Show of hands...

I would have definitely earned the troublemaking badge in Jr Girl Scouts too...  I would sit there and deliberately fold the church bulletins backwards and upside down..... 

I had an actual membership in Boy Scouts.  When I was 14, I learned about this "Medical Explorers" thing at the hospital near where we lived... it was a weekly tour of a different part of the hospital, where we'd get to learn about various specialist departments.  I found the burn trauma section particularly disturbing, as they told us what the patients have to go through.  I still shudder when I think about it. Anyway, the program was run by B.S.A., so I had to be a Boy Scout to go to it.

I was in the explorers as well, The sailing explorers!  We were technically boy scouts but there were girls as well and we drank beer. 

We washed people's sail boats to earn money and then chartered a big sail boat on the Chessapeak bay. 

Phatbeetle, one of my earliest memories was being an atheist cub scout and being worried sick that I was a failure because I didn't believe that Jesus stuff.  I was 8 and already knew it.  It must be similar for gay people.

Going back to Amber's original post...

I came for work, then met a boy (like everyone said I would), and now have a life sentence.     This was supposed to be a 2-3 year stop before my dream assignment in China.  Ooops.

On this board, pretty much everyone here is because we WANT to be here.  We aren't too diverse in that respect.  There are some Facebook groups that paint a very different picture and is something to be aware of - even though I suspect it won't concern you.  I will raise though as you have kids.

Here's the risk with the move - you would be moving with your British husband and British children.  You would be on a visa that is 100% dependent on your marriage and relationship.  While it takes two people to agree to marry - it only takes one person to want to end a relationship or get a divorce.  If this were to happen, you would no longer have permission to stay in the UK.  Here's the kicker - due to the Hague Convention, you could not return to the USA with your children without permission from your husband.  If you did not want to leave your kids here, you would have to apply for permission to remain in the UK "outside the rules" based on having British children who reside here and wanting to be a part of their lives.  This is a long and expensive path.  And one that is horrible to be on, as sometimes these are "deadbeat dads" who aren't interested in being in their children's lives but simply want to make the ex "pay".

Like I said, I'm sure this 100% isn't something that isn't in your future, but it is a risk.  I have all of my eggs in my husband's basket.  He is the owner of our two homes, so that we are not subject to USA taxation.  Unfortunately, I have a divorce under my belt, so I know how quickly a partner can change and decide to want a new life.  If my now-husband did that to me, that would suck.  Really bad.  But it is what it is.  I knew what I was signing up for.  (All that being said, I trust him implicitly and if I end up with egg on my face, so be it.)

Going back to Amber's original post...

I came for work, then met a boy (like everyone said I would), and now have a life sentence.     This was supposed to be a 2-3 year stop before my dream assignment in China.  Ooops.

On this board, pretty much everyone here is because we WANT to be here.  We aren't too diverse in that respect.  There are some Facebook groups that paint a very different picture and is something to be aware of - even though I suspect it won't concern you.  I will raise though as you have kids.

Here's the risk with the move - you would be moving with your British husband and British children.  You would be on a visa that is 100% dependent on your marriage and relationship.  While it takes two people to agree to marry - it only takes one person to want to end a relationship or get a divorce.  If this were to happen, you would no longer have permission to stay in the UK.  Here's the kicker - due to the Hague Convention, you could not return to the USA with your children without permission from your husband.  If you did not want to leave your kids here, you would have to apply for permission to remain in the UK "outside the rules" based on having British children who reside here and wanting to be a part of their lives.  This is a long and expensive path.  And one that is horrible to be on, as sometimes these are "deadbeat dads" who aren't interested in being in their children's lives but simply want to make the ex "pay".

Like I said, I'm sure this 100% isn't something that isn't in your future, but it is a risk.  I have all of my eggs in my husband's basket.  He is the owner of our two homes, so that we are not subject to USA taxation.  Unfortunately, I have a divorce under my belt, so I know how quickly a partner can change and decide to want a new life.  If my now-husband did that to me, that would suck.  Really bad.  But it is what it is.  I knew what I was signing up for.  (All that being said, I trust him implicitly and if I end up with egg on my face, so be it.)

Thanks for this info...I know anything can happen, but really hope and don’t see this as a possibility for us....all that to say it’s definitely worth considering.

One of the biggest things ppl say about the dream that I have and have had for YEARS about moving to the uk is that I’ll hate the weather. I mean I get that it rains and can be cold, but gracious I seriously loathe and hate the heat and humidity here and have for many many many years. I’d rather need a jacket and be cool than not be able to take enough clothes off and still be hot and sweaty. Is the weather really that bad?!?! I mean wouldn’t it be the equivalent of living in Seattle/Washington State? That’s a dream place for me too....

One question I do have is we have a rental home on air bnb that we have a mortgage on. If we did move to England and kept it, what would be the best thing to do tax wise? Unfortunately the mortgage is in both our names...could I claim it as my income and file taxes so to avoid my husband having to pay taxes in both us and England?? Does that make sense at all??


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One of the biggest things ppl say about the dream that I have and have had for YEARS about moving to the uk is that I’ll hate the weather. I mean I get that it rains and can be cold, but gracious I seriously loathe and hate the heat and humidity here and have for many many many years. I’d rather need a jacket and be cool than not be able to take enough clothes off and still be hot and sweaty. Is the weather really that bad?!?! I mean wouldn’t it be the equivalent of living in Seattle/Washington State? That’s a dream place for me too....

People may disagree with me and I know so many people talk about how much it rains in the UK, but I honestly don't feel like it rains here that exceptionally more than in the US. I think the difference is that in the rain, where I was used to snow, I get rain instead...but then I don't really get snow (it's very rare it seems when it snows around where I live and, when it does, it hardly ever sticks!). It does snow on occasion but compared to what I was used to in New England it's laughable! I would take the rain over that level of snow any day.

One of the biggest things ppl say about the dream that I have and have had for YEARS about moving to the uk is that I’ll hate the weather. I mean I get that it rains and can be cold, but gracious I seriously loathe and hate the heat and humidity here and have for many many many years. I’d rather need a jacket and be cool than not be able to take enough clothes off and still be hot and sweaty. Is the weather really that bad?!?! I mean wouldn’t it be the equivalent of living in Seattle/Washington State? That’s a dream place for me too...

Some people love UK weather, some people struggle with it.

Because we’re a small island, the weather can be very changeable... we have 5 different air masses affecting us, and the wind direction will determine what type of weather we get:

West or Southwesterly winds (most common wind direction) = mild, damp/wet weather from the Atlantic, usually associated with frontal depressions/low pressure systems

Northwesterly winds = cool air, showers (possibly snow showers in winter, though mainly in the north and west of the U.K.)

Northerly winds = cold air from the Arctic. Snow showers in winter, cooler air and showers in summer.

Northeasterly winds = cooler air from Scandinavia, sometimes brings showers, sometimes just low cloud and sea fog to the eastern side of the U.K.

Easterly or southeasterly winds = warm air from Russia in summer, cold air from Russia in winter. Usually dry, with warmer temperatures in summer and chilly conditions in winter

Southeasterly or Southerly winds = warm, dry air from the continent/France Spain. Brings the ‘very’ hot weather in summer, but also hazy conditions and heat-generated thunderstorms.

We’ve had a very dry, high-pressure- dominated summer so far this year with  mainly easterly winds and temperatures around 70-80 degrees (with the northwest and Scotland getting 85-90 degrees) for the last 2 weeks, and it’s set to continue for the next week or so as well .

However, it can rain a lot in the summer - not necessarily heavy downpours but grey skies and light rain or showers days. It’s unusual for us to get more than about a week or so of hot temperatures (above 75 degrees) in a row.

Having said that we do actually get less rain per year on average than several US cities (just from a quick Google search so hope these are accurate):

London = 23 inches per year (106 days of rain)
Seattle = 37.5 inches per year (152 days of rain)
New York = 46 inches per year (121 days of rain)
Houston = 50 inches per year (104 days of rain)


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Thanks for this info...I know anything can happen, but really hope and don’t see this as a possibility for us....all that to say it’s definitely worth considering.

One of the biggest things ppl say about the dream that I have and have had for YEARS about moving to the uk is that I’ll hate the weather. I mean I get that it rains and can be cold, but gracious I seriously loathe and hate the heat and humidity here and have for many many many years. I’d rather need a jacket and be cool than not be able to take enough clothes off and still be hot and sweaty. Is the weather really that bad?!?! I mean wouldn’t it be the equivalent of living in Seattle/Washington State? That’s a dream place for me too....

One question I do have is we have a rental home on air bnb that we have a mortgage on. If we did move to England and kept it, what would be the best thing to do tax wise? Unfortunately the mortgage is in both our names...could I claim it as my income and file taxes so to avoid my husband having to pay taxes in both us and England?? Does that make sense at all??


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If you were to measure rainfall totals - no it doesn't rain much.  It IS grey and damp a LOT though.  Granted, we are having a unicorn of a summer and we are all living the dream right now!  SUN EVERYWHERE.

I will tell you about my first year here.  I too had everyone saying about the weather.  I moved here after the first of the year from Colorado, so didn't feel it was cold at all.  What WAS hard for me was the summer - and honestly I find summer the hardest part.  I vividly remember walking home from the train in August with my coat on and wishing I had a scarf.  At that point, I realised it was August.  There was no hope for a summer at all.  And I started to cry.  And I cried the whole walk home!  lol!  Luckily I think we've only had one other really bad summer since that one.  We usually get a couple of weeks total of weather in the 70's/80's.  Once as early as April/May.  And if we're lucky an "Indian summer" which is an extra warm from in September time.

The grey affects probably 90%+ of us those first few years.  It does take getting used to.  I know people who have SAD light boxes which they find helps.  I take a high dose of Vitamin D daily.  This is not Colorado with 300 days a year of sunshine.  (I grew up in Florida to top that off).  I'll attach a funny meme at the bottom from the London 2012 Olympics.    This meme was all over the Internet during the games. 

Is your husband a US citizen?  If not, he really should consider becoming a US citizen before the move.  Otherwise if he wanted to return (after a year), he'd have to reapply for a visa.  I think he will still have some US tax obligations for a year or two after he moves.  Will depend on his personal circumstance.

There are a lot of micro-climates. It is *bloody* freezing in the Scottish Highlands in the winter, I can tell you that. It's so damp and windy and full of freezing fog that it feels much worse than what's on a temperature gage. My parents and sisters have come for a visit from Massachusetts in the winter and couldn't believe just how cold it was. And they all said they would never want to drive on the single track,crazy roads in the snow either.

The funny thing was, on the one snow day that wrecked the whole country this past winter,we (25 mile radius) sat  in glorious sunshine without a single flake.   I can regularly have snow up in the hills where I live but drive down off the hills just 2 miles and there is no snow.

I'm feeling like I'm in the Twilight Zone this summer with bright sunshine and temps reaching 22C (and Sunday was 28C!!) on a regular basis.  The grass is brown. Feels surreal to me.  Normally it's like 16C, grey, damp, gross in the summer.  It's never heavy rain, it's always damp, endless, gross rain. 

One of the biggest things ppl say about the dream that I have and have had for YEARS about moving to the uk ...

I always worry a little when people say they have a dream to come here, that if the country doesn't live up to expectations, the transition will be harder and the move less likely to be successful. Try to keep an open mind when you get here, the UK is what it is!   

I always worry a little when people say they have a dream to come here, that if the country doesn't live up to expectations, the transition will be harder and the move less likely to be successful. Try to keep an open mind when you get here, the UK is what it is!   

This is extremely good advice.

When you get down to it, we all get up in the morning and go to work to pay the bills.  Life is not sexier here nor there.  It’s all in what suits you and your family best.

I always worry a little when people say they have a dream to come here, that if the country doesn't live up to expectations, the transition will be harder and the move less likely to be successful. Try to keep an open mind when you get here, the UK is what it is!   

I totally understand what you’re saying...I know visiting is different than living, but we’ve loved the time we’ve spent there exploring the countryside, visiting family, learning the history, etc. one of my best friends has lived in London area for 10 plus years and she definitely hasn’t sugar coated it for me. I tend to be a pessimistic person in general, so I don’t feel like I have an idealized idea of living there. But, I have wanted to move there for a super long time however I think the advice to not think it’s this perfect amazing place is legitimate and a good reminder. Any place we consider in the states or abroad is going to have pros and cons, and I am so thankful for this group to show me the poop and the diamonds


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I will tell you about my first year here.  I too had everyone saying about the weather.  I moved here after the first of the year from Colorado, so didn't feel it was cold at all.  What WAS hard for me was the summer - and honestly I find summer the hardest part.  I vividly remember walking home from the train in August with my coat on and wishing I had a scarf.  At that point, I realised it was August.  There was no hope for a summer at all.  And I started to cry.  And I cried the whole walk home!  lol!  Luckily I think we've only had one other really bad summer since that one.  We usually get a couple of weeks total of weather in the 70's/80's.  Once as early as April/May.  And if we're lucky an "Indian summer" which is an extra warm from in September time.

That can definitely be difficult, especially when you're used to spending your summers in the sun by the beach or pool etc.  Being from New England, I'm used to 4 square seasons more or less and moving here was tough as it seemed like there were only really two seasons (wet or dry with the occasional chance of heat and sun). The cold is COLD here. Like I'm used to cold and snow but this is like dampness down to your bones....but you do get used to it when you learn what to do that works best for you.

What I will say that is positive is that being here means you're closer to some really good and sunny holiday spots! And they are much more affordable than if you were coming from the US! If you go on off-seasons it can be dirt cheap. We went to Italy in September and the flights, round-trip, were less than £100! (believe one way was like £25, no joke!) it was still VERY warm there and I got a tan while everybody else back in the UK had their tan's fading LOL.

I always worry a little when people say they have a dream to come here, that if the country doesn't live up to expectations, the transition will be harder and the move less likely to be successful. Try to keep an open mind when you get here, the UK is what it is!   

Yes! 100%!

Even when the dreams don't get shattered, 9 times out of 10 there will be some things you realise "oh wow, I had this WAY wrong!". As KF said, it's nothing glamorous at the end of the day as you still have to wake up and do the same stuff you'd be doing anywhere else in the world.

Moved here to retire (had visited the UK several times previously).

Plus, the Daughter is at Uni here now. We are hoping to stay when she finishes, as well, because we really do like it here. Very pleasant people, cost of living is doable, climate (except for this obnoxious "this hasn't happened in 40 years" heat wave) is great.... 

Would have retired here, if logistics worked, even if the Daughter wasn't in school here. Might have gone for a smaller town in that case, though. But am happy in Glasgow.

Another thing that many expats/immigrants find frustrating, is that everyone in the USA will think you are living a high roller life and should be able to afford anything and everything.  Some random person is getting married, well then - you and your entire family need to fly back for it no matter the cost or timing!