Inconvenient Annoyances

I didn't even know you could get an umbrella engraved with your name.  Must have taken him forever to arrange

I could do it...

Yeah, I can totally see, if you were hoping for diamonds and you ended up with an umbrella, that maybe it doesn't seem as clever/funny! 

At least it wasn't a frying pan or a vacuum cleaner or something.... 

Diamonds people.  DIAMONDS are appropriate for a gift for naturalisation.

That reminds me of a joke an Aussie friend once told me:, or perhaps it was a real story, I can't remember.

Wife asked for a diamond ring for her birthday but her husband brought her a Mood Ring instead.
Husband: I thought this would be better so that I can see what mood you are in.
Wife: Take it back and get a diamond ring. A diamond ring will let you know if I am in a bad mood because you will have a f...... great indentation in your forehead.

That reminds me of a joke an Aussie friend once told me:, or perhaps it was a real story, I can't remember.

Wife asked for a diamond ring for her birthday but her husband brought her a Mood Ring instead.
Husband: I thought this would be better so that I can see what mood you are in.
Wife: Take it back and get a diamond ring. A diamond ring will let you know if I am in a bad mood because you will have a f...... great indentation in your forehead.

Best joke EVER! 

My son is getting married in a month and I won't be there. Just found out tonight and not from him. My daughter told me.

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My son is getting married in a month and I won't be there. Just found out tonight and not from him. My daughter told me.

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Oh I'm sorry to read this! Did they just make the plans? That's more than an IA.

I don't know.  No one tells me anything anymore since I moved.

It will be a courthouse wedding. My daughter's haven't been invited (yet) and their dad will be out of the country.

In trying to be ok about this but I don't know how I feel. I want to cry and go home. But that could just be right now.

They've been engaged but the plan, I thought, was to wait until she graduated uni.

Oh I'm sorry to read this! Did they just make the plans? That's more than an IA.

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I don't know.  No one tells me anything anymore since I moved.

It will be a courthouse wedding. My daughter's haven't been invited (yet) and their dad will be out of the country.

In trying to be ok about this but I don't know how I feel. I want to cry and go home. But that could just be right now.

They've been engaged but the plan, I thought, was to wait until she graduated uni.
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Give them a call tomorrow. Maybe something changed that made now the right time for a small ceremony, and they don't want everyone jumping to be there. It's easy to assume the worst, but hopefully it's just a lack of communication due to the distance. Without Facebook I'd never hear from my family, but even before I moved that was usually how I learned about family vacations and gatherings that I wasn't invited to!

I don't know.  No one tells me anything anymore since I moved.

It will be a courthouse wedding. My daughter's haven't been invited (yet) and their dad will be out of the country.

In trying to be ok about this but I don't know how I feel. I want to cry and go home. But that could just be right now.

They've been engaged but the plan, I thought, was to wait until she graduated uni.
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That's a bummer. I'm sure you're feeling how my mom was feeling after I told her we decided to get married in the UK instead.

Maybe they don't to have the 'big' wedding and the easiest way for them to do that would be to 'elope' and do a courthouse wedding as that means no family members will be hurt because one side was there and the other wasn't?

As Margo suggested, I would give him a call and just talk to him. My husband and I were supposed to get married in the states, but changed our mind as things were starting to turn into something we didn't want.

I'm sure they have a reason.

That's a bummer. I'm sure you're feeling how my mom was feeling after I told her we decided to get married in the UK instead.

Maybe they don't to have the 'big' wedding and the easiest way for them to do that would be to 'elope' and do a courthouse wedding as that means no family members will be hurt because one side was there and the other wasn't?

As Margo suggested, I would give him a call and just talk to him. My husband and I were supposed to get married in the states, but changed our mind as things were starting to turn into something we didn't want.

I'm sure they have a reason.

It's more of the fact that he hasn't told me when everyone else knows. It's ok I can't be there. We can have a party later. But he hasn't said a thing!

We used to be very close until I moved. It's not like we have a strained relationship. We can talk about anything. He's just isolated himself.

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It's more of the fact that he hasn't told me when everyone else knows. It's ok I can't be there. We can have a party later. But he hasn't said a thing!

We used to be very close until I moved. It's not like we have a strained relationship. We can talk about anything. He's just isolated himself.

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Thinking as someone's kid in a similar situation...
He could think that you'll react badly to this and most people tend to put off 'negative' conversations as much as possible.  But you won't know until til you guys talk. It might not be an easy convo, but it could be.

And he's probably dealing with you moving in his own way. Have you guys talked about it? My mom and I have had to have a ton of conversations regarding my move. Many of which I volved her guilt tripping me...

When our nuclear family moved to CO away from the extended family in MN when I was a kid, the entire family basically cut my mom off because she left. Families are weird. 🤪

We were planning to get married in Cyprus.  We were going to grab witnesses off the street.  But when the family heard they all suddenly booked flights. 

Two days before the wedding the company my husband and I worked for cancelled his vacation.  I headed over to Cyprus on my own.  Everyone thought I had been dumped.  But we made the best of it and enjoyed a family meal, which would have been our reception, etc.

We re-scheduled our wedding for a couple of months later - but this time we didn't tell all the family.  There were 9 of us, including my husband and myself - and it was exactly what I wanted.  We then travelled to England and told the family that we were married.  It was amazing how people reacted.  One of my nieces has never spoken to me since as she thought it was a big plot or something.

Most have just let it go and moved on.

Your son is going to be married whether you are there or not.  The bigger picture is that he is your son.  So be happy for him.  Give him a call but be positive, not accusing.

If you react as if you are upset (which you have every right to be) then it makes it harder to be told anything else that might happen.  Make that call with a smile on your face and be happy for him. 

I am happy for him. He's been engaged for over a year now. I love his fiance.

Which is why I am upset... his sisters know. His dad knows. But am I told? Nope.

I just talked to him about his new apartment and his job move but did he say a word about getting married earlier than expected?

I sent him a message this morning. It's been read but he hasn't responded yet.

We were planning to get married in Cyprus.  We were going to grab witnesses off the street.  But when the family heard they all suddenly booked flights. 

Two days before the wedding the company my husband and I worked for cancelled his vacation.  I headed over to Cyprus on my own.  Everyone thought I had been dumped.  But we made the best of it and enjoyed a family meal, which would have been our reception, etc.

We re-scheduled our wedding for a couple of months later - but this time we didn't tell all the family.  There were 9 of us, including my husband and myself - and it was exactly what I wanted.  We then travelled to England and told the family that we were married.  It was amazing how people reacted.  One of my nieces has never spoken to me since as she thought it was a big plot or something.

Most have just let it go and moved on.

Your son is going to be married whether you are there or not.  The bigger picture is that he is your son.  So be happy for him.  Give him a call but be positive, not accusing.

If you react as if you are upset (which you have every right to be) then it makes it harder to be told anything else that might happen.  Make that call with a smile on your face and be happy for him.

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I didn't tell my family because I didn't want them to go through the expense and I didn't want any fuss.  I am wondering if he thought you would have moved heaven and earth to get to the wedding which would mean lots of expense etc?

And I know this sounds insane - but men just don't think the same way as us.  They are almost of the frame of mind of, pick a date and I will turn up, as opposed to the bride and rest of the females who want to make an event of it.  It may not have registered in his mind that he should have told you and he probably just dropped it into conversation with those who now know.

Tell him that you will get yourself a bottle of bubbles and, on the day, you will raise a glass to him and his lovely bride.  Be excited for him.  Put away your own disappointment and hurt, if you can.  Tell him you want to see lots of pics.

I hope you don't think I am just wittering on - I am trying to make the best of it for you and for your future relationship with your son and new daughter, because that is what is really important.

I’m another one who didn’t have my parents at my wedding.  It was just the two of us and a photographer.  VERY low key but perfect in every way.

We ADORE our parents.  It was just too hard to try to get everyone together.

But I suspect it’s not hearing it from HIM that is hurting.  Talk to him.  I bet your daughter wasn’t supposed to say. 

Big hugs.  We ALL “get it.”