Just have vent-moving here has changed everything I thought about America!

I am not so sure about this. 

We hear so much about things like sexual harassment and racist humour and such, where the perpetrator hides behind "I was joking" or "you are being too sensitive". It is a hat-trick of an a-hole move because not only have you insulted a person, but now you are making them second guess themselves and perhaps getting them in trouble for complaining.

Banter can be great amongst people who have all bought into it (though some people have a heck of a time knowing when to knock it off), but it should be used carefully.

We have no idea what is being said, and how it is being said to Lalala75.....and unless you are actually standing there hearing them saying it, and interpreting tone of voice, body posture etc etc there is no way for any of us to make an accurate comment on her particular situation. I understand that. She really might be around a bunch of "Butt Heads". But with what you are saying......before I say anything, I'd better wait and think about it for a while and try to decide if there is any possible way for someone to take my comment (whatever it is) the wrong way and be insulted by it. Just about anything that anybody says "can" be taken differently than the way it was meant.

I have spent 14 years in the UK.....do I dislike some things in this country? Absolutely. I can make a list for you. But I would like to think I can make one hell of a list of things that I DO like about the UK. The positives far outweigh the negatives.....at least to me. If all I mention are the negative side of things......that might give a good clue as to my attitude towards my situation.

@F4mandolin i know i can be harsh myself in regards to living here but as someone said earlier, UK culture tends to be negative and there's even a a certain pride going through misery. Especially living in London, I can tell you this is true. I have tried really really hard to make the best of things and on paper, my life here is better than the US, I have a better career, etc. But day to day life in London makes it very hard to be positive.

And I know it's not just me who thinks this way, if anyone saw "Very British Problems" you'll see how even the brits themselves see this negativity. And I get why people act the way they do now.

So when you have a culture that tends to be rather negative and where day-to-day life can wipe you out, what is someone supposed to do? i can be as happy and cheery as I want, but if its not reciprocated, what am I left to do?

The surprising thing is, I am not a cheerful, happy go lucky person myself, but it's too much of a downer even for me.

Oh....I can understand living in London. Not my kind of place.....waaaay too many people, noise, etc etc. When I lived near London I only went there to shop or visit friends (back from 1980-87). Both my wife and I are hermits......my wife is more so than me. I kind of forced myself to join up with the golf club when moving back to Harrogate just to make sure I got out and around (I'm not a huge fan of Harrogate either, although the countryside is great). Neither of us are really sociable people. I also play octave mandolin (I used to play mandolin+violin) at times....not good enough to play with other people.....but then again I don't practice very much. Most of my hobbies are solitary hobbies. The golf is enough sociable action to keep me happy, I can always add more days golfing if I want more interaction. But.....if I lived in London I would have to do what it took to be "out and about".  There is always an answer out there for you.....you just have to find where it is. Easier said than done.......

before I say anything, I'd better wait and think about it for a while and try to decide if there is any possible way for someone to take my comment (whatever it is) the wrong way and be insulted by it.

No, I don't want to start a fight.

I struggle with PC humour. Growing up, amongst my little group of smart a$$ed friends, the goal of almost any encounter was to make the others roll around on the floor dying from laughter. It was just our thing. And almost anything was fair-game, as long as it got a laugh. 

It's a little different now (and I'm not 15).

Someone gave a good explanation a while back in something I read, that there is a difference in expectation regarding stuff that pushes the limits. If you go to a proffesional show where you know the comic is going to be rude....you go in knowing that what they say is just an act.

So yes, they can say all kinds of dodgy stuff....you knew it going in. But to later tell the same sorts of jokes on the bus home.....with people around who didn't choose to hear it....that's different.

The same could be said of comments about Americans....a lot are very funny, and we may even deserve a lot of them, but to just be having lunch at your desk one day and have a guy take a shot about fat Americans....

@sonofasailor i agree completely. there's a difference in being witty and turning negative things on their head and just taking cheap shots. And most of what I hear is cheap shots.

Harmless witty joke: We need some weapons, are there any Americans here?

Cheap (and 99% of what I hear): Americans movies suck because everything needs to be explained to them because they cant figure it out. (i've actually heard this more than once)

Sorry, I guess I just don't see things as being so negative. The vast majority of people I meet and talk to do not see things like this. People occasionally talk to me as I walk down the street.....I meet people as I walk down by the river (I do odd fixes to the trails.....probably illegally), I get nothing but friendly compliments for doing this. When they find out I'm American they even get friendlier. But.....I live in N Yorkshire.....things don't get better

@F4mandolin i know i can be harsh myself in regards to living here but as someone said earlier, UK culture tends to be negative and there's even a a certain pride going through misery.

   
As a Brit I wholeheartedly agree.   For me it is, without doubt, the single worst aspect of living in the UK.  However with it comes self-deprecating humour, not taking life or oneself too seriously, and not being blinded by one's rose tinted spectacles (yes, I'm talking about Americans  )   So it's not all bad.

Don't confuse London with England though - two different countries.   A bit like a Brit visiting New York city and concluding that Americans are rather rude.

Anyway to lighten the thread a little story about two nations separated by a common language:
Since we moved to the UK in the summer I have been drilling my (American) wife on the importance of the correct use of the words pants and trousers and that they are absolutely NOT interchangeable.    Apparently to no avail.

She was out clothes shopping with our daughter for another pair of school TROUSERS last week and our daughter was being a typical sullen teen.   My wife in frustration raises her voice at her and says "You only have one pair of pants and you wear them all week so we need to buy some more".    There were a few raised eyebrows from the locals within earshot, and my wife realized her mistake too late.

     My wife in frustration raises her voice at her and says "You only have one pair of pants and you wear them all week so we need to buy some more".    There were a few raised eyebrows from the locals within earshot, and my wife realized her mistake too late.

My wife still hasn't got me to stop talking about my fanny pack. And....one of these days I will start saying garage correctly. 

Cheap (and 99% of what I hear): Americans movies suck because everything needs to be explained to them because they cant figure it out. (i've actually heard this more than once)

Oh honestly... if this is the best they can do, I would just be laughing along with them in agreement!  I reckon they're just grasping at these stupid straws because they know it bugs you.  Don't give them the satisfaction... just laugh and roll with it.  Seriously, I would hardly call this American-bashing, or whatever, and I would certainly not be letting it bother me.  It's just somebody's opinion, and... who fcking cares?  I don't like most American movies either, so I would just agree with them and get on with my day.

Oh btw, I lived in London for 4 years and hated it there.
Life is better elsewhere! 

Sorry I'm late to the party on the rude comments, but I have to agree with Lala. The comments about the movies are rude because the Brits are not just saying that they tend not to like American movies (fair enough), but that they are bad because Americans are dumb (so the movies have to contain redundant explanation). It seems that some Brits are intent on insulting Americans in a way that they would be absolutely petrified to do about any other group, race, religion or culture. And I think it all comes down to lashing out somewhat blindly and aggressively and pathetically against what they perceive to be the top dog (the fat, stupid, top dog because we Brits would do a MUCH better job running things if we still had power or relevance I should say). I really don't agree with telling Lala to just get over or just laugh with them. What if these comments were made about Asians or Mexicans or some other group? Not a single person would defend them or tell anyone to just laugh with them. But Americans are always fair game here. It's a double standard for sure. One last respectable bigotry for these insular, xenophobic, insecure, hating Brits.

One last respectable bigotry

I like this phrase! My journalism professor said about writing op-eds, to always end with something punchy and memorable...but something with a twist that leads the reader on to further thoughts.

This reminds me of Niall Ferguson's flag-waver  Empire: The Rise and Demise of the British World Order and the Lessons for Global Power.

You know, there is only one completely proven fact about empire, that they all eventually fall. So one has to ask why any society would decide to start one. I mean they say that 90% of restaurants fail, but at least there's that sliver of a chance. With empire, it will assuredly end badly.

Perhaps America is fooling itself today, as I am sure all empires do, by thinking that this time we will do it differently....but it won't work.

But with America, we are still in the process, and it's hard to get a good look at something in progress - the British Empire having just recently collapsed, is easier to look at.

I think stepping down from dominance is hard. No one particularly feels sympathetic - to the contrary a lot feel pleasure in a sort of, "they got what they had coming" sort of way. And self-analysis is most brutal following failure. Was there good in the Empire? And if it was good, does that mean something was lost? Was the world a better place then? And I can understand why Britain may feel cheated. Collapse came after a great victory over a truly evil enemy.

But I will say this, I do think America treated Britain very poorly. Really we buggered them three ways to Christmas. Recently the transcript for the 1944, Bretton Woods Conference was found in an old file cabinet at the US Treasury (which is really cool, I think). In the transcript, says one high up smart person, "Readers can see the British Empire “disintegrating before your eyes.”

I also like looking through the old transcripts from the Hansard, which are available online. These things - Bretton Woods, the US post-war loan, the Marshall Plan - were all discussed in the Commons, and it can be chilling reading. All Parliamentary speeches are political, but there is no doubt that many understood fully what was happening, that they were being forced to end a great empire in exchange for survival. Just a few years later Suez drove the point home.

In a way, I say, "So what?" God never blessed the Empire - there was nothing particularly noble about it. In the filthy game of global power nobody deserves anything. Empires fall.

But I must say, that even though British motives and actions were in many instances suspect during the War, they hung in there in 1940. They did that......and it was one hell of a thing. And in the deserts of North Africa at El Alamein. I am a peacenik, but there is no doubt about the importance of these things.

So yes, having to step back from your place in the world, after standing alone like a rock against great and powerful evil.....it can't be easy.  To have a young, brash nation manhandle you while you are dependent on them can't be pleasant.

I can understand in a way, and I like to think that America should look at it all very carefully in view of her current position. It's not all dusty old books.

@ShakeShack Amen sister! Agree completely and good point about it being unacceptable for other races but for us, we should just take it. I would add to that though, when someone dares criticize the Brits or England, boy do they take it badly. At least we Americans have been gracious and not starting a fight (or at least judging by the people who have I seen complain about this, all of them have taken it)

its just really annoying how they love to point out how awful, stupid, fat Americans are when it's far from perfect here. And a lot of the very things they complain about is also true of the British, they just absolutely refuse to see it. Also, when you do point out their history hasnt been perfect and they've been guilty of atrocities as well, the answer I hear is "It was a long time ago, we've over it."  I wonder if the people colonized or who have been the target of racism are over it. And they get over what they did, yet hold long standing grudges against America, France, etc.

I think the term "hypocrite" is appropriate here. Several people are convinced that the British in general are constantly insulting Americans........and then spend all their time bashing the British. "We're not guilty.........they are!".

@F4mandolin the difference we are not so rude as to say it anyone's face. interestingly, it seems Americans have more tact and manners than english people. that's the issue here, people being rude and as i said before, making day to day life here miserable. who wants to hear about how their culture and heritage sucks on a daily basis?

even right before i typed this, i had to hear one person at our work going on and on about how their english is the correct english, etc. which is not that bad, but when you hear this almost daily, it gets OLD.

i'm telling you, almost everyday. and i bet no American is even thinking about which English came first and which is better.

Your opinion of Americans is amazing.......wrong.....but amazing.