Inconvenient Annoyances

WOW Jewlz that is a roller coaster and it was the first family visit over which I am scared of as it will be emotional for them to leave as well.
No worries you and your mom will talk as you always have....you may be over analyzing it and you can't change it so if mom says no worries, believe no worries.  It might be easier to discuss if you want via phone once she is home.  I am sure you had a lovely time but now also reality is back no more vacation.  At least you got a job WOOHOO and the redundancy pay is coming threw and your DH may get a job back at the factory...
Think on the positives...It will pay off!
Huggss!!!

Jewlz, I sometimes go through mixed emotions after visits from and to relatives.  I think there is the potential for differences of opinion and old disagreements to get exaggerated when we're together for such a short and intense period of time, trying to catch up with each other at the same time as packing in as much vacation/sightseeing/fun as we possibly can.  It's like Christmas in that even with planning and good intentions, somebody's (or everybody's)feelings can end up getting hurt. 

ksand24, I hope your contract comes through soon and good luck with the new job!

My IA is that the BNP has decided to open their national media centre in my town.    I'm not sure why, because they haven't any support for their candidates from this community.  Bleck!

Oh - Jewlz - families, eh?  Can't live with them, but can't live without them.    I am really kind of glad that I don't spend major holidays with my family (of birth) - although it's just my brothers now.  Sort of like what Tin said, there's so much buildup & it rarely lives up to the expectations - at least in my case.  I did go back for Thanksgiving one year since I moved here, but it really felt like more trouble (for everyone) than it was worth.  This year, I suggested going back for Thanksgiving to my favourite brother & got - well, we're not going to be home (for a good reason) but why don't you check with...  And I looked at airfares & just thought - forget about it!

When my mom was still alive & still in her head, I didn't have the best relationship with her.  It's like the family you were born into, well they know all your most sensitive vulnerabilities, don't they?   

I like spending the holidays & all with DH's family - because there I had no particular expectations, so whatever happens - it's okay. 

Just give yourself some time & be kind to yourself - I'm sure you'll get to feeling better.  Cozy up with your DH, read, take a long bath, go for a long walk, do the wild thing, you'll start feeling better - especially having your space back to yourselves again. 

Oh, Jewlz, it's so tough sometimes. I also have a...contentious relationship with my mother. I think a lot of it is rooted in the fact that I just want her to...open her eyes to how many amazing chances she has? The great stuff in life?  So much stuff that wouldn't bother me if I didn't want her to be happy. Every once in awhile I have to step back and remind myself that the only thing I can control about our relationship is my reaction to her. I still snap at her sometimes, but it helps afterwards because I am only taking responsibility for myself. I'm sorry she wasn't able to interact with your SS, but it's not your fault, and the kind way you dealt with him matters more than anything she could have or did do.
Hugs.

Hugs Jewlz!  I felt the same way in the lead up to moving, like I wanted to spend time with my family because I love them and also like I wanted to get the hell out because they drive me nuts.  My mom and I got into it about stupid things a few times and boarding the plane was like a giant weight lifted off my shoulders.  Which I felt really guilty about, and the first couple days I was here I felt a little blue because of all the mixed emotions going on.  Families are so difficult.  I'm sorry on top of all the other crap on your plate that you also have to deal with this.  I think Mrs. R had some great advice- this is a great time to cozy up with your man and let yourself feel better. 

Wow, thanks everyone. The suggestion of curling up with DH is a fantastic one, however, we have DSS again this weekend. I adore him, but I really need some quiet time and his presence is not helping my mood.  I'm just doing my best to act normal for his sake and not be annoyed by him (he can't help how I feel right now and it has nothing to do with him) but I honestly can't wait until he goes to bed so I can chill out. 

Jennie, that's so right about what you said. I spent a few years in therapy to learn that I can't control how my family acts, only my reactions to them. I say that to myself all of the time. I guess I just need time to wind down. I think what I am actually feeling is a tidal wave of homesickness, even though my folks were driving me nuts. So far today, I had McD's for breakfast on the way home from the airport, and a bowl of Kraft Mac and Cheese for lunch. Guess I'm comfort eating. 

Another IA:  Manager at new job just called and said due to structural changes, they don't want me to start for another two weeks. 

Hang in there J!

Last time I was in the US I had a HUGE fall out with my dad, after we left I didn't telephone my parents for 4 months. Then out of the blue one day my Dad phones me up and asked when we were 'coming home' because they moved the renter out of my old house and were holding it empty for us.

That's the strange thing about me & my dad, we get along better when we're 6,000 miles apart.

My IA: I miss my Dad   , go figure.

Wandered around to a bunch of shops looking for herbs, still couldn't find all the things I needed.

Also, still tired even though I slept until almost noon.

Awww Jewlz (((hugs))) that's a lot of emotions to go through-ups and downs and everything in between.  Its OK to have a comfort eating day and to wallow after that- look after yourself 

Wow, thanks everyone. The suggestion of curling up with DH is a fantastic one, however, we have DSS again this weekend. I adore him, but I really need some quiet time and his presence is not helping my mood.  I'm just doing my best to act normal for his sake and not be annoyed by him (he can't help how I feel right now and it has nothing to do with him) but I honestly can't wait until he goes to bed so I can chill out. 

I know what you mean with this.  I've just moved in with my BF and he has his son 24/7 except for 1 weekend a month when he goes to his mum's. 

Love the kiddo, but it's a big adjustment for me.  I have been very much on my own for the last 7-8 years.  I'm used to being able to go home and be alone when I'm stressed and just unwind, but I realize all too well now that you don't always get that chance when there's kids in the picture.

It's difficult not to get frustrated with a moany kid when all you feel like doing is being a moany kid yourself!   

Bedtime is a wonderful thing! (And so is wine  )  I hope you feel better soon!

J - your relationship with your mom sounds like mine with my oldest sister. You are very right, you can't control anything but your reactions. Knowing that doesn't really make it any better though   Sorry about the job not starting for another couple of weeks, you'd have thought they'd have been able to sort it out.

My IA - hubby is down and frustrated and dejected about not being able to find a job or a way to make money and I really don't have the patience to deal with him tonight, which makes me feel guilty and want to curl up in a ball and start crying because I a) don't like seeing him like this, and b) feel bad for being fed up.

J - your relationship with your mom sounds like mine with my oldest sister. You are very right, you can't control anything but your reactions. Knowing that doesn't really make it any better though   Sorry about the job not starting for another couple of weeks, you'd have thought they'd have been able to sort it out.

My IA - hubby is down and frustrated and dejected about not being able to find a job or a way to make money and I really don't have the patience to deal with him tonight, which makes me feel guilty and want to curl up in a ball and start crying because I a) don't like seeing him like this, and b) feel bad for being fed up.

Thanks to everyone who is sympathizing. I guess I could have posted this in the moaning about parents thread wherever that is. I spent a while venting to my MIL and FIL. I felt bad for it, in a way, like I was just talking trash about my own family, but, I guess everyone does that sometimes.  Anyway, they knew all about the goings on because they live across the street and I snuck over for a brandy with FIL after the row.  They made me feel a bit better, even though I didn't get offered another brandy!    I'm pretty annoyed about the job, but I guess there is nothing to be done about it. At least they still want me to work there, as far as I know. 

NoseOverTail, I can only imagine how you feel, as DSS is only usually here every other weekend, though we have had him three weekends running because we asked for the extra weekend with him while my parents were here. Plus we will be having him for Bramble Week next month. I love spending time with him, just wasn't in the mood for it today, as you said, I wanted to be a moany kid myself. 

Pengi, I hope your hubby finds a job soon. I am afraid if my hubs doesn't that I may be sharing this IA.  He is pretty fragile about the whole job thing just now, and I'm really hoping good news comes his way next week. Hopefully your hubs will find something soon. There aren't a great deal of jobs out there at the moment, and of course, the longer you are out of work, the harder it is to get back into work.  Hugs to you for feeling frustrated with dealing with his frustration. Sometimes it's hard work to be positive and supportive when your partner is depressed.

I called my sister the other day because I hadn't talked to her in ages. The conversation is still rubbing me the wrong way. All she really wanted to know was if I am pregnant (which I'm not). Other than that she complained about how they had to go visit our 93 year old grandmother. I would KILL to go visit my grandma right now! Funny enough, I think I see my grandma more in a year than my sister does, and she lives an hour away from her.    One of the last times we talked was just after our other grandmother died. My sister was complaining that the day scheduled for the funeral wasn't really convenient for her. Oh, and my sister is an uber-Christian. Go figure.

I called my sister the other day because I hadn't talked to her in ages. The conversation is still rubbing me the wrong way. All she really wanted to know was if I am pregnant (which I'm not). Other than that she complained about how they had to go visit our 93 year old grandmother. I would KILL to go visit my grandma right now! Funny enough, I think I see my grandma more in a year than my sister does, and she lives an hour away from her.    One of the last times we talked was just after our other grandmother died. My sister was complaining that the day scheduled for the funeral wasn't really convenient for her. Oh, and my sister is an uber-Christian. Go figure.

Yikes! This makes me kind of glad I'm an only child.  Sorry your sister is so selfish. Hopefully you will get to see your grandma soon.

Hugs to you Jewlz My mother and I have a long pottered history, and my dad *sigh* I know I need to sort that out before it's too late.

Mine is...today I woke up without pain in my boob, antibiotics kicked in, final dose was this morning and feel good, had a good day....just as I'm about to go to bed I break out in head to toe itchy ITCHY hives, it's a Penicillin rash, boy has just gone to 24 hour Tescos to get me some benadryl. Great, I'm allergic to Penicillin now. Fab :/