The official UKY inlaw venting thread

DH and I went to his parent's place the last weekend of May. Much to my horror there were birthday cards for his mother on the mantle! DH never mentioned it to me! Of course he's like, oh, yeah, I'm not sure of the exact date.    Great. Fortunately, I'm sure his mother couldn't care less, but I felt like an idiot. His family doesn't do Mother's Day/Father's Day and birthdays aren't really a big deal (obviously!). Christmas is when everyone goes nuts.

Yeah, my DH is horrible with birthdays and never told me about any of them OR my MIL and FIL's 45th wedding anniversary last year.  I finally just had to ask my MIL when all the occasions were and put them in my calendar so I could take over the card giving (they aren't so big on gifts, but not giving a card is an insult in his family, really) and also, for Christmas, I didn't realise that cards were due weeks before Christmas and had to be special ones (Happy Christmas, Mother, etc.) instead of just box cards. I just gave box cards last year since that's what my family does, and I gave them just a few days before Christmas, so we got a few snide sort of comments about it. At least I know for this year!

Alright people.  I figured this was my safe bet to rant.  Let me begin by saying I love living in Northern Ireland, the Republic is beautiful as well.  I am grateful for the assistance I have received by anyone to help me gethere...HOWEVER

Mother-in-law...

I am very grateful for what she has done for her son, myself and our daughter BUT she needs to remember that she is MY daughter and her sons daughter.  Not HER daughter!  I wish she'd respect our parental wishes!!  Pulling the child from her fathers arms, literally taking the stroller away, yanking the pacifier out of the child's mouth, insisting that she doesn't eat enough, or that when she does eat it must be smothered in custard.

Washing laundry without splitting whites and darks (or bathmats!!) and washing dishes without rinsing them (I know I saw this on another thread in here months ago!!) and for f&^ks sake- "washing" the bottles/sippy cups in dirty dishwater, not rinising them so that I find them greasy, stinking of rotten milk with dried food chunks.

*takes a breath*

this is a start, anyway..

(as you can see, we have had to live with her until we are on our own feet.. the sooner I get work, the better!  Husband only recently started work!)

My new IL rant.  DH just got back from spending nearly 24 hours a day with the ILs for nearly 2 weeks.  And guess who's coming to visit us??  They love him so much they can't bear to be separated from him again.

I'm still kind of new to the yankeeuk forum and have a rather dumb question: what's "DH" stand for?   

"Dear Husband" There's also DF (dear fiance/e), DBF (dear boyfriend), DS (dear son), DD (dear daughter), etc... Here's list: http://talk.uk-yankee.com/index.php?topic=10959.0

My MIL has a 'phone voice'. She uses it when she makes business calls or has to leave a voice mail. She drops her voice about an octave and makes herself sound very serious. I always giggled about it in the UK as I was never on the receiving end of them. But now, in the US, she uses 'the voice' for messages she leaves us... and I can't understand her at all.

My new IL rant.  DH just got back from spending nearly 24 hours a day with the ILs for nearly 2 weeks.  And guess who's coming to visit us??  They love him so much they can't bear to be separated from him again.

Welcome to my world.  My husband moved out of his mother's home 22 years ago, and she still refuses to cut the cord.

yeah my MIL has a phone voice too.  I have since seen the real side!

Oh. My. God.  My MIL takes the CAKE today!  She dropped in an email that she wants to come visit, and she told us some tentative dates.  DH and I discussed and said fine, but can you email/call us before you book so we can discuss.  DH calls her today to try and discuss, but the line's busy as she's online (dialup, of course).  And next thing we know, there's a booked itinerary sitting in his inbox!!  FFS!!!  What the hell!  And did I mention they're also going to my parents' place in Chicago?!  MIL didn't even ask if they were around to host!  And they arrive at 5AM in Chicago (red eye to save money, don't ya know)!  I am about to scream!

Oh. My. God.  My MIL takes the CAKE today!  She dropped in an email that she wants to come visit, and she told us some tentative dates.  DH and I discussed and said fine, but can you email/call us before you book so we can discuss.  DH calls her today to try and discuss, but the line's busy as she's online (dialup, of course).  And next thing we know, there's a booked itinerary sitting in his inbox!!  FFS!!!  What the hell!  And did I mention they're also going to my parents' place in Chicago?!  MIL didn't even ask if they were around to host!  And they arrive at 5AM in Chicago (red eye to save money, don't ya know)!  I am about to scream!

Hugs, hugs, hugs.

You should tell her that you forgot you've got to be out of town during the time she booked to visit.

Hugs, hugs, hugs.

You should tell her that you forgot you've got to be out of town during the time she booked to visit.

We tried!!  Okay, not really, but she did drop in 'if this is inconvenient we can take care of ourselves then.'  Gee, thanks!  Really helps!   

I just called my mom to give her the good news and she was like    My poor, poor parents.

Mine also drives me nuts because I think she has an aversion to overweight people. Not that I enjoy being overweight now, but she has to make comments about it to myself and my husband.  She's a size 8 (uk) and eats nothing but crap (instant coffee, sugar and cigarettes).  Cakes, cookies, donuts, candy, ice cream- you name it!  She eats a child's dream diet!  She's small but is on medication for her cholesterol.  She's a heart attack waiting to happen.  I may be overweight now but all of my blood labs came back in safe, normal limits!  When I first came over, my husband gave me some sweet treats or things I liked on prior visits.  If she saw us eating any of it, I got to hear "Oh Amanda! You'll have to go for a walk in the field after eating that!" and "You should walk into town and back in order to eat something like that!"  She even makes comments to his sister who is not a big girl at all (but used to be a little overweight).  I also think she equates weight with laziness.

We tried!!  Okay, not really, but she did drop in 'if this is inconvenient we can take care of ourselves then.'  Gee, thanks!  Really helps!   

I just called my mom to give her the good news and she was like    My poor, poor parents.

UGGGGHH!!!!!!!

We tried!!  Okay, not really, but she did drop in 'if this is inconvenient we can take care of ourselves then.'  Gee, thanks!  Really helps!   

I just called my mom to give her the good news and she was like    My poor, poor parents.

Oy vey.  I know I've said it before, but I swear our MILs were separated at birth.  That's exactly something that mine would have... check that... HAS done.

Oy vey.  I know I've said it before, but I swear our MILs were separated at birth.  That's exactly something that mine would have... check that... HAS done.

I truly think they were.

DH just rang and said he talked to her and she had already booked her ticket to stay an extra 5 days with us after my FIL leaves.  WTFWTFWTF?  Plus she booked the tickets out of LaGuardia which is a nightmare for us.  Hello!  This is why we wanted to discuss all of this with you!  She changed hers to leave out of Hartford but we still have to drive to LGA and back twice to get them and to drop FIL off. 

AND!  She never even called or emailed my parents to ask if she could stay with them, despite DH asking her to.  He was shocked when I told him they had nae clue.  Shocked, I tells ya.