerate the shouting dependant on the words, the attitude and the situation. But hitting? No way. Besides I thought that was illegal to smack a child in England?

HEY CHILD GET DOWN OFF THAT CHAIR BEFORE YOU BREAK YOUR NECK!!  ok if I wasn't there to do it or didn't see it.

SHUT UP AND EAT YOUR DINNER OR ELSE!!! ok now you've stepped over the line.

Smack! NOW EAT YOUR BEANS!  sorry my gun is drawn and cocked. I don't do that and nor would I expect anyone else to hit my child.

We can still skelp the weans up here, though I can't say I know of anyone who does.

Hey Bob...I'm not sure if DH has noticed the card or not, if he has he hasn't said anything to me about it. He pretty much has written off his mom. He's not emotionally involved with her and we only visit her each week because he feels that as his mother she does deserve respect as she brought him into the world and he owes her that. DH's brother hasn't seen or talked to her in 3 years though she says that she ran into him on the street the other day, but he avoids her like the plague and for whatever reason us too. I've never met him...his oldest half brother I've met twice and he has only seen DD once for about 5 minutes (and she's nearly 19 months now).

So loving family they're not. I can completely understand why he wants to move back to the states so the Munchkin can have my family around her.

On this past sunday the munchkin was reaching up to touch the leaf of a plant and MIL screamed at her and then slapped her hand really hard -- so hard that it was red and DD was crying.

And to top it off today, she was stalking me again and made me miss my bus into town, so I had to wait in the cold & wind for the next one which was a half hour later....I really despise that woman.

OMG, WebyJ, I would have lost it.  Poor wee thing.

OMG, WebyJ, I would have lost it.  Poor wee thing.

Oh, I did lose it...I told her off big time and then we left. It was just really strange that she rang me 2 days later to see how DD was doing and offered to bring us anything we needed (like we don't live 20 steps from a supermarket) and today I was waiting for the bus and she gets off the bus at the stop we're waiting at and starts talking to me (gasp! usually she just pretends not to see me right infront of her saying hello) and then tells the driver to leave and that I would get the next bus!

DH says she's drinking again, which would explain some of her behaviour, but seriously if she died tomorrow I wouldn't shed a tear for her, but I would for DH because she's his mum.

That is very sad.

Oh weby, that's terrible and sad.  Your poor daughter 

Oh Weby, that is so very sad.

Weby, that is so sad for your daughter.   I'm sorry you both have to deal with that. xx

That is really sad WebyJ. I'd like to say I hope things get better but it doesn't appear there'd be any chance of that.

So, I never complain about my in-laws but sometimes they do drive me crazy.  Just a little.

Every year my MIL asks exactly what I want for Christmas.  And I always pick out something practical and easy to find.  Plus I make sure it comes in a range of prices so that they can spend however much they want.
So, this year I asked for a slow cooker because I REALLY want one and never manage to spend the money.  OK.  That was fine.
So, today James tells me that I'm not getting a slow cooker because they can't decide on one.  The real reason?  They think they're dangerous and that I shouldn't have one AND if anything happened (like I burned down my house) it would be THEIR fault because they bought it.  Seriously. 

The real reason?  They think they're dangerous and that I shouldn't have one AND if anything happened (like I burned down my house) it would be THEIR fault because they bought it.  Seriously. 

Oh, good grief. 

You should call their bluff. If they say they can't decide on one, you need to pick out a specific one (moderately-priced, of course) that you want and tell them.