Official UKY parent venting thread

Oonablah & julie.bug...this is precisely why I never told anyone I was moving until the day I left 

Instead of using a pen and notepad like a normal person, my mom writes all over her hand/arm/wrist with sharpies. And no one can read her "reminders" they look like
crazy person scribbles.

She had bright red scribbles all over herself right now, and we just had a huge fight because I told her she isn't coming with me to my wedding dress fitting unless she removes all of the scribbles. (she uses rubbing alcohol and/or nail polish remover to get it off).  She said all the scribbles are reminders of wedding stuff she needs to do.  I just gave her a nice note pad and an ink pen. 

Instead of using a pen and notepad like a normal person, my mom writes all over her hand/arm/wrist with sharpies. And no one can read her "reminders" they look like
crazy person scribbles.

She had bright red scribbles all over herself right now, and we just had a huge fight because I told her she isn't coming with me to my wedding dress fitting unless she removes all of the scribbles. (she uses rubbing alcohol and/or nail polish remover to get it off).  She said all the scribbles are reminders of wedding stuff she needs to do.  I just gave her a nice note pad and an ink pen. 

Oh geez, I thought I was the only. I do this all the time. In my defense, you can't lose your arm but you can lose a note pad 

My mother has one serious case of empty nest syndrome. If I don't answer her call, she keeps calling over and over again, texts me saying to call her, emails me saying to call her, then starts calling and texting DH. 

I waited a few hours to call her back yesterday and she started the conversation with "I COULD BE DYING ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD AND NO ONE WOULD CARE ABOUT ME!!!!!!!" I told her if she was dying on the side of the road, she should call 911 and not me.  (Which then turned into a conversation about how rude, disrespectful, and uncaring my sister and I are.)

My mother has one serious case of empty nest syndrome. If I don't answer her call, she keeps calling over and over again, texts me saying to call her, emails me saying to call her, then starts calling and texting DH. 

I waited a few hours to call her back yesterday and she started the conversation with "I COULD BE DYING ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD AND NO ONE WOULD CARE ABOUT ME!!!!!!!" I told her if she was dying on the side of the road, she should call 911 and not me.  (Which then turned into a conversation about how rude, disrespectful, and uncaring my sister and I are.)

If you keep responding she will keep doing it.  I speak from sad experience. 

If you keep responding she will keep doing it.  I speak from sad experience. 

I've cut her down to every few days. She calls and calls then txts me CALL ME ASAP!!! or something like that, then I start worrying (my grandfather has heart problems...) that something really is wrong.  It's a vicious cycle. What did you do?

But right now, I'm not planning on talking to her for a while (weeks? months!?). I found out over facebook chat, from a distant cousin, that my parents divorce is going to be finalized this week. They have been separated for a long time, and I think in the long run, its going to be good that they are finally moving on. But it would have really nice if someone would have told me! My sister knew, but my mom had told her not to tell me.

Sorry to revive an old thread, but I'm living at home for the summer and my family is driving me bonkers.  

I find it interesting that the weight thing comes up again and again, and I hope if I ever have a daughter I don't make her feel crap about her weight. I'm by far the thinnest person in my family, and am currently at my heaviest about a US size 8 (at 5'6")- which is by no means fat at all.  I've lost about 7 lbs. and would only like to lose 10 more, but everytime I mention that I'm glad I'm close to my goal my mom says something like "oh, is that all you want to lose?  You could stand to lose twenty pounds.  You look best at a size 2 or 4."  I don't care to be a 2 or 4, it requires too much dieting and it isn't a priority for me.  I make it a point to not mention weight anymore, because I hate having her issues projected on me.

My mom has serious issues surrounding food, and while I know this is none of my business- it's really difficult to watch the endless cycle of food craziness that goes on around here.  She'll go weeks where she'll eat fast food for lunch, loads of ice cream bars and a full family size bag of chips in the evening.  Then for a week (usually 4 days) she'll be on a "diet" where she'll eat a few pieces of fruit and a bit of cereal and some diet shakes.  Then back to weeks of junk.  I've never seen her prepare any food for herself, not even a sandwich. I offer to make filling, nutritious, healthy meals any evening I don't work- which I generally do for myself, and she'll either just eat junk or eat her diet food.  I try and make encouraging comments, but she doesn't listen.  I cook almost all of my food at home, and always offer her a sandwich on whole wheat bread or a wrap- but she refuses. She feels she is completely right about dieting, and even though I've never been overweight and am a very healthy eater- I know nothing about proper eating. Le sigh.

I'm also tired of my comings-and-going being monitored.  I feel like I'm under house-arrest sometimes. Ugh. I love my family, but sometimes I wish they'd let me be me.

Omg I had no idea this thread existed!

My mother has been driving me nuts. They've decided to move about 2000 miles from where they are. They had been storing an old family bible of mine until I could move it over and we'd talked about it last week and decided they would take it with them (it's heavy not big) and I'd bring it back on my next trip since it would cost nearly $200 to mail. Well yesterday my mother asks for my address again and tells me that she is sending it. I told her we couldn't afford to have it sent, so if she didn't want to move it could she take it to my sisters with the other stuff that's going there. I get told no, it's already addressed. At the end of the conversation we leave it where I'm under the impression that she isn't going to waste $200 to send it, but take it to my sisters (this involved my sister and my husband trying to talk sense into her.) Anyway get a message this morning saying the box has been sent!

I can't afford to repay her at the moment and I hate the idea that they've spent money to mail it (i won't go into how everytime I ask for something I get told it's too expensive to mail, even if I offer to pay for the shipping)

Urgh!!!!

Sorry to revive an old thread, but I'm living at home for the summer and my family is driving me bonkers.  

I find it interesting that the weight thing comes up again and again, and I hope if I ever have a daughter I don't make her feel crap about her weight. I'm by far the thinnest person in my family, and am currently at my heaviest about a US size 8 (at 5'6")- which is by no means fat at all.  I've lost about 7 lbs. and would only like to lose 10 more, but everytime I mention that I'm glad I'm close to my goal my mom says something like "oh, is that all you want to lose?  You could stand to lose twenty pounds.  You look best at a size 2 or 4."  I don't care to be a 2 or 4, it requires too much dieting and it isn't a priority for me.  I make it a point to not mention weight anymore, because I hate having her issues projected on me.

My mom has serious issues surrounding food, and while I know this is none of my business- it's really difficult to watch the endless cycle of food craziness that goes on around here.  She'll go weeks where she'll eat fast food for lunch, loads of ice cream bars and a full family size bag of chips in the evening.  Then for a week (usually 4 days) she'll be on a "diet" where she'll eat a few pieces of fruit and a bit of cereal and some diet shakes.  Then back to weeks of junk.  I've never seen her prepare any food for herself, not even a sandwich. I offer to make filling, nutritious, healthy meals any evening I don't work- which I generally do for myself, and she'll either just eat junk or eat her diet food.  I try and make encouraging comments, but she doesn't listen.  I cook almost all of my food at home, and always offer her a sandwich on whole wheat bread or a wrap- but she refuses. She feels she is completely right about dieting, and even though I've never been overweight and am a very healthy eater- I know nothing about proper eating. Le sigh.

I'm also tired of my comings-and-going being monitored.  I feel like I'm under house-arrest sometimes. Ugh. I love my family, but sometimes I wish they'd let me be me.

Ohh Sarah Huggss!!! At least you reconoze its not healthy...You have your head on your shoulders and are moving forward - hang in there as you are ALMOST here right ? ;-)

To add to the weight/food issue thing I was at my mother in law's this weekend and I do love her-she is amazing-but the woman NEVER has food.  Or I still feel very uncomfortable eating her food because she makes it seem like I eat ALL the time (I am a US 6 and yes, could stand to tone up a bit here and there but really, do I have the time?  Not to mention that I am at my comfortable weight and more or less happy with it!).  What set me off this weekend was that I had a tin of soup and a small wheat roll with lettuce and tomato for lunch and she went on for about 20 minutes about how she could never, would never eat a WHOLE tin of soup AND a sandwich-just couldn't manage it on her little stomach!  ARG!!  Woman, leave me and what I bloody eat alone!  And my husband wonders why I  bring loads of snacks and consume them in our bedroom when we go there  
Is it a generational thing to not eat loads?? 

Can't wait to see you Sarah!!!  Hurry up and get here already  

To add to the weight/food issue thing I was at my mother in law's this weekend and I do love her-she is amazing-but the woman NEVER has food.  Or I still feel very uncomfortable eating her food because she makes it seem like I eat ALL the time (I am a US 6 and yes, could stand to tone up a bit here and there but really, do I have the time?  Not to mention that I am at my comfortable weight and more or less happy with it!).  What set me off this weekend was that I had a tin of soup and a small wheat roll with lettuce and tomato for lunch and she went on for about 20 minutes about how she could never, would never eat a WHOLE tin of soup AND a sandwich-just couldn't manage it on her little stomach!  ARG!!  Woman, leave me and what I bloody eat alone!  And my husband wonders why I  bring loads of snacks and consume them in our bedroom when we go there  
Is it a generational thing to not eat loads?? 

Can't wait to see you Sarah!!!  Hurry up and get here already  

  My MIL is similar.  She doesn't exactly criticise (sp?) me when I eat a healthy amount but she does eat like a bird herself.  She gave me two 10oz or so size jars of pasta sauce because she could *never* get through that much pasta sauce (I'd easily get through a jar on my own and then some!). 

By the way a tin of soup and a roll with lettuce isn't exactly loads as you know.  You are gorgeous and have a great figure (but you know this, right?) so don't let it get to you.

Sarahjoyhappy--same for you--I bet you are absolutely beautiful and have a lovely dancer's figure!

A US6, a US 8? Are you freaking kidding me? I could eat you for breakfast
Sarah x2 you're both totally gorgeous!
I've recounted "tales of torture - one day I may kill my mother with a sausage", many time on this forum, and I wish I had some wise advise from it, but the only thing I can think of, is that both are you are happy in who you are, you know that you're comfortable with your body, yes you might want to lose 5lbs or tone up, but fundamentally you don't need to make others feel bad for what they eat, or constantly be on diets or obsess unhealthily about food, if you let your mother/mother in law affect you, they'll take that away from you, that wonderful happiness in who you are, and that's worth hanging on to.

 

Thanks ladies.  Sometimes it feels good to just vent about it.  I feel better now! And I keep telling my self, it's just a few short weeks and then I'll be in my own place again! Yippee. 

Wow, Sarah x 2! That is totally awful! It doesn't feel good to be under surveillance and critiqued for ultimately superficial things from other women, especially mothers and mothers in law. ((Hugs))

Thanks ladies   It does feel better to vent...Some things just need to be gotten off your chest eh?  It is probably the one thing I can't vent to my husband about!!